Texas
From RationalWiki
The State Republic of Texas is an independent country adjacent to in the southern United States.
Famously, six flags have flown over Texas. When pretending to be just a state in the U.S., they are referred to as the "Lone Star State".
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[edit] Texas stuff
Due to having entered the Union under unusual circumstances, as well as a prevailing spirit of plucky individualism, there are a number of Texans who claim that, not only should Texas secede from the greater part of the United States, but that it has a unique right to do so. It is not clear whether or not this right actually exists; that few of its proponents know anything about constitutional law complicates matters significantly.
Texas is square on the top and wiggly along the bottom. Texas exists as a gradient between America and Mexico. The freeway off ramps are made of dirt, and they take you to stores where you can buy rattlesnake wallets and such.
Despite Texas not really being Southern even though it's South of nearly everything else, Waffle Houses have finally crept in like the expanding range of fireants. When not eating chicken fried steak and drinking sweet tea, Texans eat Tex-Mex. And that's it.
[edit] The neighbor to the north
Texas forms the entire southern border of Oklahoma, a notoriously flat and windswept state. Texans hate nearly everything about the north. Since Oklahoma is immediately to the north, Texans especially hate this frying pan-shaped state. Most people believe this is a manifestation of the old saying "familiarity breeds contempt." However, some Okies suspect that this may stem from panhandle envy.
Oklahoma's panhandle, although smaller in actual size than Texas' panhandle, is proportionally more, ur, prominent than Texas' panhandle. If these states were men, a woman would greet Oklahoma by saying "hi there, big boy." She'd smirk at Texas and say "hey, stubby." Deep down, every Texan knows this and they just can't stand it.
Every year during football season, the University of Texas and Oklahoma University play a rivalry game at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas. Through 2008, Texas leads the series 58-40-5. Panhandle envy can go a long way.
Oklahoma is also the place where 50 Democrats from the Texas legislature fled to in 2001. They did this because Republican legislators tried to -- and eventually succeeded at -- gerrymandering the state. Gerrymandering was one of the strategies used by Tom DeLay and Karl Rove in their efforts to create a permanent Republican majority throughout the United States. Which is ironic considering how many Texans believe their state captive nation should secede from the U.S.
[edit] More Texas stuff
- Texas toast is really big toast. Bigger than
French toastfreedom toast. - Texas Rangers are really big rangers.
- The Texas panhandle is a really big (but stubby) panhandle.
- Texas is damn big, although it is smaller than Alaska, where IceWedge and Caribou Barbie live.
- Quote mining SpongeBob indicates that even SpongeBob thinks Texas is stupid.
- Fiddles are a requirement for any band wishing to play in Texas.
- Keep Austin Weird!
- Austin is also notorious for its bats.
[edit] Texan science
[edit] See also
- Thank God for Mississippi!
[edit] Footnotes
| The Bible Belt | |
| Alabama - Arkansas - Florida - Georgia Kansas - Kentucky - Louisiana - Mississippi Missouri - North Carolina - Oklahoma - South Carolina Tennessee - Texas - Virginia - West Virginia - Jesusland |
