Virginia
From RationalWiki
Virginia is state in the United States of el norte amerigo named after some tramp trying to whitewash her reputation.
Contents |
[edit] Settlement
Virginia is the location of Jamestown, the first permanent English settlement in America
[edit] Mythology
- Yes, Virginia, there is no Santa Claus.
- Catholic girls start much too late
[edit] History
Virginia was one of the original thirteen colonies to escape British tyranny and form the fledgling United States. It traitorously deserted the Union in 1861 to join the Confederacy. This cost them the territory of West Virginia, where the population were more patriotic. However, in the aftermath of of losing the Civil War that ensued, Virginia once more became the proud and stalwart owner of a star on Old Glory, and home to large numbers of U.S. Government offices and employees.
Given the contemporary reputation of West Virginia, many Virginians feel that it is only right and proper that West Virginia is the southernmost state in Yankee territory, and no longer affiliated with the Old Dominion.
[edit] Culture
The Roxy Music song Virginia Plain has nothing to do with this Virginia. Neither, in fact, does the statement above, under "mythology".
Leave Virginia alone, she's not like you and me.
[edit] Religion
Though Virginia is classified as a Bible Belt state, it is actually home to two great extremes: The southern part of Virginia is home to Jerry Falwell, Liberty University, and generally rampant fundamentalism. Northern Virginia is home to godless liberal communists who commute to Washington DC. Each is equally ashamed of the other.
[edit] Exports
- Terbacky
- Wacky terbacky
- Commuters to Washington, D.C.
- Slugs (a peculiar subspecies of said commuters to Washington, D.C. that don't feel like paying for the bus)
- Firearms. Virginia is a conveniently located place to easily purchase guns to sell in northeastern cities, where they are typically heavily regulated.
| The Bible Belt | |
| Alabama - Arkansas - Florida - Georgia Kansas - Kentucky - Louisiana - Mississippi Missouri - North Carolina - Oklahoma - South Carolina Tennessee - Texas - Virginia - West Virginia - Jesusland |
