Glenn Beck
From RationalWiki
| “ | Only in America can you make that much money crying. … Glenn Beck is not aligned with any party. He is aligned with cynicism and there has always been a market for cynics. | ” |
| —Senator Lindsey Graham, 01 October 2009 | ||
Glenn Beck, former rodeo clown and present day Fox News Corp clown, is a batshit crazy right-wing blatherer "commentator" on the Fox News cartoon channel where he presents the eponymous Glenn Beck Show. He has his own radio show and originally appeared on CNN's Headline News until viewers couldn't take it anymore.
Like others on Fox and Clear Channel, Beck is, was, and remains a strong supporter of the war in Iraq, and presents evidence that we'll win any day now. Unlike other right-wing commentators such as Neal Boortz, Beck correctly signaled what any kid with a high school economics course already knew, that the US economy could not sustain the trickle-down Reaganomics on a Chinese credit card, showing even a broken clock is correct twice a day.
Beck, a former alcoholic and current moronic Mormon admits that he used to be imperfect, but since he discovered that all the world's woes are the fault of liberals, leftists, centrists, progressives, fake Republicans, or real Democrats, he is now perfect and able to bestow his wisdom upon us.
Glenn Beck's favorite book is The Five Thousand Year Leap by fellow Mormon author W. Cleon Skousen who is also the author of a series of tomes purporting to be a comprehensive history of the world through the lens of Mormon theology: The First Two Thousand Years, The Third Thousand Years, and The Fourth Thousand Years. (Essentially a Mormon version of this). The theme of The Five Thousand Year Leap appears to be that more human progress took place at once because of the Founding Fathers of the United States and their God-fearing worldview than in the previous 4000 years.
He recently put out a book, trying to style himself as a modern Thomas Paine (the insane version). He even titled the book Common Sense.
Glenn Beck also started stirring up controversy when he stated that John McCain would do more harm to the country than Barack Obama, and even stating he would have rather voted for Hillary Clinton.[1]
Contents |
[edit] Global warming - due to Beck's hot air, not CO2
It is part of the Beck credo that global warming is a conspiracy and a figment of Al Gore's imagination and liberals' greedy desire to step in and save the world from Bushism. Beck dedicated an hour show to 'proving' global warming does not exist. He also insists that evolution is another plot promulgated upon the world by scientists. His favorite movie is Ben Stein's Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed which he repeatedly promotes. Fortunately, he has stopped short of complete wingnuttery by devoting part of one episode of his show to debunking the FEMA concentration camp conspiracy theory.
[edit] Scary shit
- Glenn Beck surrounds you, with the help of Chuck Norris. Nobody is quite sure exactly what "We Surround Them" means, but it sounds creepily like the spiritual warfare crowd's use of the phrase, "stand in the gap".
- Tears flow easily from Beck's face, and he is known for his emotional breakdowns, more-often-than-not live on air.[2] There are three explanations for this:
1) He genuinely does love his country and fears for it in the most passionate of ways;2) He is cynically exploiting the people who love America more than their own children;3) Beck is emotionally unstable. Place your bets now, please.A video from a recent photoshoot has since demonstrated that Beck is not above Vicks VapoRub® applied under his eyes to induce his waterworks, although there is no proof that he does this for his television show.
- Beck also has a bizarrely short temper. While discussing healthcare on his radio show with a caller, he lost it completely and had what can be best described as a hissy fit, ending the conversation by repeatedly shrieking "Get off my show!" Beck and the other presenter then blamed the caller for being in the wrong. Nice.[3]
- Glenn Beck appears, for all intents and purposes, to be growing increasingly delusional as his viewer base increases. In one of his latest clips he identifies several pieces of "communist art" hiding in plain sight in NYC (although, this being New York, he has probably spotted actual communist art that he thinks is cunningly hidden).
[edit] Paranoia
In most of Glenn Beck's time on Fox News, he has frequently shown himself as being paranoid. Many examples of this are claiming that the Obama administration was "building something" using taxpayer money, though Beck did not elaborate on what they were building. He has also spoken out against the New World Order, devoting an entire segment to it on his show.[4] He also spoke out against the Obama administraion for their socialism, quoting George Orwell many times to show how they were turning into Big Brother (Hint: George Orwell supported socialism, so the irony is very delicious here).
[edit] Glenn Beck quotes
- Isn't Expelled like the greatest movie ever? The New York Times hates it, so it must be good.
- Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck Show[5]
- I'm not a journalist.
- New York Times, 16 June 2009
- I'm just a rodeo clown.
- New York Times, 09 March 2009
- Believe what I say… you're an idiot.
- New York Times, 29 March 2009
- I either believe what I say, or I'm a fraud.
