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What is going on?

April 2010

14

Remember, the government of fundamentalism must be small enoguh to fit in your uterus and force you to watch ultrasounds of your fetus before having an abortion. In addition, a doctor doesn't have to tell you that the fetus has a birth defect. This is in the interest of women "being able to make informed decisions".

9

Well, I'll be damned - Tea Partiers are racists, says a new study. Wow! Who knew?!

4

Search for Genes Leads to Unexpected Places Deep Homology.

8

We have met the enemy, and he is PowerPoint.

3

So maybe John Hinckley will find a better way of impressing Jodie Foster.

1

BoobQuake suffers an unfortunate coincidence.

3

Remember that Seinfeld episode when George hit a squirrel with his car and his girlfriend made him rehabilitate it? Yeah, that's kind of real (EXTREME CUTENESS WARNING)

11

Is that a biscuit under the sofa?

10

Born again - virgins?

10

In Lebanon, is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

4

Good riddance: Nazi, preacher, cult leader, child abuser and Pinochetista torturer Paul Schäfer dies in Chilean prison.

5

That sure is a purty picture. Reckon there's some of that there physics attached to it as well.

10

US Air Force launches its first "space plane" although its actual purpose remains classified - i.e., watch out for an increase in earthquakes over the next few weeks. or something.

7

You might not be able to pronounce "Eyjafjallajökull," but you can't deny it's given us some very pretty pictures.

2

Well this ended a lot less bloodily than the last fight over Okinothing

9

Canadian climate change scientist fights back against National Post claims that he's a shill out for government grants.

13

The greatest threat to science education? It's not IDers - it's school principals without backbones.

8

Atheist gets ASBO banning him from "carrying religiously offensive material in a public place".

9

Billy Graham's boy disinvited by the Pentagon to it's National Day of Prayer activities after protests by Muslim service members.

11

The Independent (UK) puts up adverts saying Rupert Murdoch won't decide this election. You will. Next afternoon James Murdoch and Rebekah Brooks (News Corps's no. 2 and 3) camp out in The Indy's offices, demanding to see the editor.

10

Arizona (motto:"God Enriches") becomes the "Birther" state

7

What's the number one cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

6

Quelle merde!

8

This is not a threat, but a warning.

9

Boo-fucking-hoo. Scott Roeder, the murderer of Kansas abortion doctor George Tiller, wants out of jail because he's being mistreated in prison. (BTW: He started the paperwork for this appeal in February, a few days after his trial ended. He was convicted on 29 January and sentenced on 1 April.)

3

Now clean air causes global warming, too.

10

New research shows that "brain games" don't actually make you smarter, they just help you pass those tests; i.e., playing Brain Training will make you good at Brain Training in much the same way that playing GTA IV turns you into a violent killer makes you good at GTA IV.

9

The US Geological Society publishes a new paper reaffirming its belief in anthropogenic global warming - "rising anthropogenic emissions of greenhouse gases have been an increasingly important contributor since the mid‐1800s and the major factor since the mid‐1900s" (Link is a PDF).

6

Teabaggers are living in the past (and mostly over 45), while those crazy kids are down with socialism.

8

To combat the surge in the polls for the Lib Dems, the Tories lurch back to the right, and back to 1983.

6

Lets show how bad the Tory party is with some hard-hitting, witty satire on their posters and policies - or we can just look like guffawing idiots by scrawling the word "cunt" on David Cameron's head

2

RIP Doroth Height, the kids in Tylertown, Mississippi could use you right about now.

9

If you were born on Puerto Rico or know somebody who was, you may want to pay attention to this. Thanks to widespread identity theft, on 1 July 2010 the government of Puerto Rico will INVALIDATE EVERY BIRTH CERTIFICATE that it has ever issued.

-14

Some people held a protest. At one some people were arrested, at another some weren't.note

6

George Washington, president, statesman, non-returner of library books.

15

The headline says it all: "Extramarital sex fuels earthquakes, warns Iran cleric."

7

For God's sake: Obama isn't coming to take away your guns

16

One story you probably won't see on CP's broken news. The USA is now being viewed more favourably by the rest of the world.

