New Hampshire

From RationalWiki

New Hampshire, also known as "New Hampsha'" or "Cow Hampshire", is one of the original thirteen British colonies to throw off the yoke of government and form the United States. It was the ninth state to ratify the Constitution, making it binding.

The capital is Concord, which (like its namesake in Massachusetts to the south) is pronounced "conquered". The largest city is Manchester, which is known as "ManchVegas" to the locals for reasons no one really knows. The only part that counts^[1] is the city of Nashua, a popular shopping destination for Bay Staters who don't want to pay sales tax.

Contents 1 Government, or not 2 Libertarian takeover 3 Tourism 4 Who Cares? 5 Notable New Hampshirites 6 Footnotes

[edit] Government, or not

New Hampshire has no broad-based state taxes (income, sales, etc.), and rakes in most of its cash from tourists via a "rooms and meals" tax. The state only does two things - build roads and sell booze - and it does them both very well.

Since there are no real taxes levied directly by the state, the individual towns are forced to foist onerous property taxes on their inhabitants in order to pay for schools.

[edit] Libertarian takeover

Approximately 505 Libertarians have moved to New Hampshire in the past few years as part of the Free State Project^[2] trying to make New Hampshire a free state by all moving there en masse. Meanwhile, the state's population grew during the same period by 52,000, of whom 51,495 were not related to the Free State Project. This means the new 505 Libertarian voters are offset by 51,495 new non-Libertarian voters, a ratio of about 102 to 1.

[edit] Tourism

The state is a four-season tourist trap, with a strong ski industry, and several annual events of note, including "Bike Week" centered around the speedway in Loudon,^[3] and "Fall", when all the leaves turn pretty colors for a few weeks.

[edit] Who Cares?

• The "Old Man of the Mountain", the state's ubiquitous symbol, fell down.
• Live Free or Die ("oh lord, tell me why" - Bill Morrissey)
• "New Hampshire: Ain't Quaint" (a proposed slogan...)
• Motorcycle riders are not required to wear helmets; "Darwin Awards" wholesale outlets are located on all major highways.
• Our very own nuclear power plant; the highest electricity prices in the nation.
• "First in the nation" Presidential primary tests candidates' and press teams' resistance to pneumonia.
• Yet another misspelled early settlement: Strawbery Banke (now a museum).

[edit] Notable New Hampshirites

• P.J. O'Rourke — writer
• Christa McAuliffe — first teacher in space
• Adam Sandler — actor and stuff
• Tom Rush — folk singer
• Gene Robinson — openly gay bishop
• Jed Bartlett — brilliant, if fictional, President of the United States

[edit] Footnotes

1. ↑ Or at least that's what us Massholes think -- we're probably wrong about that.
2. ↑ http://www.freestateproject.org/
3. ↑ It should be noted that New Hampshire is the only state with no law requiring motorcyclists to wear protective headgear, so part of the enticement is that they can let their fair locks fly free in the wind as they enjoy the picturesque sights and ornery locals.