Fun:Jinx baiting
Jinx baiting (also known as Hijinx[1]) is a popular pastime with the "in" crowd. Like frisbee golf, it is mostly played on college campuses, but it has been known to attract crowds the world over. Rationalwiki liberally estimates that is the 578,594th most popular game in the world.[2]
Rules
Jinx baiting is very simple to learn, but can take a lifetime to master. The game is played on a 68-meter-long pitch, called the Galleywhoop. First, the referee calls everyone into the center of the intertubes and explains the rules, reminding the players that no firearms are to be used at any time[3] and that the use of any foreign substance (except peanut butter) is grounds for a caution. After the rules, captains from the opposing teams grab the left foot of the man (or woman) to their right and shake vigorously for thirty seconds (with strict time kept from the announcer's booth). The referee then sends both teams to opposite ends of the Galleywhoop and releases the Jinx on the 34-meter mark. Players then attempt to bait the Jinx into coming over to their territory. Once the Jinx crosses into team territory (from the 23-meter mark back), that team is awarded 52 points. When the Jinx arrives, the scoring team attempts to taunt the Jinx into a long, complicated roar of fury, known as a Schukky, awarding the team with an additional 37 and 13/37ths points. If the other team manages to bait the Jinx back to neutral territory before the Schukky is induced, they steal the 52 points from the original scoring team. If the Jinx continues the rest of the way into their territory, they receive an additional 18 points and a coupon for free chicken, plus the opportunity to induce a Schukky. Should the Jinx lose interest or collapse in neutral territory, both teams go out for vodka, with the referee picking up the tab.
Laws
It is very difficult to begin a new league in the modern age. Strict environmental rules prohibit the capturing of any new "Jinx's" to play. As such, teams must wait for an existing league to fold or for a wild Jinx to enter the playing field of it's own accord. Depsite the toll this took on amatuer Jinxbaiters, the professional circuit is still going strong with new leagues opening almost daily.
Reputation
The sport has had limited success in the Deep South, the Midwest and Colorado Springs, due to the continued feelings by natives that this is a "thinkin man's sport." However, many high schools are beginning to start their own programs for academic baiting. The NCAA is expected to institute an official program by 2015. Jinx baiting is not yet an Olympic sprot, but hopes are held that this will be rectified in time for 2012 or 2016. However, recent claims have been made by PETA that it is a cruel sport and causes unnecessary suffering. They support Federal legislation mandating future Jinxes should be put down by humane injection when no longer competitive.
Tactics
The main strategy used in Jinx baiting is continuted verbal abuse from a position of power. Some hot topics inculde:
- Peanut butter
- A dog
- Breathing through one's mouth
- Spelig erors
- Facepalms
- The fallibility of Andrew Schlafly
- Wikis that prove Rational
- Laptop Computers selling for less than $1000 (American)
- People not living in their parents' basement
- Children's story 3 Billy Goats Gruff (Contains a troll)
- Weird Al Yankovic (Parodist)
- Cavemen (See number 2)
- Logic (Has proved to be useless against modern "Super Jinxes")
Trivia
CP user Fox is currently the undisputed heavyweight title holder. The Jinx currently used for international competition, affectionatly known as Jason, has been considered by some experts the easiest Jinx to bait since the passing of Big Ethel in 1903