10

Just because you're a crack baby, doesn't mean you can't succeed.

14

More on the UK Election: Support for the Liberal Democrats sky rockets following the first live debate, we can't be having that now, can we?

6

Do Christian groups on public college campuses have the right to discriminate against gays? Time to find out what the Supreme Court says.

8

If you're on Twitter, be nice. The Library of Congress plans to archive all tweets.

12

Eating black people is wrong. Apparently.

10

Parents! Why not rent an ex-policedog to sniff out drugs in your teenager's bedroom?

9

A Gwent police officer accidentally sent an excel spreadsheet containing full details of everyone who's applied for a CRB check (criminal records check - needed if you wish to work with children or vulnerable adults) since 2001 to The Register, an irreverent (and sometimes irrelevant) tech news site.

11

David Cameron's "40 year old black man who served in the army for 30 years" speaks out.

1

Skillcraft US Government Issue Pens are really that good (also buying them helps to support the blind).

4

Infiltration of the Tax Day teabagger protests was a resounding success!!!

11

9 myths about Socialism in the United States.

3

Quantico blocks Fox. Now to get everyone else to do the same.

6

"Click here to acknowledge you have read and accept the terms and conditions" - 88% of customers unwittingly sell their immortal soul to GameStation

5

Gay swans are expecting babies!

9

A federal judge has found that the National Day of Prayer is unconstitutional.

5

A meteor is seen over Wisconsin and Iowa, rattling windows at ground level.

3

I'm in the hi-fidelity / First class traveling set / And I think I need a Lear jet.

2

Certainly interesting. Unfortunately tragic.

13

We'll be Singhing when we're winning: The British Chiropractic Association drops its case against Simon Singh. Singh also says he will pursue them for his £100,000+ costs. And all this in Chiropractic Awareness Week.

-2

Yet another gay Christian. When are the rest of them finally going to admit the same thing?

2

Bush nostalgia or does Obama just suck that much?

1

Zimbabwe, home to over 12 million people and believed to have an unemployment rate of over 90%, has the death penalty - but nobody wants the job of hangman.

0

Britain's Ministry of Defence conducted germ warfare tests on millions of Brits between 1940 and 1979.

4

The independent enquiry into climategate concludes: No malpractice or conspiracy whatsoever. The Daily Mail on the other hand, is having none of it, focusing entirely on the criticisms of statistics and with the words "whitewash" appearing several times in the comments at least.

3

Shocking news from the world of mushroom farming.

12

Expelled with a goatee: Old Testament scholar "resigns" from seminary for endorsing evolution. "If the data is overwhelmingly in favor of evolution, to deny that reality will make us a cult." So it seems.

-2

More teabagging shenanigans as a teabagging teacher uses his school district email account to organize a teabagging protest.

0

Don't these idiots know that pride is a sin and only gays can be proud of their sexuality?

10

Oh yeah, this will end well.

8

Easily preventable conditions in children like tooth decay, obesity and passive smoking damage are reaching epidemic levels say Alder Hey Children's Hospital.

9

No Governor. Gay people know that children aren't puppies. Teenagers are the ones you're looking for.

3

If you're going to kill someone as a Wiccan sacrifice, you probably shouldn't make it so obvious. [/sarcasm]

21

The Sunday Times: "Richard Dawkins intends to arrest the Pope.". Richard Dawkins: "Come again?"

9

"Even after death, abuse against gays continues".

-6

Peaceniks move on to supporting juvenile delinquency.

8

Wearing fakes turns you into a faker.

6

Business executives take acting lessons. (The most important thing in acting is sincerity. If you can fake that, you've got it made.)

11

Probably the best strike in the world?

14

A new great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-ok, you get the point - grandmommy found

8

So, you're the British army, and you're fighting in Afghanistan. What do you put in your English firing range for realistic target practice? A Taliban camp? A roadside bomb? How about a mosque?

8

The Germans are well-known as sticklers for precise measurements. Too bad they've been getting the length of their biggest river wrong. By 90 kilometres. For the last 50 years.

