Cocaine

From RationalWiki

Cocaine is a drug refined from the coca plant. In its refined form, it presents as a white powder at one end of a rolled-up hundred dollar bill, of which the other end is attracted to one's nostril.

Ingestion of cocaine results in euphoria, general power-tripping, but, sadly, eventual psychosis.

Cocaine can also be chemically manipulated to make "free base", which can be smoked, although danger to your polyester shirt becomes an issue. Likewise, it can also be processed into a smokable "rock" form known as "crack" cocaine, possession of which carries one hundred times the penalty of the powder version. This is because responsible white businessmen snort the powder version in order to promote the American ideal as go-getters, whereas ghetto-dwelling Bad People smoke the rock version, in order to better groove to the rap song "You're in teh Ghetto because you are inferior".

Cocaine can also be used as a local anesthetic. If your tooth hurts, get a little and rub it your gum, while waiting for your dentist appointment.

Once upon a time, the "real" Coke (Coca Cola) truly was "the pause that refreshes", since its active ingredients were cocaine and the kola extract, caffeine. Bottles of the "real Coke" are now most likely held in private collections, much as old bottles of wine, or classic stashes of chronic, to be gently consumed and enjoyed by connoisseurs.

Cocaine (or, in reality, the raw leaf of the coca plant) is also known as Bolivian Marching Powder.

[edit] Also see

• Rogaine (not)
• Propane (huh?)
• Eric Clapton