Connecticut

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Connecticut, the "nutmeg state", is a suburb of New York City and home to a city where they work in insurance - Hartford. Yeah, a real party town. If you like antique shopping, that is.^[1]

Contents 1 Geography 2 Neighborly love 3 "Tourism" 4 Edumacations 5 High standards 6 Famous Connecticunts 7 Footnotes

[edit] Geography

Though technically part of New England, an awful lot of people from Connecticut will vociferously deny that, largely due to them being New York Yankees fans.

[edit] Neighborly love

The rest of New England doesn't really know what to do with Connecticut either -- Maine, Rhode Island, and New Hampshire mostly spend their time being alternately pissed off at or envious of Massachusetts; Western Massachusetts mostly spends time being just plain pissed off at Boston^[2]; and Bostonians, unaware that anything exists beyond the 495 beltway but apple trees to the west, strip clubs to the south, tax-free shopping to the north, and New York City somewhere down below in the depths of Hell, pretty much don't care either way. Vermonters are a special case that really defies description, but it mostly involves beer, dairy products, maple syrup, and easy access to Montreal.

[edit] "Tourism"

There's a cool submarine museum in Groton featuring free admission (your tax dollars at work!) that includes a revolutionary war era "submarine" and a Nautilus-class nuclear powered and armed submarine bolted to the dock that the amazed visitor can tour. Oh, and there's also a Poseidon missile lying on its side so you can see just how cool we are. I think the warhead was removed. Groton is home to both a U.S. Navy base and Electric Boat (A Division of General Dynamics), where they build, guess what? Nucular Nuclear submarines!

[edit] Edumacations

Connecticut is home to a "university" called "Yale".

It is illegal to educate dogs in Hartford, Connecticut.^[3]

[edit] High standards

Pickles in Connecticut must bounce when dropped from one foot above an oak table, by law.

[edit] Famous Connecticunts

• George W. Bush was born in New Haven, Connecticut, and the state will be apologizing until kingdom come.
• One of Connecticut's U.S. Senators is named Joe Lieberman. He truly is, it turns out, a party of one.

[edit] Footnotes

1. ↑ And if they can't afford to buy antiques, they just copulate. (Christ, Jesus H, and the Four Hornsmen of the Apocalypse, Connecticut's for Fucking.)
2. ↑ Seriously -- kids from central Mass. piss in the Quabbin Reservoir all the time.
3. ↑ Dog Facts and The Law.