8

Krazy Kon '10

6

This is what happens when you put a Randroid in charge of the Fed

4

Hail Mary! gOD's mommy's coming back!

9

In the Civil War Virginians fought for the states' right to do what Governor McDonnell?

12

In the US, the future of net neutrality is now in doubt.

12

Thanks to a triple whammy of Soviet era irrigation projects, global warming and population growth, the world's fourth-largest lake is 90 percent dry.

15

The UK General Election has been announced for May 6th.

41

Developing story: Wikileaks has released a 2007 gunsight camera video showing two Reuters journalists being killed by a US Apache helicopter crew. Roughly a dozen died, most unidentified Iraqi citizens, including some who arrived in a van and attempted to help one of the journalists escape the scene. The only known survivors were two children, wounded when the helicopter destroyed the van during the rescue attempt. Currently reporting indicates that the exact details of the incident were covered up, even after Reuters submitted a FOIA request and received documentation about the incident. The video and Wikileak's account can be found at collateralmurder.com, and you are urged to follow the story in your favored media outlets.

10

Australian wazzocks at their best

3

Tests of the U.S earthquake bomb continue, this time triggering a 7.2 on the U.S - Mexico border.

7

After running into trouble with its Christmas bill board, St Matthews in the City church has another crack at it.

17

The Climategate report is in - and shows no fraud. The deniers' Dover moment?

6

Dying? That light at the end of the tunnel isn't Heaven, it's a chemical-neurological event.

11

The British National Party even hate each other.

14

Seffrican racist leader and alleged human being Eugene Terre'Blanche beaten to death. But there's no link to the ANC's "Kill the Boer" song.

5

Guardians of the Free Republics (their site) send letters to 30 governors demanding they resign within 3 days.

1

Did Democratic Congressman Hank Johnson forgot to say "April Fools"? Did the term "tipping point" confuse him? Or he really is afraid that Guam might tip over?

10

Sorcery!

11

The Westboro Baptist Church decide to picket Jewish institutions and Bay Area High Schools. The result; Booya!

10

The former Parliament speaker, Lord Martin, defends current UK libel laws and is against the change brought about by the Simon Singh case. The same Lord Martin who used those laws and £21,568 of public money to defend against negative press back in 2007.

7

Pirate skiff vs. Oliver Hazard Perry Class destroyer, who do you think won?

19

Simon Singh wins a landmark victory against the British Chiropractic Association and is allowed to use the defence of "fair comment" in his statements. The BCA maintain that "their reputation was damaged" in the incident, which is very true, just not in the way they think.

3

Tired of friends not having benefits? Get a sex robot for $7000!

March 2010

4

In a 44-page report, Greenpeace accuses Koch Industries of spending $25 million dollars to manipulate climate change data in their favor.

6

Liberal New Zealand edges closer to hell.

9

M.I.T finds evidence that your morality can be physically altered.

14

No champagne, but no black holes either, as the LHC begins to smash protons harder than anybody has before.

3

Bachelor #1, if I were a means of executing you which would you chose?

10

The Hutaree militia, whose website explicitly describes itself as Christian, was not a a True Scotsman Christian Militia

6

Nerd pareidolia? Cassini sees Pacman on The Death Star Mimas.

10

The Christian militia movement has reared its ugly head. Will the corporate media dare to call them terrorists? Don't hold your breath.

7

During his Palm Sunday homily, the pope said that he will not be intimidated by accusations that he covered up child sex abuse by many priests. Meanwhile, the archbishop of New York City goes a step farther, saying that "our earthly shepherd (is) now suffering from the same unjust accusation and shouts of the mob as Jesus did" just before He was crucified. Are these guys good at hyperbole or what?

9

Some members of the Tea-bagger movement sure do get around. Why, it's almost as if many of them are unemployed and living off of welfare.

9

How do you deal with the fact that one of your policemen has run over and killed a schoolgirl, while speeding? Nominating yourselves for (and winning) a public relations award for the way you handled the tragedy would not be most people's guess. See here for the CIPR nomination.

