User talk:Yossarian

*Tries to remember suitable quote...*
*Fails*
Oh well. Welcome to RW, anyway. :) <font=""; face="Comic Sans MS">Jellyfish!^{Make me a bureaucrat!} 19:03, 30 August 2008 (EDT)

What is going on? World Blogs Clogs Elections The Bar (talk) (talk) (talk) (talk) (hic) Welcome to RationalWiki, Yossarian! Check out our guide for newcomers and our community standards! Tell us how you found RationalWiki here! If you are interested in contributing: Read what our articles are intended to be Check out the to-do list See our help page and Wikipedia's formatting cheatsheet If writing a new article, consider writing up a draft And most importantly: Pull up a goat and have some fun!

Hi Yossie! I see you didn't have a welcome template, so I gave you one. Radioactive afikomen ^{Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments.} 00:05, 2 September 2008 (EDT)

Thank you! :) -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 00:09, 2 September 2008 (EDT)

"What is the collective noun for denizens of RW?"

"RationalWikians" seems to be the most popular. I tried to coin "RatWives" a while back -- mainly for use in the Forbidden Zone -- but it didn't stick :( <font=""; face="Comic Sans MS">Jellyfish!^{Make me a bureaucrat!} 20:38, 30 August 2008 (EDT)

"Goatse" ħuman 00:15, 2 September 2008 (EDT)

Signature

I'm pleased to lend my assistance; give me a second and I'll take a look at it for you. I've had this problem before, and it turned out to be pretty knotty back then, so I'm not sure how much use I can be.
Oh, and I'm using an auxillery account because I just blocked myself for five days. I have legendary powers of poor timing. Marginally Less Chaos!^Audacity! 06:39, 31 August 2008 (EDT)

Thank you muchly, erstwhile Jellyfish. ;) -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR}

I removed a couple of carriage returns from inside the Choose template (which has occassionally worked for me even though it's completely illogical). Can you try your sig with the date so I can see the effect? Marginally Less Chaos!^Audacity! 07:22, 31 August 2008 (EDT)

I do believe I can. -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 07:24, 31 August 2008 (EDT)

Hmmm...it didn't like it, then it did, then it didn't...it was wrong on the preview, but correct when I actually posted. Then it was wrong when I added the strike-through to the "darn"...wtf? -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR}

HMMM...seems like it doesn't like certain variations of the text. It's okay when it displays the "upside down" text, but not when it displays the "speak, memory" one...hmmmmmmm.... --Y

I thought I had it then -- you'd arranged your talk page link so that the font tags were both inside and outside the link code (if that explanation makes any sense). However, tidying that up doesn't seem to have fixed it. Let me try something else... Marginally Less Chaos!^Audacity! 07:37, 31 August 2008 (EDT)

Yes, that does make sense...I also tried shuffling some stuff, but it came to nothing. But somehow the upside down one works...what method lies in this madness?! Anyway, I ought to go to bed (it totally isn't 4:30am here...nope, not even CLOSE), but thank you for your continued help! I'll see if things have improved tomorrow morning. -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR}

Alright, I'll see you later then. I think I might have an idea what's causing it... Marginally Less Chaos!^Audacity! 07:46, 31 August 2008 (EDT)

Convenient test section

--Yossie^{Spring in Fialta} 07:24, 31 August 2008 (EDT)

--Yossie^{Spring in Fialta} 07:24, 31 August 2008 (EDT)

--Yossie^{Spring in Fialta} 07:24, 31 August 2008 (EDT)

--Yossie^{Spring in Fialta} 07:24, 31 August 2008 (EDT)

--Yossie^{Spring in Fialta} 07:24, 31 August 2008 (EDT)

I win!!

Take that, inconvenient coding conventions!
And now I must sleep, to prevent my brain collapsing into a neat pile of dust. Marginally Less Chaos!^Audacity! 07:55, 31 August 2008 (EDT)

Welcome to the Dollhouse! You're one of my favorite fictional characters. ħuman 00:12, 2 September 2008 (EDT)

Dammit!

When I saw "Yossarian" I thought "Major Major Major Major" would be a perfect username for somewhere, but you beat me to it. Maybe "Doc Daneeka" then. Corry^{Mom signed me up for the army, just because the fat man dared her to.} 07:08, 2 September 2008 (EDT)

Demotion

I have a confession to make, dear Yossie: I have done something unspeakably horrible; I made you a sysop.

