how long

Yeah, the same obsession with the personal angle to conflicts happened in me. The solution? Embrace apathy. Taking everything personally is incredibly taxing. Learn to fear it. Fear the emotional drain, fear the stress, and fear the ungodly amount of work involved in always fighting people. (Your edit rate will drop like a rock once you aren't adding 100 edits towards every HCM, but that's a benefit, not a cost.)

I'm so apathetic that I didn't even realize there were HCMs in progress!

Some of the most apparently apathetic editors used to be some of the most prolific content-wise. But in a sense you're right, Stabby.