- Glenn Beck Show (undated)
- I'm turning into a frickin' televangelist.
- Glenn Beck Show, 13 Mar 2009
- Get off my phone! GET OFF MY PHONE, YOU LITTLE PINHEAD! I don't care - YOU PEOPLE don't CARE about the trillions of dollars - GET OFF MY PHONE!!!!
- Glenn Beck Radio Show, 15 July 2009, trying desperately to construct an anti-healthcare argument against a caller named Kathy
- America, I'm gonna' shoot straight with you. I think I've wasted your time.
- Glenn Beck signing off - March 9, 2010
[edit] Suicide watch
- See the Wikipedia article on Howard Beale.
Mike Malloy, a crazy-assed liberal talk radio host based out of "the foothills of north Georgia", has put Mr. Beck on a suicide watch. Mr. Malloy has also opined that Mr. Beck, ideally, should do it on live television.
[edit] Not understanding the Constitution
Recently Mr. Beck decided to go and read his beloved Constitution, and found this line in Section 1 Article 9:
"The migration or importation of such persons as any of the states now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the year one thousand eight hundred and eight, but a tax or duty may be imposed on such importation, not exceeding ten dollars for each person."[6]
He believed it referred to a tax on immigration, and said so on his show. The quoted article from the Constitution is in fact referring to the transportation of slaves into the states - as anyone with the reading comprehension skills of goat would know.
[edit] Gold
Recently Beck has started reporting that the economy could soon collapse, and people should start investing in gold (part of his 3 Gs: guns, gold and god). In a strange coincidence, his ratings have plummeted, many advertisers have left, and many of the remaining advertisers sell ... gold. This would be funny if it wasn't so scary. Beck claims that during one of his shows the market value of gold went up $50. It's terrifying to think this man could influence the economy.
Of course, even his own arguments for buying gold are transparently false to anyone with even a few brain cells.[7]
[edit] Tax problems
Beck has ridiculed the Obama administration on several occasions for its cabinet's share of issues with proper tax filings.
| “ | Their tax issues are just one indicator of "a culture of corruption among some of the left," Beck declared just last month in a segment on his hugely popular Fox News television show, in which he branded Geithner, Killefer, Solis and a handful of other Obama nominees "tax cheats," whom he wouldn't trust "with my children, let alone my children's future." . . . Mocking the excuses offered by the nominees, Beck sarcastically intoned: "Oh, the tax thing, it was an accident. It was my husband's fault. I didn't do it, he did it. I didn't mean to do it. I was just working hard for the people."[8] | ” |
Glenn Beck and his wife run Mercury Radio Arts, to help promote and control his rights in radio, publication and television. Since 2007, Mercury has fallen behind on its business taxes in New York, and cited for filing errors in Texas and with New York worker's compensation.
| “ | "Mercury immediately resolved these very common accounting issues," said the source, who did not want to be identified discussing Mercury's finances.
Dean Zerbe, national managing director for a company called alliantgroup that provides specialty tax services to accounting firms, said Beck's situation "has the look and feel of somebody who is confronting an extraordinarily complicated tax situation — or at least the people he's hired to do these things are — and is trying to comply but isn't doing everything perfectly."[9] | ” |
[edit] Following section copied from Conservapedia
[edit] 9/12 Project
In 2009, Beck launched the 9/12 project, a project aimed at recovering America's Christian founding values, closely allied with the Tea Party Movement[link amended by RW]. On September 12, 2009 (9/12), a massive Taxpayer March on Washington was accomplished, with hundreds of thousands of attendees, and was roundly censored by the liberal media.
[edit] The Project's 9 Principles, 12 Values
The 9 Principles:
- America Is Good.
- I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.
- I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.
- The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.
- If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.
- I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.
- I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.
- It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.
- The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.
The 12 Values: Honesty, Reverence, Hope, Thrift, Humility, Charity, Sincerity, Moderation, Hard Work, Courage, Personal Responsibility, Gratitude
[edit] Footnotes
- ↑ Washington Post, 22 September 2009
- ↑ The Daily Show - Moment of Zen, Glenn Beck
- ↑ Glenn Beck loses it - genuinely scary stuff.
- ↑ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsD1-R5iKNE&feature=related
- ↑ However, the New York Times also showed his book, An Inconvenient Book, at the top of its "Best Seller" list. Using admittedly terrible logic, Beck's book must be utter shite.
- ↑ msnbc's Keith Olbermann comments on Glenn Beck's inability to differentiate between slavery and immigration
- ↑ http://unleashingchiang.blogspot.com/2009/12/more-reason-glenn-beck-is-idiot.html
- ↑ "What if it's Beck with a tax 'accident'?" Politico [1]
- ↑ "What if it's Beck with a tax 'accident'?" Politico [2]
