User talk:Ace McWicked

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Killing

Ooh oh, Btw, after the discussion about brugmansia I thought of the most awesome way to kill someone you really REALLY hate. So you kidnap them, give them the Bond-baddie talk, and then you soak a brugmansia leaf, 5 castor beans, and about 1mg (yes, milligram) of Bromodragonfly, and a good amount of rohypnol (or similar short-acting hypnotic) in warm water for about an hour. Then you filter the mix, and draw the filtrate into a large syringe. Explain the victim's fate, and then jam the cunt with the needle. After about 10 mins they pass out, so you dump them in the trunk and then drive them into the middle of the largest forest you can find and ditch them. By the time they wake up the brugmansia and BDF will have kicked in and so they'll be having the most horrifically disturbing visions and nightmares for two days, alone, in the middle of the woods. And the castor beans will kill them before the effects wear off, so they won't be able to squeal to the cops even if they get found.

What do you reckon? It's all good, no? Crundy^{Talk nerdy to me} 22:42, 24 January 2010 (UTC)

Interesting plan however the burgmansia on its own can kill someone. When I was a young fool my one (and only) experiment with datura/burmansia resulted in a friend turning blue, fitting and foaming at the mouth. I was of course unaware of this due to looking for the cigarette I kept thinking I had dropped and then having a long conversation with the wall. He was lucky his sister came home or else he would have croaked it. Horrid shit.

When I was in Crete this guy who worked in a resturant would keep approaching me with plans to kill the local mayor who he percieved to have stolen his girlfriend. I would be walking along the beach and he'd come running out screaming "New Zealand! Hey, New Zealand! I have the most wonderful plan!" we'd spend many hours drinking and concocting strange murder methods. His favourite was to glue the guys hands to his steering wheel and his feet to the accelerator in his convertable BMW, then we'd throw molotav cocktails into his vehicle as he rounded a bend. Aceⁱ⁹ 03:38, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

Hahahahahaha, I remember your foray into datura, the matriach was less than impressed.Rad McCool (talk) 03:46, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

Frotting

So, uh... does that work? Just curious... SJ ^Debaser 11:35, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

Imagine mutual masturbation, but it involves rubbing thingies together. Either the guys can hump eachother's sticks, or they can put them together and, well... instead of rubbing one out, they rub two out... at the same time. It's how gay people have sex without actually having sex. Sorry to intrude on a question directed at you, Ace, just thought I'd share my awesome frot knowledge. -Redback^G'day 11:44, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

Yes, I very graphically learnt about it here t'other day when Ace was kind enough to post a certain cartoon of two gay men in mutual, self-assisted masturbation. SJ ^Debaser 11:48, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

I saw that, then I saw it again at WP:Frot. -Redback^G'day 11:51, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

from the French word Frottage - rubbing

It's not just a gay thing. A lot of frottage goes on in crowded underground/subway trains. I've lost count of the number of hard cocks that I've felt digging into my backside going to work in the rush hour.  Lily ^{Inspirate me.} 15:08, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

It's quite a girl:girl thing - possibly more than boy:boy? ^{I have just eaten} _& stilton^talk 15:14, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

Girls can also frot - think of a pair of scissors. Aceⁱ⁹ 19:06, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

You're telling me? ^{I have just eaten} _& stilton^talk 19:08, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

(EC) Although that is called tribadism instead. ListenerX^TalkerX 19:09, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

Has anyone told Ed about this? ^{— Sincerely, Neveruse / Talk / Block} 19:11, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

Jesus fucking Christ...I should have known... ^{— Sincerely, Neveruse / Talk / Block} 19:13, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

Almost scary that we can't out-Ed creepy Ed, isn't it? ħuman 00:50, 26 January 2010 (UTC)

I've got half the wiki talking about gay sex. I think my job here is done... SJ ^Debaser 19:14, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

We should change the name to GayWiki. Aceⁱ⁹ 19:16, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

Or RationalWanki. SJ ^Debaser 19:22, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

ReciprocalWanki. ^{— Sincerely, Neveruse / Talk / Block} 19:23, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

tittybanging would be Frottage. Just to de-gay the discussion a little. Hamster (talk) 19:25, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

Welcome Message

Thanks for the heart rending welcome, and now I know what happened to my other door.Little Bobby Oppenheimer (talk) 00:27, 26 January 2010 (UTC)

Ow!

I stuck my pinkie in your ear. ħuman 08:09, 26 January 2010 (UTC)

Pinkie = Cock? Crundy^{Talk nerdy to me} 21:22, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

Re: Welcome

Thank you for the friendly welcome. I probably won't be spending a whole lot of time here, but I figured I should get this out. The audacity of asking for donations while living in such an affluent home is astounding. I had a quick glance at your user page and I am happy to be in such good company. I am also a gun owner. --Pachavi (talk) 01:56, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

I do enjoy guns. Aceⁱ⁹ 01:57, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

Gun owners unite! --User:Theautocrat/Sig 02:00, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

Beer

Yeah, you want it don't you?

