Conservapedia:Karajou

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An unconfirmed portrait of Karajou circa 1994

Karajou —alias Karajerk, Kowardjou, Kookajoo, Karajooooojo, Karakoo, Koo Koo Ka Joo, Karatard, Kajagoogoo, Kangaroo, Karakarakarakarakameleon and Brian MacDonald— is one of the most active Conservapedia generals admirals swabbies. He possesses the strength, fury, intellect and ruthlessness of a hurricane. He is one of the best busiest troll-destructor sysops at Conservapedia, as his method involves automatic blocking on users who may happen to live near where a previous suspect has left their mark; the drawback of this onslaught is a bit too much collateral damage. To fix this, he has refused to enable his email checkbox, effectively forcing editors to bother contact somebody else instead. As of 28/01/08, he has claimed twelve /16 IP's souls, preventing Conservapedia from growing rapidly and the truth from setting you free.

Reading comprehension is not his forte; much like RobSmith, debating with Karajou often leaves the impression that he isn't really aware of what you're saying, much less able to comprehend the logic behind it. But unlike Rob, Kowardjou is likely to become very angry that anyone has dared question him. He doesn't like being called Kowardjou, either. So don't do that.

The reasons this gawd lovin God botherer gives for these blocks range from "don't need you", "user was aborted; being a believer in abortion, he should accept it", to "just plain stupid!", "Canadian citizen demanding First Amendment rights under our Constitution, when he hasn't sworn to uphold and protect it" and "returned to form; will not return EXCEPT UNDER ACHLAFLY'S PLEASURE" though he's usually satisfied with a simple combination of the words "troll", "vandal" and "IP".

In addition to his Conservapedia antics, Karajou has allegedly served in the alleged United States Navy (see below, see below). Karajou finds in this alleged service grounds to make all sorts of crazy judgments. Its like an argument from authority, but the authority is the villain from "Popeye".

He names a college in his weirdly detailed blog-resume (see below), although he apparently never earned a degree. He seems to have focused in law enforcement (like the guy who checks the time cards of people who drive around the parking lots of Wal*Mart).

His love for science is evidenced by the fact that he's the most prominent member in the Save the Clam Coalition Group, a proud defender of the Great Auk and doesn't like vaccines very much. Whether Karajou stood up for his principles by refusing to accept vaccines while in the Navy, however, is most unlikely.

An ad hominem attack

I am going to start out by affirming that I have nothing against military servicemen. They are brave and selfless people, and they perform a great service to our country. My father was a full-time serviceman for 22 years. However, as BillOHannity mentioned above, Karajou has been touting his military service like it makes him impervious to criticism. By touting it like a magic charm, Karajou himself belittles that service, and makes his own fair game for attack.

So watch me as I belittle that service.

From Karajou's C.V. CP userpage:
Qualifications: United States Navy

• 20 years

Twenty years is nothing special. It also means he wasn't a career soldier, having retired after only twenty years. And yes, Karajou is retired, otherwise he would be bragging even more, and, more significantly, he edits Conservapedia too much for him to not be retired.

• 4 MED cruises; 1 WESTPAC; 1 UNITAS; various other deployments

I like how he thinks throwing around Navy jargon makes it seem more important. Translation: 4 assignments in the Mediterranean Sea, 1 in the western Pacific Ocean, and 1 assignment with the UN naval task force in the Atlantic.

• Gulf War veteran

You were in the navy... you weren't in the naval air force... if you had actually seen any action, you would have bragged... So you sat on a boat dozens of miles out to sea. How inspiring.

• NEC 9545: Law Enforcement

You mean you were an MP (military police), or Master-at-arms (MA) to use the Navy parlance for it. "MAs report to the executive officer, help maintain discipline, and assist in security matters" (Wikipedia). Hmm... Sounds an awful lot like what you do at Conservapedia now. Granted, MA encompasses many different jobs, all of them requiring specialized skills, but those jobs each carry their own additional NEC-number label. Since you haven't listed any other such codes, and you have so painstakingly listed all of your other, irrelevant "qualifications", we can conclude that you were only a general MA without any specializations.

• NEC 9585: Recruiting

This my favorite. (Before I start, I should mention that my father was a US Army recruiter, so I have a better idea than most how the job works). In addition to his regular job as MA, Karajou was a recruiter. You know what that means? When stationed at home, a recruiter's job is to recruit civilians into the military (specifically, into whatever branch they themselves are in). When stationed outside the US, a recruiters job is to get fellow soldiers to re-enlist.

Ah, can't you just see Karajou, hitting up his buddies, trying to convince them to sign up for a few more years? I'll even bet he was amazing popular because of this (not!).

• USS South Carolina CGN-37
• USS Samuel Gompers AD-37
• USS Shenandoah AD-44
• USS O'Bannon DD-987
• Naval Station Norfolk
• Naval Amphibious Base Little Creek
• Naval Air Station Jacksonville
• Naval Station Mayport

I'll be brutal. Servicemembers get transferred a lot. My own father was only a Sergeant, 1st Class (E7 on the pay-grade scale), and he (and us) were transferred every few years. So there is absolutely nothing special about this list. Anyone who stays in the military full-time for more than a couple years racks up a list like this. Listing all the places you were stationed at just to sound impressive is being an ass, and flashing it at unknowledgeable civilians like it was something special is being disingenuous.

• Rank: ??

You know what's missing? Karajou's rank. He never gives it. He painstakingly lists his rather unimpressive accomplishments, then neglects to supply his rank. Must not be a very impressive rank then. Let's see... he couldn't have been E7.

E7 - Chief Petty Officer
Being a Chief is a big accomplishment for Navy enlisted. It has its privileges and responsibilities. Chiefs generally have their own mess and galley on ship as well as their own bunk rooms separate from the other enlisted. Its generally accepted that in the Navy, Chiefs are the ones who really run the ship. (Factplace)

If Karajou had been anything like that, his ego would be exponentially larger than it is now (thereby causing the collapse of the universe, so fortunately he was not). Therefore, we can conclude that Karajou was at most, E6—Petty Officer, 1st Class. Given his craptastic communication skills, he may have been as low as E5—Petty Officer, 2nd Class. A most unimpressive ranking. What's more, that's as high as he ever got over a twenty year period. So it's almost sad.

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Karajou detecting Ames's latest sock.

Education

• Recruit Training Center, Great Lakes Naval Station, IL
• Sonar 'A' School, FLEASWTRACENPAC, San Diego, CA

Oh, for Christ's sake, Karajou, stop trying to impress us with Navy acronyms. FLEASWTRACENPAC stands for Fleet Antisubmarine Warfare Training Center, Pacific. Congratulations, not only were you on a fucking ship, you could work the fucking sonar, which comes fucking standard on warships. Any reason to think this kind of training isn't fucking normal?

• Recruiting Command, Orlando, FL
• Navy Police/Law Enforcement School, Lackland Air Force Base, San Antonio, TX
• Middle Tennessee State University, Murfreesboro, TN

Absolutely nothing on this list is noteworthy. For a Navy serviceman of mid-lower rank, with a Master-at-Arms designation, all of these schools are required/standard. Regarding the only civilian school on the list, Middle Tennessee State University, note how Karajou doesn't say what degree he earned. Assuming he earned any degree at all. Can we say "general studies", everyone?

Karajou the Furry

Karajou, while maintaing the facade of the self-rightous and upstanding conservative also leads a double life as a devotee to the "Furry" lifestyle . . . not that there's anything wrong with that.