Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?

Keep up to date with what is going on at the extremist blog Conservapedia with our rolling reports of the strange, contradictory or humorous activity there. We report, you decide which entries make it to the top of Best of Conservapedia by using the red and green arrows to vote the winners up and the stinkers down! If you are contributing for the first time please read the instruction manual.

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What is going on?

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Introduction

Newcomer's Guide What is going on?

Commentary

Best of Conservapedia Blatant plagiarism Differences with Wikipedia Hijacked articles "SDG" "TZB" "Fab Five" Sysops Timeline CP in the media

In-depth analysis

Active users Illustrated guide

Fun

Article Matrix Greatest Insights Parthian Shots v - t - e

Latest

57

Glove slap: Ed overwrites JacobB's talk pageimg with a demand for a writing plan. UPDATE Ed wants to show JacobB a little more gentleness.img

8

Daniel1212 gets all hot and botheredimg over some liberal revisionist sophist claptrapimg about "Bible," "women" and "equal" belonging in the same sentence.img In response, he wants to bring in opinions from people who think churches are full of men wearing skirts. That'll be the day!

44

User: Andy, you should write a memoir about the building of Conservapedia.img Andy: Books, schmooks; we're so hot and modern that books are the horse-and-buggy to our Tin Lizzie!img

20

CP:Chileans are disgusted with liberal control of the country, so they elect a conservativeimg. Reality (from CP's own source):After liberal candidate Eduardo Frei concedes when it looks like conservative Sebastian Pinera is going to get 52% of the vote, liberal President Michelle Bachelet leaves office with an 80% approval rating.

3

To fear sexual corruption, you must first understand it - and no-one goes to more effort to understand it better than Ed Poorimg. In order to fear it, you see.

58

TK: "Books are also another example of a liberal trap!"img (That's a quote, not a paraphrase!)

27

Ed: We must understand dozens of economic ideas to have a discussion about the economy.img To facilitate this understanding, he makes a stub with a wingnut blog entry for a source.img

13

User: I hope people will do something nice for MLK Jr. Day.img Terry Koeckritz quickly adds a newsbite fawning overimg the exemplar of liberalism,img then responds, As we said on our mainpage, user, this is a National Day of Service to Honor Doctor King!img

22

Andy logic: I am splendid; therefore, my students are splendid; therefore, their thoroughly average score is splendid,img despite falling pretty much exactly between the average pass/fail cutoff of 50 and the highest possible score of 80

7

Andy trimsimg newsbitesimg from the main page because "readers can't keep up at this fast rate." But the only things going onto the news column at a fast rate are Ken's micro-edits.img

32

Daniel links an "interesting article"img about Haiti to TK's talk page. From the same website's "about us" page: "What we call race realism is what was considered traditional common sense until perhaps the 1950s. It is a body of views that was so taken for granted it had no name, but it can be summarized as follows: That race is an important aspect of individual and group identity, that different races build different societies that reflect their natures, and that it is entirely normal for whites (or for people of any other race) to want to be the majority race in their own homeland. If whites permit themselves to become a minority population, they will lose their civilization, their heritage, and even their existence as a distinct people." TK responds: "It is! Perhaps you could use it to improve our Haiti article!"img

26

Ken adds a pictureimg "to enhance the Obama-Waterloo theme of the main page. No thanks are necessary from the liberal side of the aisle."img Half an hour later, "we reuse the ____ is Obama's Waterloo metaphor for the benefit of the liberal side of the aisle."img

Earlier entries

21

Andy wonders when public schools will teachimg what Waterloo was in history! One also wonders when Andy will look up what "one's Waterloo" means in a dictionary.

33

How does the world work in Andy's head? Sarah Palin flubbed the question about what periodicals she readsimg because liberals expect the answer to be the New York Times or the Washington Post. If she mentioned local papers, she would have been ridiculed by liberals. Therefore the question is dimwitted because it sparks "baseless criticism."