So here's a sneak preview of your Ace bottle. I know you want it bad, but you have to stop slagging off people from the United Republic Of Englandistan before you can have it. By the way, I was curious about the slight honey hint the beer has, and was met with the largest backlash ever from the homebrew community about how that's how 'proper' beer should taste because of all the spraymalt I used. Crundy^{Talk nerdy to me} 21:21, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

As I explained to Toast - its not just "a Brit" I dislike but the society as a whole. Drove me nuts. So sue me. Aceⁱ⁹ 21:32, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

What was it specifically? Was it that everyone kept asking you if you were Australian? Crundy^{Talk nerdy to me} 21:36, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

P.S. How come you're online but not on Skype? Crundy^{Talk nerdy to me} 21:39, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

The accents, the fat pasty children everywhere, the jingoistic mutants at the pub, the queuing for everything, the scouse's, the television, the insistence of having Big Brother on 24 hours a day and then having it headline news, the rubbish cocaine, the inefficiency, the complaining if it being too hot, too cold, too snowing, not snowing enough, the British tourists fouling up my Cretan beach resort, "Hiya ya-right?", "'foopbawl!", the obesity, the teenage pregancy, the scags, slags, celebrity obsessed reality show watching bags of flesh. etc etc etc...No skype - I am at work. Aceⁱ⁹ 21:44, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

(UI)Hmm, let's break that down:

• The accents: Which accent in particular? I mena if you stayed in Birmingham or Newcastle then I agree. Otherwise what would you have against the accent?
• Fat pasty children: Oh I agree. Childhood obesity is reaching obscene levels here. We have a despicable attitude towards food and I'd love to be able to change that, but look at what happened to Jamie Oliver when he tried
• Mutants at the pub: Were you staying in Norfolk? If so then I can only apologise, otherwise you're going to have to explain
• Queueing: What's your point? We're British, we queue politely. You can be a French asshole and jump to the front if you like, but you will get glares!
• The Scouses: You can have that one. We have a scouse at work called Ken. Even he hates Liverpool. Everyone hates Liverpool.
• TV: What's wrong with UK TV? We have some awesome comedy programes
• Big Brother: Yup, I agree. Not for long though. Last BB is this year :)
• Coke: We are quite a way from Columbia and Cuba you know
• Weather: We have shit weather, we hate it, we bitch about it. Get over it
• Beach resort: Fuck off. If you think you're going to have a good time at a beach resort then you're either a chav or a moron who knows nothing about UK geography. We have many unspoilt beaches with nice shops and good seafood, but the tourists have no knowledge of them
• "Hiya ya-right?", "'foopbawl!": Is this another accent thing?
• Obesity: See above
• Teenage pregnancy: Why does that annoy you? We have loose bitches here, I know :)
• Scags & slags: Sorry, we aren't allowed to euthanise them. We'd like to...
• Celebrity obession: Again, agree. I actually found a pap-mag on the shelves the other day which didn't have anything about Peter and / or Jordan on it. I was so surprised I almost shit myself

Hope that clears it up. Overall I agree with most of your criticisms, and would love to emigrate. However, bearing in mind I know 3 families who emigrated to NZ and one who emigrated to Oz and they all came back, I do wonder what is right / wrong with each country. Crundy^{Talk nerdy to me} 22:14, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

Points noted, its just a general thing with me. Just didn't like the way of life. Aceⁱ⁹ 22:32, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

That sounds like a challenge. You should come and stop with us for a few days, then we shalt travel to my birthplace and make a pilgramage to Brancaster Staithe to buy Mussels and Cockles from the local fishermen to cook marinier / italianto Crundy^{Talk nerdy to me} 22:40, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

Challenge accepted. Aceⁱ⁹ 22:45, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

R0x0r. Name your date. actually, how's about you and tehmissuz come stay on the weekend of the V-Festival (which is just up the road from us) and we'll all go to the Saturday gig and crash out at my place afterwards? Crundy^{Talk nerdy to me} 22:49, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

I'll let you know when I am in the UK next. Aceⁱ⁹ 22:51, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

You'll have to be more specific than that. The tickets go on sale only a few days after the lineup is announced. We've spent the last two years taking the opening-ticket-sales-day morning off work just to get 2 tickets. If you are serious then you'll have to show some committment. We're next to the Weston-under-lizard ground btw, not Chelmsford. Josh, I know you're reading this and if you're interested as well then you too are welcome. Single day tickets are about £70. Crundy^{Talk nerdy to me} 22:57, 27 January 2010 (UTC)