Jesusland

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Jesusland is shown in red; the United States of Logic and Reason in blue.
Jesusland is shown in red; the United States of Logic and Reason in blue.

Jesusland is the name for the 30 U.S. states which voted for George W. Bush in 2004. The name came about after a post-election map showed that the states (excluding Alaska) formed a contiguous block. The name Jesusland was invented to describe the area, to fit the view of it as having an overly Christian population. Which, of course, it does.

Contents

[edit] Geography

Jesusland is flat, except where it is bumpy with mountains, with a climate that has never changed since its creation in 4004 BCE (see below). Its main life forms are corn, cattle, and hogs. The capital city is Crawford, Texas - the birthplace of George W. Bush. The country is sometimes referred to as "Dumbfuckistan", but not by its residents.

The cities of Sodom and Gomorrah have incorporated themselves into a single larger city: Las Vegas, Nevada.

[edit] Climate

HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

[edit] People

God gave Jesusland to the whites, who adopted the Bible as their constitution. Then they grew lots of corn. In order to keep themselves pure in the sight of God, they are only allowed to marry their own relatives. Jesuslanders have a varied diet, including corn dogs, corn beer and cornburgers.

[edit] Economy

Jesusland has a diverse economy. Its main exports are corn, religious zealots, and holy crusaders to go pacify the infidel states. One of Jesusland's main natural resources is rich white men in cowboys hats.

[edit] Religion

The main religion in Jesusland is Reaganism. Their principle deity and savior is Ronald Reagan.

[edit] History

It is now!

[edit] Culture

  • NASCAR racin'
  • Cock fightin'
  • Pit bull fightin'
  • Bug zappin'
  • Pitch forkin'
  • Billy Ray Cyrus singin'
  • The Waltons - TV showin' or Walmart founin', as to which it matters not
  • Old Glory wavin'
  • Shootin' things
  • Sheep lovin'
  • Killin' Muslims
  • Queer chasin'(And lots of queer beatin' too!)
  • Hatin' ferners -- fancypants college boys call it "zee-no-foebya."
  • Lynchin' uppity negroids.
  • Human rights abusin'
  • Incest doin'
  • Jesus lovin'
  • Keepin' nutty ole Cousin Zeke locked in the basement, only cuz there ain't no room for him and Gramma Tizzie in the attic.
  • Endangered species exterminatin'
  • Polictically incorrect joke tellin'
  • Stoppin' durn minorities from votin'
  • Fightin' to win when doin' Civil War War of Northern Aggression reenactments.
  • MAKES ME A SAMMICH BITCH. PRAISE JESUS.

[edit] Neighboring countries

Mexico lies to the south, and the United States of Canada (Canada plus the 19 reality-believing infidel states) to the west, north and northeast.

[edit] Global warming

Despite the political coloration of the map on this page, as global warming continues, many of the so-called red states on the Jesusland Map will become blue one way or another.

[edit] See also

Retrieved from "http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Jesusland"
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