I'd give you bucket and mop, but we have a glut of floor cleaners already. Would you like some Lysol cleaner? Radioactive afikomen ^{Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments.} 20:09, 13 September 2008 (EDT)

Damn you to the bowels of hell, good sir! Also, I use Mr. Clean. I assume this position comes with a raise. Right? -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 05:00, 14 September 2008 (EDT)

(Edit conflict, Hulk SMASH) It's double what you got before. Also, don't only conservapedia sysops assume the position? Totnesmartin 05:09, 14 September 2008 (EDT)

They do indeed. But it's missionary and only twice a month. -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 05:22, 14 September 2008 (EDT)

Yes, but it's in the form of, uh, intangible benefits. Radioactive afikomen ^{Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments.} 05:05, 14 September 2008 (EDT)

So, like, metafits? -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 05:07, 14 September 2008 (EDT)

Yah! Radioactive afikomen ^{Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments.} 05:11, 14 September 2008 (EDT)

Sweet. -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 05:22, 14 September 2008 (EDT)

^_^

I liked "People George" as well, actually. I suppose your fingers just really wanted to type the "eo" bit from George. They got a little carried away :) Pink_{(Astronomy Domine)} 07:26, 16 September 2008 (EDT)

My enthusiasm for George is understandably great! I kinda like it, too, actually. Maybe "People George" is his revolutionary nom de guerre. He is, after all, a man of the purple. -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 07:31, 16 September 2008 (EDT)

Email

Would you please enable your email? I have a Very Important Message to send you. Radioactive afikomen ^{Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments.} 04:07, 8 October 2008 (EDT)

A VIM! Of course! -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 04:16, 8 October 2008 (EDT)

I am enabled, email away. -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 04:22, 8 October 2008 (EDT)_{Hopefully it will work...the reason it didn't work before was because I had a comma instead of a period in it...:P}

Good, good. Prepare to be spammed! : ) Radioactive afikomen ^{Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments.} 04:32, 8 October 2008 (EDT)

Spam spam spam spam, spam spam spam spam...-- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 04:33, 8 October 2008 (EDT)

Teh image in yor userbocks

[[Image:CheGueschlafly.png|200px|center|<choose><option>Our tireless benefactor</option><option>Our fearless leader</option></choose>]] The only way to attach a caption to an un thumbed picture is like I've done on "our" page: using Divs. 04:40, 13 January 2009 (EST)

Oh, I know. I just want it to be a little hidden scroll over text thing, if that makes any sense. -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 04:42, 13 January 2009 (EST)

Crat!

Dear Yossarian,

It is my sincere regret to inform you that you have been further demoted to the rank of Bureaucrat. As such, you are encouraged to read the guide, and again, I have pity on you.

Warm regards

ĴάΛäšςǍ₰ no really.

MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOUL, JAVA'S CAP IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?! YOU SHALL RUE THE DAY, MONSIEUR! RUE. THE. DAY.

My sincerest thanks. -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 14:29, 14 February 2009 (EST)

You're clueless

I've switched in the new version of teh a-fly's quote machine.

"Yossie", give it up. I've managed to read your rants and noticed you draw a silly distinction between sheep and goats (which I've reverted), so there's a 95% chance you're trying to spread socialist propaganda. Denying this calls into question all of your credibility on the fact that cremating heretics helps resist murder. Whatever the mainstream media might say, a Muslim] name indicates a high probably that the person is Muslim, due to a high correlation between Muslim names and being Muslim. Request a change to your real first name and last initial or your account will be blocked.--Andy Schlafly 12:41, 27 April 2024 (UTC)

That was a test.--Kriss Akabusi^{AAAAWOOOOGAAAR!!1} 16:17, 20 February 2009 (EST)

Unfortunately the quote machine is out of date. Teh Schlafurher now signs himself "Andy Schlafly". Генгис^{Our ignorance is God; what we know is science.} 16:22, 20 February 2009 (EST)

Excellent! Step one in the construction of Schlafsimile is complete! -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 16:24, 20 February 2009 (EST)

Come on down!

УОЅЅДЯЇДИ, you are the next contestant on The Conservapedia Game Show! --Irrational Atheist 14:06, 8 March 2009 (EDT)

I see everything twice!

Catch 22 is a great book, finished it the other day. My favourite character by far was the chaplain funnily enough. The scene where the Colonel compares the plum tomatoe to a young girls breasts was priceless! MarcusCicero 17:43, 3 April 2009 (EDT)

I read it when I was 13, and it pretty much changed my outlook on life. I've read it four times, in and out of order (so you can see why my handle would be appropriate, lol). My favourite bit is Clevinger's trial, just for sheer laughs. I'd have to read it again to tell you other favourite bits, but that one has always stood out for me. Also the beuatiful description of how much effort Yossarian put into not constructing the officer's club. -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 19:47, 3 April 2009 (EDT)

Emblems

Howd'you like the national bird, flower & saint? _and marmite 03:07, 10 April 2009 (EDT)

