California

From RationalWiki

California consists of three states on the West Coast of the United States: Southern California, Northern California, and Los Angeles (which incorporates the fictional location of "Hollywood").

Since a good portion of its territory lies on the "wrong" side of the San Andreas Fault, technically California is an Asian country, not an American one.

Most of California was settled by Hispanic peoples long before the fabled East Coast settlements of Plimoth and Jamestown.

It had legalized gay marriage for a few months in 2008 until the infamous Proposition 8 struck this down; however, Jerry Brown, of "California Über Alles" fame, is right on the job, and he figures that any gay couples who did get married during that time are still married.

Contents 1 California in popular culture 2 Other principal exports 3 Indigenous creatures 4 Weather 5 Customs 6 Common misconceptions

[edit] California in popular culture

• Pretty much all popular culture comes from California.
• California by Tupac
• A shitload more songs: California Dreaming, California Girls, California Man...
• Going back to Cali...I don't think so!
• Movies
• Television

[edit] Other principal exports

• Fruits and nuts
• Surfing!
• Erhard Seminars Training
• Like fer shur, totally!
• U.S. out of Humboldt County!
• Hollywood values
• California, itself, is going to export itself into the Pacific Ocean, if Edgar Cayce's earth changes are to be believed.

[edit] Indigenous creatures

• Der Governator (Technically imported)
• Former Governor who turned President and allegedly reached sainthood.
• Big burly lumberjacks, in the far northern third of the state amongst the redwoods.
• Lots of guys in San Francisco who wish they could meet some of those lumberjacks.
• Silly-Cone Valley
  • Nerds
• Berserkeley
• Hollyweird
• If you have to ask how much it costs to buy a home in San Diego or Marin County, you probably can't afford it...

[edit] Weather

It never almost never rains in southern California. The four California seasons are Drought, Fire, Quake, and Flood.

[edit] Customs

California is the only U.S. state that stops you at the state line, to ask whether you have any produce. They have enough fruits and nuts already and don't want any more. This practice started during the Great Depression, when going through California customs was to keep Okies and Arkies fleeing the dust bowl out of the state, but the ACLU sued and California wound up with a bunch of Okies and Arkies anyway. They had to settle on keeping fruits and nuts out of the state, but they wound up with a bunch of fruits and nuts anyway.

[edit] Common misconceptions

• California consists entirely of beaches.
• Earthquakes, on average, are much more terrifying and destructive than tornadoes, hurricanes, or any other sort of giant swilrly formation of air and clouds.
• Just walking down the street will get one shot.
• All Californians are liberal socialist Democratic bleeding-heart dope-smoking homosexuals with AIDS.
• All of California is Los Angeles.