Fun:Andy's Evening

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Andy's Evening

The sound of the rain hitting the rooftop was steadily growing, what had started as a pleasant, cool evening was soon becoming a large storm. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. The day had been long and tedious, all day Andy had been focusing on an upcoming event, his deflowering at the hands of the rough sailors. The long day had passed, Andy was able to rest. Sitting back in his chair, he allowed his aching muscles to slacken as he finally allowed himself to relax.

Cackling to himself with complete abandon, Andy's thoughts turned to the recent slip-up by a Democratic congressman. As he perused Conservapedia's recent changes, Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep. Woken by a sudden sound, Andy sat immediately upright, throwing out his back as he did so. Stumbling down the dark corridor towards his ringing phone, Andy was started by a sudden hissing noise. Looking down he saw that he had accidentally trodden on his cat's tail. A quick, painful swipe at Andy's leg and the cat had taken off into the darkness. Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation. As Andy was informed of the situation that had unfolded in his absence, his blood began to boil. Without so much as a farewell, Andy slammed the phone down and made haste to his computer. The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles. " Son of a butt face!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.

His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from WorldNetDaily and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article. As the article loaded, Andy was filled with anger as cited fact after cited fact filled his screen. After immediately praying for god to smite the author, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.

After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:

' "Anonymous User" (what a ridiculous user name!), The content and spelling of your statement looks to me like that of an atheist. I looked at many of your edits before reverting them and I feel depression and animosity coming through in your comments, so my confidence is over three standard deviations away from the mean that you're trying to spread anti-Christian propaganda. Furthermore, you deny that feudalism prevents skateboarding. Do yourself a favor and admit that I teach the truth and do not waste time trying to cater to linguistic political correctness. If you think you can build a clock immune from Newtonian effects, then patent it immediately. Can't be done. --Aschlafly 10:04, 11 June 2024 (UTC)'

Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:

Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of Infinite (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Adding facts)

Having defeated reality and its liberal bias, Andy knew his blog was safe again. Thanks to Andy's vigilant efforts, Conservapedians continued to wallow in their ignorance. Things were back to normal.

The End