I thought it was brilliant, especially the saint. What did you think of "The Suspiciously Benign Theocracy"? :) -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 03:13, 10 April 2009 (EDT)

At the risk of sounding like a Mutual Admiration Society, Excellent! _and marmite

(I liked the Booby best) _and marmite

and you no doubt noticed the "Chief Archivist". _and marmite 04:03, 10 April 2009 (EDT)

I did indeed! -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 06:26, 10 April 2009 (EDT)

What seems to be the problem

with your signature? -- Nx / talk 07:58, 25 April 2009 (UTC)

Oh, it was treating the time stamp as a line break, thus causing all sorts of insanity. Now it won't let me have the <choose> tag without doing that... :'( --Yossie^{Spring in Fialta} 08:01, 25 April 2009 (UTC)

It's the whitespace between the option tags, same problem as Assquote had. -- Nx / talk 08:04, 25 April 2009 (UTC)

Oh yeah! That's the ticket. Thanks! Did we get an upgrade or something today? I've been in transit for the last 6.5 hours. --Yossie^{Spring in Fialta} 08:07, 25 April 2009 (UTC)

You missed all the fun :) Read this, this, and this -- Nx / talk 08:11, 25 April 2009 (UTC)

Oooo! I did miss the fun! Hmm...your solution did not seem to help my sig, so I had to revert it back to the stationary form. --Yossie^{Spring in Fialta} 08:12, 25 April 2009 (UTC)

Strange. I've got to go now, so I can't help you, but Human's signature is working, take a look at that. -- Nx / talk 08:17, 25 April 2009 (UTC)

I think I know what the problem is, I'm fixing it now, don't edit your sig. --  Nx/talk  10:21, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

There, fixed it. To restore complete randomness (right now it's random, but the same on one page view), change your sig in preferences and add an empty parameter section, like this: {{User:Example/sig|}}. You can also make the images link anywhere with link=, e.g. [[Image:Andy.gif|link=Andy]] --  Nx/talk  10:28, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

Ah! Thank you muchly, it was driving me nuts. I owe you an Internet. --Yossie^{Spring in Fialta} 10:32, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

You're welcome. --  Nx/talk  10:35, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

Ta!

Thanks for cleaning up after me. _& marmite^chat 13:24, 8 November 2009 (UTC)

No worries! Just thought I'd Russify Rob's name a touch further. --Yossie^{Spring in Fialta} 18:59, 8 November 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, but Jinx has it wrong

You claimed Jinx McHue - his name forever be damned! - wrote about women submitting, but he's just another phony Christian. I found the essay on his blog you were talking about and he dares claim that men must submit to women more than women must submit to men. That's a lie borne in the fires of HELL!!!! Someday he'll be submitting his pathetic, tight little backside to demons when he's cast into those same fires someday. SoldierInGodsArmy 22:08, 9 November 2009 (UTC)

Jinx, curséd be his name, is-- ...er, actually, I just wanted to curse Jinx's name. --Yossie^{Spring in Fialta} 10:26, 10 November 2009 (UTC)

Welcoem

Welcome to MeiWiki, Yossarian. Please see this political leaflet and this badge of support, which you should adopt as soon as possible. Vote for Mei.

Ask Mei for maps if you are lost. Mei has maps. -- =w= 05:18, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

If you tell me how you got the custom user page logo, I just might follow your insane coup d'etat well thought out plan. --Yossie^{Spring in Fialta} 08:42, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

I asked nx but I don't think he wants to give out any more. Its all code and code shouldnt be encouraged. -- =w= 04:20, 21 November 2009 (UTC)

By no means do I encourage/endorse code. --Yossie^{Spring in Fialta} 01:38, 22 November 2009 (UTC)

CheGueschlafly image

Comrade. The party is pleased by your revolutionary artwork. I'm attaching bourgeois copyright notices to the images, and need to confirm something: Did you create CheGueschlafly.png and Chelafly.png images? If so, were you attaching any licence to them? --^{Ask me about your mother} 11:20, 20 December 2009 (UTC)

I did indeed create them, comrade. I guess whatever the most up to date creative commons license is. --ԿՕՏՏՃՐԼՃՈ^{Strong Opinions} 07:28, 21 December 2009 (UTC)

The people shall remember your contribution to the glorious struggle. Thank you. --^{Ask me about your mother} 07:42, 21 December 2009 (UTC)

Vive la revolution! --_{sloqɯʎs puɐ suƃıs}uɐɪɹɐssoʎ 07:47, 21 December 2009 (UTC)

In the antipodes its 1.04 past midnight

All the staff at McWicked Co. wish you a merry christmas.

On the west coast it's 04:08! Merry Acemas! -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 12:08, 24 December 2009 (UTC)

Your signature...

