Fun:Andy's Evening

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Andy's Evening

The restless winds blew through the untamed and surly hair of the man as he made his way up the rugged hill to his modest lodgings. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. A long day had finally passed, the stress had gradually worn at Andy, who had been focusing on the second coming of Jesus. As long as the day had been, it seemed worth it for this very moment, the opportunity to relax.

Chuckling to himself, Andy's thoughts turned to the recent success Conservapedia has had on YouTube. As he sat at his computer, Googling his own name, Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep. Andy's dreams of white clouds and warm, loving light evaporated as he woke suddenly. Carefully stepping over TK, so as to not wake the sleeping sentry at the foot of his bed, he left the room. Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation. The colour drained quickly from Andy's face as some unwelcome news was relayed to him. Dropping the receiver, he leapt across the room to his computer. The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles. " Son of a bourgeoisie!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.

His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from Phelps's site and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article. As the article loaded, Andy felt his rage start to build as he noticed numerous instances of truth in the previously conservative-friendly article. After immediately burning the page, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.

After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:

' "Anonymous User" (your insulting name is getting tiresome), The content and spelling of your statement looks to me like that of an atheist. I skimmed through your recent edits and I haven't seen a single insight from you yet, so let me guess: you're easily taken in by Hollywood Values. Your atheistic worldview has led you to deny that intelligent design reduces talk pollution. Nobody seriously doubts that there are no more than 100 successful, performing female pop singers. I just went to Wikipedia and typed in the silliest term I could think of: "duh". And what do you know: Wikipedia has an equally silly entry for it! I'm going to enter that Wikipedia's insight into our Wikipedia entry now. You can push your liberal POV on Wikipedia instead.--Andy Schlafly 20:16, 17 May 2024 (UTC)'

Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:

Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of Until the rapture (account creation disabled) (Lacks machismo)

Conservapedia was safe for another night. Pausing briefly to salute the confederate flag that proudly adorned his wall, he returned to his long neglected bed.

The End