Conservapedia:Open Mind

From RationalWiki

For the RationalWiki mainspace article, see Open mind

Being open minded is an important trait to retain if you are ever to become a successful editor at Conservapedia.

When surfin' Conservapedia, you may notice that site founder Andrew Schlafly is frequent in his criticisms of the evil forces that be as "closed-minded." He has written an essay on the subject of open mindedness, and searching "open mind" Schlafly and restricting the results to talk pages finds 41 pages of spiffing examples^[1] of liberal closed-mindedness and Mr. Schlafly's family-friendly suggestions for them to "open their mind."

[edit] Examples of openmindedness

An open mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarred and unguarded.

According to Mr. Schlafly,^[2] the open-minded person must, i.a. (Mr Schlafly's penchant for negatives may make some of these initially hard to grasp.):

• Not resist the possibility that Hollywood values harm innocent bystanders.
• Not think it impossible for the Shroud of Turin to be authentic.
• Not think it impossible that the speed of light varied in the past.
• Not think it impossible that instead of being proportional to 1 / r², gravitational force is actually proportional to 1 / r^2.00000001.^[3]
• Not resist admitting that their schoolteachers knowingly lied to them.
• Not think it impossible to measure openmindedness.

Furthermore, if the person spent less than an hour deliberating on each of these points, the person is not open-minded.

[edit] Examples of Mr. Schlafly requesting open-mindedness

• Be open minded and admit that abortion causes breast-cancer!^[4]
• Be open minded and admit that the arguments for an old earth are a bunch of bunk!^[5]
• Be open minded and admit that gun control has led to socialism and genocide!^[6]
• Be open minded and admit that homeschooling doesn't have to take place at home!^[7]
• Be open minded and admit that some nations, some languages, some religions are superior to others!^[8]
• Be open minded and admit that Mark^img (and possibly John^img) wrote the Gospels when they were still children, and, also, were homeschooled by Jesus!

[edit] Examples of other Conservapedians requesting openmindedness

• TK: Be open-minded and admit that Obama was born in Kenya!^[9]

[edit] How to be open minded

If you have a problem with anything on Conservapedia, conservatism, or the general right wing, American-exceptionalist, Christian viewpoint as a whole, you are most likely a closed-minded liberal deceit-meister.

So, to keep an "open mind" when reading Conservapedia you must ignore any ounce of pesky rationality you feel in your body and simply blindly accept their take on anything and everything realise that Conservapedia is the way forward.

[edit] External links

A great YouTube video on what it means to be "open-minded"

[edit] See Also

• Open mind
• Essay:Quantifying Openmindedness

[edit] Footnotes

1. ↑ http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Special:Search&ns1=1&redirs=1&search=%22open+mind%22+Schlafly&limit=50&offset=0^img
2. ↑ cp:Essay:Quantifying Openmindedness
3. ↑ We should note that it's 1 / r² not because 2 is a round and convenient number but because of how the law is caculated from base principles. This is therefore akin to saying that if you have an open mind, you must think that it's possible for 2 + 2 to equal 4.00000001.
4. ↑ http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk%3AAbortion&diff=645385&oldid=645328^img
5. ↑ http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk%3AMoon&diff=341804&oldid=341803^img
6. ↑ http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk%3AGun_control&diff=604283&oldid=604269^img
7. ↑ http://conservapedia.com/Talk:Main_Page/archive62^img
8. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:World_History_Lecture_Nine&diff=649605&oldid=649602^img
9. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Main_Page&diff=next&oldid=688656^img (Probable parody)