...is missing a </font> tag, as everything following it on a page is in the Arial face. ListenerX^TalkerX 04:07, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

Weird...I'll have a look. --User:Yossarian22:32, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

Are you positive it's mine? All the ones with Arial font in my sig page seem to have the proper </font> tag. Which one is doing it? EDIT: I'm assuming it's not affecting sigs, since I just looked at the LJ page, and there are lots of fonts besides Arial in signatures beyond my sig. Is it just affecting the unadulterated wiki text? If so, that's probably why I haven't noticed, since that's my default... -- Yossarian^{The Man from the USSR} 22:46, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

Lindisfarne Jumper voting

Ello there. You voted in the famous Lumpy Jerboa bi-election, but there's some confusion as to who voted and who just commented. If you only intended to comment, can you modify your post on the RationalWiki:May 2010 Loya Jirga by-elections by adding a strikethrough tag to it? e.g.

<s>My earlier comment</s>

You can leave your post as is if you were actually voting.

ConcernedResident ^{bat for the ladies} 09:04, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

In a puff of smoke

I still owe you an email, don't I? Pink_{(Embarrassed and forgetful)} 03:10, 9 May 2011 (UTC)

This is not incorrect! --Yossarian^{Speak, Memory} 20:42, 9 May 2011 (UTC)

Project Email will begin presently. Godspeed. Pink_{(Is a perfectly acceptable colour)} 18:42, 10 May 2011 (UTC)

Yossarian in Cyrillic

Your username in Cyrillic characters would be: "Йоссариан" --Eira ^{OMTG! _{The Goat be Praised.}} 01:34, 27 May 2011 (UTC)

Oh, yes yes. I knew that; I was referring to the Armenian form of my sig. I'm strangely well versed in Cyrillic for someone who speaks no Russian...but thanks anyway! --Yossarian^{Speak, Memory} 09:50, 27 May 2011 (UTC)

Oh, duh... ok, I found two possible transliterations: either "Յոսսառիան" or "Յօսսառիան". I've not been able to distinguish between the two, because there are two characters for non-word-initial "o", and both versions result in a transliteration of "Yossarian". I've also been unable to find any Armenian text that refers to either version as well. --Eira ^{OMTG! _{The Goat be Praised.}} 13:50, 27 May 2011 (UTC)

Wow, thanks! Way to go above and beyond. I tried to find an excerpt of Catch-22 in Armenian long ago, but no such luck. I like the first one, at least from an aesthetic point of view. Armenian is best when it looks like a series of lowercase 'U's and 'N's. --Yossarian^{Speak, Memory} 21:41, 27 May 2011 (UTC)

Well, you're definitely on to something, as Google (thinking itself extremely clever) gave English results for "Yossarian" for both variants. --Yossarian^{Speak, Memory} 21:43, 27 May 2011 (UTC)

I think it's a matter of Google not finding anything for the Armenian itself, and thus transliterating it, and doing a search on that. I've seen Google do that a few times before. I'm not actually sure "Yossarian" is an actual Armenian name. The book claims that he's Assyrian, but Assyrian being a Semetic language doesn't allow "Yossarian" in its phonology. Working under the assumption that it's pseudo-Armenian, I would suggest going with the first one that I presented, as the "o" character is the older glyph, rather than the newer glyph. ("newer" being relative... it's still older than either of us, I'm sure.) --Eira ^{OMTG! _{The Goat be Praised.}} 22:32, 27 May 2011 (UTC)

I've long suspected it's a fake name that Heller threw together, or at least a misremembered one. I know in the sequel there's a joke about how he was an Armenian pretending to be an Assyrian. Anyway, I think I will go with the "older" character! --Yossarian^{Speak, Memory} 23:05, 27 May 2011 (UTC)

Yossie

Hey there buddy. Don't see you around much anymore. Hows it all going? Ace^Moderator 22:10, 2 May 2012 (UTC)

Heya, Ace! I'm doin' alright. Working on a theatre project and trying to find writing work (or any work, really). Yeah, I've unfortunately been a bit scarce on the RW, but I like to keep an eye on things, especially over at CP. I appreciate the shout out! Hope all's well with you. --Yossarian^{Speak, Memory} 22:43, 2 May 2012 (UTC)

yeah things is OK. Ace^Moderator 22:44, 2 May 2012 (UTC)

Your sig

...is broken because due to the upgrade it is automatically substed in. Trent is refusing to fix that. Peter ^{Rapidly running out of marmite} 06:28, 4 September 2012 (UTC)

I thought it might be something like that. Thanks for the info! --Yossarian^{Speak, Memory} 07:20, 4 September 2012 (UTC)