Rush Limbaugh

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Not be confused with the Canadian band. Please!
They so proudly wear this insignia.
There is a broader, perhaps slightly less biased, article on Wikipedia about Rush Limbaugh

Boss[1] Rush Hudson Limbaugh III (born 12 January 1951, not dead yet) is a radio talk show host, recovering (at least we hope so[2]) drug addict,[3] college drop-out, and political commentator. It is a scat-muncher.[4] Hatched in Cape Girardeau, Missouri, It is a self-described conservative, who discusses politics and current events on his program, The Rush Limbaugh Show. It hit the big time after the Reagan Administration revoked the Fairness Doctrine, and has been credited with reviving AM radio in the United States, and is considered to have been a catalyst for the Republican Party's congressional victories in 1994.

Contents

[edit] Personal life

  • It was eligible for the draft on 12 January 1969. After graduating from high school, It enrolled in college, but dropped out after a year. When Uncle Sam came calling, It somehow got excused from the draft by claiming that It had an anal cyst. Funny thing, the draft continued for more than three years afterward. You'd think It would've gotten that thing lanced in that time. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)
  • Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot, according to a book written by a comedian, SNL actor, and US Senator.[5]
  • Limbaugh has been married and divorced three times. Its third marriage ceremony, in 1994, was officiated by kiss-arse Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and held at Thomas' house. The marriage remains barren.[6]
  • It is also a (recovering) drug addict that narrowly avoided going to prison. So, naturally, it is one of the right wing's most strident voices on the importance of family values.

[edit] Name

Its first name, Rush, comes from Its intense reaction to illegally obtained drugs, namely, oxycodone and hydrocodone.[7]

Its second name "Limbo", indicates both that It is a lost soul and, remarkably, that It has one.

[edit] Status as a conservative

© Mike Stanfill

The radical fundamentalist Christian conservative blog Conservapedia has brought Limbaugh's conservative credentials into question. The penultimate example of this is Limbaugh lacking several significant benefits of holding to a conservative mindset.[8] The most notable benefits[9] missing from Limbaugh are a resistance to addiction, temptation, and obesity. Subsequently, Conservapedia called into question its own credentials.

But what about Limbaugh's stand on the largely defensive weapon of gun???

It claims to be the "prestigious Attila the Hun chair" of the "Limbaugh Institute of Advanced Conservative Studies". Or perhaps it is sitting in it.

It's such a conservative it also made himself look "computer-illiterate".[10][11]

[edit] Rush, political boss

By the spring of 2009, Limbaugh began to be seen as the de facto leader of the Republican party. Following a controversial on-air statement to its own party about "wanting Obama to fail", Limbaugh demanded the balls apologies of two prominent Republicans, Eric Cantor and Michael Steele, for saying Limbaugh's comments were unacceptable.[12] Both promptly apologized.[13] White House spokesman, Robert Gibbs, challenged Republicans to come out and say "Limbaugh is wrong, we do not want this country or the President to fail". To date, no Republican has yet publicly said Limbaugh is wrong, implying who really is in charge of the GOP.

[edit] Political action

None, other than his failed "Operation Chaos" attempt to destroy the Democratic Party in the United States, so move along.

[edit] Notable controversies

  • For some reason, ESPN concluded Limbaugh was the voice of the average NFL fan and hired it to do "color commentary" during the 2004 season (perhaps they confused him with John Madden, a reasonable mistake except that Madden already worked for Disney). This seemed to go well and good, until Limbaugh said Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb was overrated, and claimed that he was lionized because of his race rather than his talent. This cost Limbaugh its job, cementing its reputation as a "big, fat idiot."
  • Limbaugh once told an African-American caller to get the "bone out of his nose" and speak more clearly.
  • Limbaugh was caught returning from the Dominican Republic, a known sex tourism destination, with a mislabeled bottle of Viagra.
  • In September 2007, Limbaugh called soldiers who spoke out against the Iraq War "phony soldiers,"[14] which it quickly denied when progressive bloggers and talkers whipped up a firestorm. Did we mention that it got out of the Vietnam War by claiming that it had an anal cyst? Or perhaps was an anal cyst?
  • Frequently played the racist song "Barack The Magic Negro," and referred to Barack Obama as "Halfrican American."
  • In the early days of its television program, Limbaugh tried to get its dog to urinate on Al Gore's book and pretended to masturbate (holding a pointer) on a photograph of Hillary Clinton.
  • In 1993, Limbaugh implied thirteen-year-old Chelsea Clinton was a dog.
  • Limbaugh compared Barack Obama's style of governing to that of Adolf Hitler.[15] (He was envious.)
  • Promised to leave the country if the Obama driven health care bill [16] passes: "I'll just tell you this, if this passes and it's five years from now and all that stuff gets implemented -- I am leaving the country. I'll go to Costa Rica." [17]

[edit] Nobel Prize nomination

Yes, it was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize in 2007.

