Monarchy
From RationalWiki
Monarchy is the vestment of State power in one person. Monarchs are usually known as kings or queens. This is distinguished from a dictatorship, however, in that there are limits on the ruler's powers, either in the form of a body of nobles who have some claims on the monarchy (as in much of feudal Europe), or in the form of a parliament that the monarch is actually subservient to (as in modern European constitutional monarchies). Usually, monarchies are hereditary - the descendants of the kings (and sometimes queens) are born to rule. This hereditary factor can lead to problems, since the ruling family (or families) tend to interbreed a bit too closely for genetic comfort.
Monarchy was considered the greatest form of government by the philosopher Aristotle, though he considered its corruption (tyranny) to be worse. He also believed that flies had four legs and that eels bred from discarded horse tail hairs.
It should be noted that, despite the general revulsion towards most forms of strong monarchy in the modern world, it was a very successful form for most of history. Moreover, despite its connections to rightism, there have been plenty of liberal monarchs, such as Juan Carlos II of Spain.
[edit] Monarchy in Britain
The British Royal Family derive their right to rule on account of being descended from the Norse god Woden. They have evolved into the perfect genotype for a modern monarch, being neither intelligent enough to think they can run the country, nor stupid enough to think they can run the country. They're not bright enough to rule but they can see they're not up to it. Prince Charles is a possible exception as he often expresses his worthless views on all matters despite being so stupid that a special degree had to be designed for him to take at Cambridge. He is a great supporter of homeopathy. Many modern British monarchs have compensated for their superfluity in all things except the opening of bridges etc. by "displacement activities".
George III, whilst considered at the time to have been mad, is now thought to have suffered from a skin disease called porphyria which caused him extreme discomfort. This however fails to explain why, in the course of a country walk, he addressed a tree in the mistaken belief that it was the King of Prussia - a nation also renowned for the mental instabilty of its ruling classes.
Edward VII mostly spent his time fornicating, drinking, and smoking. (Win!)
George V apparently spent all his time stamp collecting, shooting at birds and shouting at passersby from the windows of Buckingham Palace, who he believed to be plotting a Bolshevik Revolution.
George VI mostly just drank and smoked, causing his early death. At George VI's time the link between smoking and lung cancer was not known. This preserved the monarchy by handing the Crown over to a young queen, who has already outlived Queen Victoria and will pass the throne to Prince Charles (known as George VII)[citation needed] when he himself is in his dotage, which has already commenced. Upon this occurrence, Australia intends to renounce the whole crank notion of monarchy.
[edit] Royal etiquette
According to the most influential commentary on the modern British Constitution, Monty Python's Brand New Papperbok (sic), it is advised never to say to the Queen:
"You don't look like you do on the stamps!"
Even if it's true.