45

Are you a big fan of Richard Dawkins? If so you probably search for Doug Jesseph, a totally unrelated scholar who happens to have defended an atheist standpoint in a debate in 1996, on Google on a daily basis right? Well tough cookie. We are number 1!!!img

58

TK to RJJ: It's on!!!img UPDATE: Professor Jensen dares to question an Andy Insight™img

-12

Ken's breaking news: Shockingly, a right-wing Facebook group is stumping for a right-wing candidate!img

37

RJJensen: Plagiarism is only plagiarism if you try to wow your professors with it.img

47

Andy applies his formula of correlation = causation to produce a delusion of grandeur: An entire website apparently shut down when exposed and criticized on Conservapedia.img

30

Oh yeah! The creationists roll out the big guns in the battle against evolution: a Kajagoogoo weakly toon!img

93

It's bye-bye chivalry, as Andy trumpets the conservative value of woman-slapping: No "distortions by feminist ideology" in this film where "conservative values triumph over liberal ones"; A leading man slaps a woman,img although he gets "beaten up by dimwitted bystanders." (Emphasis added.) Update: Said bystanders were dimwitted beceause the weren't homoschooled!img

18

Ed continues cranking out pseudoscientific blather.img Now history is science, and it is unscientific not to ignore the entire philosophical basis of science study the supernatural "scientifically."

2

Non-scientist User 188 asks, "How and when is (the scientific method) really used?"img And it wouldn't be Uncle Ed without the creepiness factor: "Most good things that happen with kids (or in any other setting) are inadvertent, a sideshow to the planned purpose of an activity."

5

Uncle Ed fact checksimg a statement over two years old.img How about Article I, Section 8? Wasn't that hard, Uncle Ed? GOAT: Why bother fact checking when Geo can just make it vanish?img

39

User 188's expertise on biology: Humans are not part of the Eukarya kingdom of Animalia.img Update: Humans aren't animals because no liberals would like to be called an animal.img

43

Andy's expertise in anthropology:img "Apes don't make and wear clothes, make and use real tools, read and write, pray, or build civilizations. Yes, those are very significant characteristics of humans and to ignore them is to live in denial." And ideological block goes --> hereimg (bonus points for admitting it in the block comment, TK - you're barely human even if you're not an ape) followed by the now-familiar "I know where you live."img

88

Jensen on TK: "But what are TK's "orthodox" positions? Does he really have any? he never tells us--he never writes articles, he only erases the work of people who do the writing here.img UPDATE: after TK burns RJs response, RJ tries to take down TKs now-unanswered response, but TK puts it back and burns both diffs.

39

Andy logic: Liberals use the New York Times as their Bible,img NYT references CP in one opinion piece about non-CP stuff, therefore liberals use CP as their Bible!

47

User: "Islam is evilimg because of honor killings!" - RJJ "Whoa,img not so fast! Do not attack a monotheistic religion even if you think it is theologically incorrect. That undermines Conservapedia's crusade against atheism."img Guess Barack ("Hussein") Obama is all right, then!

12

RJJensen reinsertsimg an accurate analysis of accusation against the Tea Party Movement that Jpatt had removed.img Jpatt declines to take it lying down.img

23

Joe Lieberman, who almost single-handedly derailed health care reform, who unapologetically cheered the Iraq War, who was reportedly very nearly John McCain's running mate, is a liberalimg according to Andy.

22

Citations? We don't need no steenkeeng citations to announce that the UN's former Chief Weapons Inspector was arrested on internet sex charges.img (Maybe it's 'cause he's a Republican and used to work for Fox News?)

73

Haiti was devastated by its earthquake through a lack of U.S.-style economic freedomimg because "economic freedom saves lives." Interesting insight! OR, it could be because Haiti's poverty is caused by centuries of debt exploitation, not unfree markets, and the abatement of property damage in California is itself due to the the liberal California government's onerous and intrusive regulation of building codes.