21

One of Bush's speechwriters said in an interview regarding Fox News that the GOP thought that Fox worked for them, but instead it turns out that the GOP actually works for Fox. But that's not why he "resigned" from the American Enterprise Institute. In fact, they "welcomed and celebrated" his comments. What's more, they were so orgasmic over his comments that "they offered him the chance to continue on at a salary of zero."

11

Opposition anger over Health Care Reform takes a violent turn.

12

Oh, those tabloids!

8

For years India and Bangladesh have disputed the ownership of New Moore Island. Global warming has settled the dispute.

10

Even zoo exhibits are Party of No political footballs nowadays, as climate change sceptics bash a polar bear exhibit in San Diego.

7

What lived 40,000 years ago, wasn't quite human, and wasn't quite Neandertal? No seriously, do you have an idea?

5

Google is leaving China, which is how you'd read this headline in Beijing.

-5

Joe Biden drops the f-bomb live. Is this a big fucking deal? Probably not.

13

No more pathetic reflection on the condition of public debate in the US could be found than that a quarter of the membership of the opposition party, The Party of No, thinks Obama may be the Antichrist. That's maybe 14 million people[1] who believe the President to be Beelzebub.

21

Ann Coulter is offended that Canada would lump her as those who would spread hate speech. She would be justified if she didn't tell a Muslim student to take a camel.

6

Former Houston Rockets coach pitches miracle pain relief, just use the hologram stickers...

12

To test psychological conditions for a mission to Mars, a crew of 5 volunteers have been locked in a box for 18 months. Do you think you could do it?

15

So how did the free market react to the government take over of 16% of the economy and the approach of socialism? By posting an 18 month high.

18

Using carefully chosen, bipartisan language, Phyllis Schlafly calls the Democrats the "Party of Death". Yes, that seems fair and balanced all right.

40

219-212

11

Gay? Fancy a break? Don't try Cookham, Berkshire

10

Tea party movement illustrates the saying, that people believe most fervently what they understand the least. In this case, taxes.

6

In China, one-party rule and censorship have led the language to develop a new tense formation - the passive subversive.

12

YouTube makes a startling accusation towards Viacom, one of it's main antagonists in the legal battles over copyright infringements: That Viacom itself "...hired no fewer than 18 different marketing agencies to upload its content to the site. It deliberately 'roughed up' the videos to make them look stolen or leaked."

11

Dutch soldiers failed to protect Sebrenica in 1995, why? According to a US General, it was because of the gays

8

Queen of the Birthers, Orly Taitz, is running for California Secretary of State.

5

The first ever 3D "Invisibility Cloak" has been created

5

Quantum Superposition recreated in visible objects for the very first time. The Quantum world is a very strange place indeed.

4

Taking the "genetic lottery" to a whole new level.

4

French documentary recreates Milgram's obedience study in the format of Reality TV - And it betters Milgram's 68% figure, with 80% obeying.

1

New data from the Planck satellite - self-respecting physics junkies chuckle at the idea of Planck working at "very large scales"...

7

Is it a man? Is it a woman? No! It's a, er...

5

Singing songs, chanting and banging bongos are for hippies - real protesters use human blood.

-3

Justice Thomas, wouldn't it be better to keep it private that your wife is into teabagging?

6

Headline of the week: Man assaulted female police officer with penis.

6

A woman discharged from the Air Force after snooping cops out her to the brass.

4

IRL trolling: fake news broadcast panics Georgia

5

Google now appears to be telling the Chinese government precisely where it can shove its Great Firewall. Update: Google shoves it for China

3

Ooh, that's a new one. Priest caught in bed with boys says he was only "tickling" them.

5

Ain't science great. Blind man learns to "see" with his tongue.

4

Glenn Beck is polarizing, even at Fox News. Or maybe that's just what they want you to believe.

4

Rupert Murdoch Doesn't Get The Web. Really.

-4

The Frogs veer left and right, undercutting Sarkozy's support.

4

A smooth-talking shill who, as an aide to President Obama, spent more time waxing lyrical about the "Obama brand" than actually doing her job, is out on her ear.