However, unlike regular prize contests - like the Academy Awards - where the list of all eligible persons is reduced to a handful of final nominees, any person, institution and/or association may be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize and nomination itself isn't seen as a particular special status. (And they don't have to be all that peaceful, either, considering the prize exists only because of a man who helped make modern warfare possible. For example, Adolf Hitler was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize in 1939,[18] and Joseph Stalin for beating Hitler in 1945.[19]) Consider the people the Nobel Prize committee allows to submit nominations:

  • Members of national assemblies and governments of states;
  • Members of international courts;
  • University rectors; professors of social sciences, history, philosophy, law and theology; directors of peace research institutes and foreign policy institutes;
  • Persons who have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize;
  • Board members of organizations who have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize;
  • Active and former members of the Norwegian Nobel Committee; (proposals by members of the Committee to be submitted no later than at the first meeting of the Committee after February 1); and
  • Former advisers appointed by the Norwegian Nobel Institute.[20]

In other words, any well-connected person with any political agenda may nominate any other person for the Nobel Peace Prize, regardless of whether that other person deserves it. Once the nomination is accepted - and rejections are rare - that person then officially becomes a "Nobel Peace Prize nominee."

[edit] On wit da Show

[edit] "Snerdley"

Limbaugh has nicknamed all of its call screeners "Snerdley." Among the first names given them:

  • Bo
  • Chin Yang
  • Mario
  • Marvin
  • Melva
  • Melvin
  • Mervin

Bo Snerdley is the nickname given to James Golden, the most recognized "Snerdley." Limbaugh's defenders often single out Golden, an African-American, as evidence that Limbaugh is not a racist. After all, their simplistic logic goes, would a racist work so closely with an African-American?

A caller once asked Limbaugh to explain the origin of "Snerdley." He explained that when he was a disc jockey in his hometown, he developed mental blocks while talking on the air. "Snerdley" was a fictitious person inside his head whom he talked to (while still on the air) until the block cleared. Hmmm. Oxycontin or hydrocodone, anyone?

[edit] Annual Thanksgiving story

Of course, you can't be a major right-wing mouthpiece if you don't re-write history to show that lassez faire free market practices always succeed, while collectivism always fails. Such is the case with Limbaugh's annual telling of (his version of) the first American Thanksgiving.[21][22] It was so pleased with this story that it dedicated an entire chapter to it in its second book, See I Told You So.

It's doubtful that Limbaugh researched and wrote this piece itself. It probably came from the Heritage Foundation or some other righty think tank.

[edit] Bibliography

Limbaugh has published two books (crayons sold separately):

There is an attempt at a humorous section in book two: a "politically correct" dictionary, which lists unicorns as an endangered species, as well as the abominable snowman. Both books are an ego trip for Limbaugh, in which it proclaims itself to be the most intelligent individual in the world, etc.

[edit] Rushagrams

  • I hurl gab mush
  • Largish bum, uh?

[edit] See also

[edit] External links

[edit] Humorous

[edit] Footnotes

  1. ↑ In the finest tradition of Boss Tweed.
  2. ↑ Okay, so that's a lie. Most of us probably don't hope so.
  3. ↑ Best of wishes, Rush, from all of us on the Ratwiki team!
  4. ↑ Bill Hicks, Rant In E-Minor, 1997. The relevant track may be heard at this place[1].
  5. ↑ New York Times Bestseller List
  6. ↑ Fortunately - cursed by the baby Jeebus?
  7. ↑ Limbaugh snorts at liberals
  8. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Essay:Conservative_Benefits&curid=53740&diff=366207&oldid=366204
  9. ↑ Aside from lacking any kind of a soul (in both the religious and secular meanings)
  10. ↑ http://mediamatters.org/items/200902130016
  11. ↑ Keith Olbermann said it too!
  12. ↑ http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2009/3/2/13503/89801/65/703693
  13. ↑ "Steele to Rush: I'm sorry" Politico.com
  14. ↑ http://blogs.usatoday.com/onpolitics/2007/10/phony-soldiers-.html
  15. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/06/limbaugh-adolf-hitler-lik_n_253412.html
  16. ↑ Note, Obama has yet to "write" a health care bill. All proposals are being originated in the Congress.
  17. ↑ [http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20000188-503544.html CBS news (Costa Rica has universal, nationalized health care)
  18. ↑ http://nobelprize.org/nomination/peace/nomination.php?action=show&showid=2609
  19. ↑ http://nobelprize.org/nomination/peace/nomination.php?action=show&showid=3323
  20. ↑ http://nobelprize.org/nomination/peace/nominators.html
  21. ↑ See the Wikipedia article on Thanksgiving.
  22. ↑ Transcript from the 2006 reading. Includes a long-winded prologue about his trip to Afghanistan, Ann Coulter, etc.
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