128

Conservapedia examines the nature of absolute claims! User: It's a myth that atheists have built zero hospitals, here's an example.img Andy: I doubt your isolated claim and do not care to Google it,img thus there is no denying that atheists are uncharitableimg. User: OK, here are some cites.img TK: Singular examples (sic) do not disprove Andy's claimimg. Ed Poor: Even if you discover an exception, Andy's still rightimg. But of course a single counterexample disproves evolution, right Andy?img UPDATE: Terry Koeckritz: "Those who come here to argue and debate us will find their visit short" (read: fuck off).img

6

NVConservative: I don't care if this is a direct word for word quoting of an original work, we can't have any of that Un-Merikan Brit spellingsimg on Conservapedia. TK reproves NVcon and claims to have reverted the edit.img Took him an hour and a halfimg.

58

ChrisY: "I urge you to donate to the Red Cross as they're really quick helping on the scene of a disaster." Ed Poor:img "How can they possibly want to save lives as much as a church? You're an idiot." Bonus Hypocrisy: 39 minutes later Ed, who in a massive freudian slip mentions hypocrisy in the edit comment, suggests that a secular organisationimg is the goods--apparently completely rejecting the notion of church run fire services.

115

Conservapedia, in a nutshell: User: Facts!img Andy: Rant!img TK: Bye!img

51

Think stub and you will stay stub.img

-43

JacobB: "Now liberals are attacking one of the largest and most generous charitable organizations, the Salvation Army, for not providing domestic partner benefits to its homosexual employees and for "discriminating against illegal immigrants." Jab5000: "Why, that's terrible! those homosexuals and illegal immigrants are people too! Salvation Army will pay!" [1]img

84

Ed Poor objects to pleas for money for Haitian earthquake reliefimg, comparing them to the Oil For Food Scandal. (And creates CP's page on the scandalimg for good measure.) He then goes on to argue you should give to churches insteadimg.

32

MattS: "The ricin molecule is irreducibly complex!"img Nature: "Ricin's two proteins evolved, and here's how."

38

Karajou: Ha ha! Lib-rulls introduced a new tax, and now some gay fellaimg has got to pay it! Erm...

74

TK is an utter cunt cretin. (I'm sorry, I can't think of a better WIGO for this, but this level of sheer awfulnessimg needs highlighting) Later: A user queriesimg the statement and of course gets reverted and blockedimg.

32

High school and college students have mental health concerns relating to an obsession with wealth. Therefore, they should turn off their televisions and read the Bible,img even though, as we all know, he who maketh a lot of money in the free market shall be called greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

46

Terry Koeckritz on global warming: "So, record low temperatures this past week is the result of climate change, record high temperatures in the summer is the result of climate change?img" Obviously not, as we all know that cold temperaturesimg and warm temperaturesimg in winter are evidence against climate change. BONUS ELITIST HUBRIS: Poor countries are suffering under global warming because of "God's plan!"img

19

User:Daniel1212 "Do you know why this page is constantly loading? It never fully loads...", User:TK " No idea at all, other than the server is sometimes slow due to the vandal site membersimg.

35

Andy: Our students are doing this to learn, not merely to impress institutions.img This from the fellow who used an SAT-preparation book as the class text. Update: "A record 28 teenagers achieved college-level scores on our Economics Final Exam, attaining the equivalent of a passing grade on the CLEP exam that would be worth 3 units of college credit"img Out of at least 35 exams graded (by Andy), not using CLEP questions. But he's not out to impress anyone.

18

Jpatt is under the delusion that NPR would completely collapseimg without the CPB — which provides only 2% of its operating budget.

52

User: We forgot to offer Christmas well-wishes to the major non-Western denomination of Christians on the day they observe it. Ed (the Grinch) Poor: First write the Orthodox Christmas article, then request recognition!img

39

JacobB: "While you're technically right,img I'll still ban you for arguing about the Bible."img Update: TK wants to go Uncle Ed on JacobB.img

120

Muscle carsimg are conservative and give "highly efficient performance", whilst also celebrating masculine style against erosion by feminism.img

77

The truth hurts, TKimg. It really does.

17

Addison has turned into such a good little Andybot.img Obviously one answer to his question, the Declaration of Independence, is not good enough.

-13

New rule, from Terry Koeckritz, not found anywhere in the guidelines, that will get you blocked on Conservapedia: no edits for nearly two years.img Better get those socks posting again, folks.