8

Scientologists + Haiti = FAIL.

3

Careful when you open your legs heart to lots of strange men God, ladies; you might get syphilis along with the Greater Connectedness.

6

U.S court rules against vaccine-autism claims.

5

CIA Experimented with LSD on Unsuspecting French Villagers Hat tip

10

UK journalist has to quit his day job to battle libel threats from chiropractors, after calling some of their claims "bogus". Rationalists fought back, and the chiropractors are now being smacked too.

0

Tiger, I'm just not sure that Ari is the man to rebuild your image.

0

Happy 60th FBI's 10 Most Wanted List, unless you happen to be a mob king pin, a terrorist, child molester or serial killer.

2

Women who take the pill "live longer"

6

9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals: "Under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance is constitutional. Michael Newdow promises to appeal to the Supreme Court.

9

It has come out that Blackwater, under the alias Eric Cartman, nicked hundreds of guns from the U.S. army.

1

The Virginia Attorney General tried to stop college presidents and other officials implementing anti-discrimination policies[old news]. The Governor's overridden him[new news]. Strife!

0

Prohibits the use of salt by restaurants in the preparation of food by restaurants.

10

North Mississippi school district cancels prom rather than let a lesbian couple attend. UPDATE: The ACLU gets involved while the school throws all the toys out of the buggy.

2

According to Chief Justice Roberts its okay to criticize him, just don't do it to his face and on national TV.

4

"I ain't our fault, it's Satan!"

0

William Shatner decides to set up his own social networking site complete with a catchy name.

5

The LHC is up to half power, but will need a year off to get it up to full - putting off full power Higgs research for at least another two years. Nielsen and Ninomiya may just be onto something...

32

Congratulations on 100 National Museum of Natural History.

4

3 years after being scrapped due to meddling by (surprise, surprise) US conservative groups, ICANN is set to reconsider the .xxx domain name.

-1

After weeks of running ads claiming that they were really, truly listening to their customers' concerns, Toyota reverts to its old claim: their runaway accelerator problem isn't electronic. It's faulty accelerator pedals and/or floor mats. A few hours later -- as if on cue -- a runaway Prius (which was recently turned away by the local dealership because that model wasn't part of the recall) required some "special assistance" to come to a stop.

5

Sean Penn: People who call Hugo Chavez a dictator should be thrown in irons. So much for Mr. Penn being appalled at the notion of civil liberties being deconstructed.

2

The Rome police were running a sting on a gay prostitution ring when they recorded solicitations involving an usher and a choir member from the Vatican.

13

Today in What-the-fuckery: Katrina victims seek to sue greenhouse gas emitters - like cows?

1

Across America college students peacefully rally to protest tuition hikes and service cuts. Except at the University of Maryland, which riots for a different reason.

8

I'm sure he was just doing "research"; California State Senator Roy Ashburn (R-Bakersfield) gets nabbed for DUI after driving away from a gay bar with a male "companion." People in the Sacramento gay community say "hooray, we've been trying to out him for years." UPDATE: good for him

2

Oh, boy... This should be good.

-2

In Karl Rove's new book he says that President Obama is "simply at odds with reality."

13

YEC Texas School Board member, McLeroy loses reelection bid to moderate Republican (there is no real Democrat challenger).

1

Seriously Congressman Broun?

9

Female Indian peacekeepers make a difference with traumatized women in Liberia.

4

Chilean earthquake may have shortened days on earth by 1.26 microseconds due to mass shifting. The Indonesian Tsumami quake appears to have made a 6 microsecond difference. Wonder how some YEC's would react to this, considering that they say God's 7 days were exactly 7 24 hour days.

2

So just because a bunch of spies took out a Hamas leader Israelis can no longer pretend to be Europeans while visiting Dubai

15

One quarter of American parents -- 29% of mothers, 17% of fathers -- believe that immunizations cause autism.

11

Republicans are on pace to break the filibuster record in the 111th Congress.

6

Andy's going to have a field day with this. Yup!

1

Justice Scalia loves guns but hates substantive due process. What's an "originalist" supposed to do?