Naked

From RationalWiki

Naked is an album by the Talking Heads.

The word was also appended to the title of the Beatles album Let It Be upon its remastered, Paul McCartney-approved rerelease.

It refers to the state of being undraped or unadorned. When people are naked, you can see their naughty bits — unless they strike a coy pose.

Former Attorney General of the United States John Ashcroft famously objected to a statue called Spirit of Justice outside the Justice Department and tried to get it denakedified. What a prude.

[edit] God and nakedness

God made us so that heterosexual men find women’s naughty bits extremely attractive. And God made us so that heterosexual women find men’s naughty bits extremely attractive. And God made us so that gay men and women find the naughty bits of their own sex extremely attractive. And God said we’re not supposed to get excited about naughty bits until we’re married. And we’re not supposed to get excited about our own naughty bits ever. Some prudish Christians think we shouldn’t get too excited over naughty bits even in marriage.

Presumably, when God made humanity, he subcontracted out the reproductive parts to Satan.

[edit] Monks and nuns and nakedness

Roman Catholic priests, monks, and nuns aren’t supposed to ever do anything with their naughty bits, because a spoilsport pope said so. If they find that frustrating, they’re just supposed to be miserable to please God. Not all priests, monks, and nuns have the will power to do that. For example:

• Here’s what a nun’s naughty bit looks like. And there's a monk to please the ladies.
  This one works as desktop background but leaves a space.
  
• Here’s a monk and a nun almost naked.
  This one is the right shape for a desktop background. And it's not clear if he's doing her vagina or her bottom. Getting her pregnant would mean a terrible penance.

Neither are protected by copyright laws.