43

User 188 is on the stupid path today. "Can we call evolution 'pseudoscience' because its promoters never want to think they're wrong?"img Here, Ed, read this. It may have too much jargon for you to follow.

48

Uncle Ed moves an article from mainspace to its author's pageimg due to it being an "unsatisfactory article," even though it is fairly complete and filled with mathematical explanations. Bonus: "Can you make this page easier for me to read? I don't get it. If you want to write technical stuff that I, your Uncle Eddy high school kids can't understand, go to Wikipedia!"img

68

User 188 "defies the liberal model"img of explaining science, points out that girls are stupid.

45

Uncle Ed creates a categoryimg as a warning to CP's usual crowd: "Contains BIG words!"

60

It's up, only 48 minutes late!img And it starts off with a bang: "1. Suppose a friend asked you, 'Did your Economics course have homework questions on the topic of prayer?' You would best reply might be, 'No, there were not many Economics questions about prayer, because..." We're still unsure whether Andy wants to hear a) prayer is free or b)c)d)e) prayer sucks.

46

"Almost all" children born of incest today are "deformed." On the other hand Egyptian pharaohs who married their sisters had "normal" children. This proves the YEC talking point about harmful mutations being the source of all inbreeding problems.img

24

For some reason, addingimg a link to a liberal far-left organization's articleimg from the liberal bias article gets one revertedimg and wrist-slapped by Andy for "non-substantive edits."img

13

Andy gets a hard on for the "biggest vote of the homosexual agenda"img of the past seven days? Update: Andy's brother is no more?img

21

Karajou lets on that he is a fan of the cruel aspects of natural selection or at least stupid jokes about the Darwin Awardsimg

77

Andy loses an argument, is shown how he's wrong about his relativity arguments, and even is quoted from the Bible. His response? "Godspeed, for last wordism, personalizing criticism, and basically wasting the time of others without enough substantive editing"img Andy, when will you block yourself for the same?

51

Liberal:img "often a liberal is merely someone who craves attention." Andy: Largest group from New Jersey! Largest group not affiliated with any church or school!img

45

According to Karajou, there is currently an anti-Christian Holocaust underwayimg. Who knew?

146

Andy: "The healing powers of Jesusimg happened instantly, which means they traveled faster than light, disproving relativity." - Frank: "Jesus was performing a miracle. They violate realityimg pretty much by definition" - Andy: "The works done by Jesus were merely signsimg and not miracles. And signs are simply disclosuresimg of reality." - Frank: "Scholars, the Bible, your Bible and your encyclopedia disagreeimg with you." - Andy: "I see you did your research, and I wish you would stopimg doing that. Can't you make up your facts like I do?"

62

Relativity, bane of scienceimg

-9

TK the merciful?img

24

For Andy, homosexuality's futureimg comes down to a vote in the New Jersey senate.

-6

Libruls ruined the economyimg (despite Obama not taking power until 2009). ALSO, THEY'VE HIRED TRANSVESTITES TO MAKE IT WORSE!

-25

Jake tarts upimg the Banach-Tarski Paradoxpage and asks Ed (Maths person!) to look at it (after Ed 'fessed that It doesn't make sense to himimg). Sorry Jake: it's harder than 1 + 1 = 2 so out of his league.

41

Jpatt gives us a wonderful insight into what he considers to be encyclopedic languageimg. Andy is less than impressedimg

18

A fun new fact about Ed that he wants you to know: he's a Wikipedian!img

6

So much for 'pro-life'img

7

Terry Koeckritz admits that he'd rather be feared than likedimg

29

Ken really seems to have a thing for fat dykesimg.

27

Ed: America is arguably the world's sole source of medical innovation.img Uh, right; the Wade-Dahl-Till valve obviously underwent a secret invention in the U.S. before surfacing in Britain.

66

User points out UK conservatives are different than US conservatives.img Andy: "I smite thee with my Schlafly Quote Generator!"img

95

And what is Kendoll's reaction to Dawkins calling God a dickhead? "Hey Dawkins! how 'bout them fat-ass lezbos!"img

1

Andy pretty much admits that CP is unaffiliated with schoolimg

74

Andy to User: You can't just claim that something is subjective when you disagree with it and objective when you agree with it!img (Also, the factual questions of science are somehow comparable to the value questions of the Best Conservative Movie.)

110

Richard Dawkins says God is "unjust", "unforgiving" and a "bully". Andy: God will punish him for this insult!img

9

DouglasA calls Uncle Ed's Moonie-stubimg "blasphemous."img

9

So why did Andy and others spend so much time debating top ten conservative films,img Terry Koeckritz?

13

User 188 is still cranky from his butthurt on WP. Contributing user banned by Karajou on Dec. 30.img User 188 further bans user the following day. January 2, User 188 deletes user's pageimg for "probation." Then reverts user's edits.img A little ironyimg to top it all off.

29

Andy uncovers another conspiracy. "The NIV uses the word 'womb' only 57 times, compared with 70 times by the NASB and 82 times by the ESV. Revisions to the NIV further promote feminist distortions."img Mama Schlafly would be proud!

22

Andy tries to pull together his BotP, his CBP with Greatest Kid Achievements:img "interesting example of best of the public as a woman shouts from the crowd" is more profound because "the 'particular woman' could well have been Mark's mom, and exemplifies the best of the public here."

-3

Karajou goes for the BIGGEST ASSHOLE AWARD of 2010, before Terry Koeckritz can try. User registers,img makes no edits, and is blocked 128 minutes laterimg for "Abuse of legitimate ISP for trolling / vandalism purposes."

25

Nothing like starting out 2010 with some spiteful homophobia,img eh, Andy?

65

How reality works on Planet Andy Conservapedia: The Telegraph chooses ten conservative films that are "clueless and obscure."img All the movies won major awards, and all but one were blockbusters.

24

TK:Isn't it funnyimg that Obama is in Hawaii as Rush Limbaugh has a heart attack there. We can place you at the scene of the crime, Mr. Obama...

14

Conservapedia announces its "Conservatives of the Decade!"img Who took the top spot? Who made the waves? Who represented conservatism the best? A sexual harasser who supported expansive executive power and unreasonable police searches, who barely asks questions during his job. This is the best conservative from 2000 to 2009?

19

Congress is safely held by Democrats. Obama handily won the election. But DMorris dreams of an Obama impeachmentimg in the next decade.

76

Is it really Obama who's bitter about not being president of the Harvard Law Review, not being successeful in politics, not winning a Nobel Prize er... not winning all the Nobel Prizesimg?

-63

User: The decade won't end for a year, so you shouldn't be doing "Conservatives of the Decade" just yet.img Andy: Jesus wasn't born in A.D. 1. Buzz off.img

20

Why not, Terry Koeckritz? He accomplished more this decade than most of the other picks.img

55

User: "Your speculation about Castro's death is violating the rules."img - TK: "Impossible. We are the rules."img

19

Yipe! According to TerryH's own blog a very reliable source, cap-and-trade isn't anything to do with the environment at all; it's a conspiracy to reduce American agricultural productivity!img

24

When an intelligence failure in 2001 cleared the way for 9/11, President Bush said nothing. When a similar intelligence failure occurred in 2009, President Obama announced intent to improve the system to stop further failures. Instead of commending Obama for being tough on terrorism, Andy concludes that Obama is to blame for something-or-other and is trying to palm it off on somebody else.img Also, despite not linking to the full text of Obama's speech, Andy magically knows what Obama did not say in it.

8

Uncle Ed bans a userimg for asking for Ed's email.img Update: User's banishment over with due to "personal email."

75

The debate on Fidel won't die! User: Other countries' leaders say he's alive. Do they lie, too?img Karajou: If you think he's alive, go there to see for yourself. While you're there, try to criticize him or attend the church you want.img Andy: Castro wrote articles? Proves NOTHING! Each day he lives, the chance he's still alive shrinks. It's amazing liberals deny he's dead! Liberals won't deny it if the NYT runs a front page article about it! THEN Cuba will announce he's dead!img User: I was just asking questions about why you think he's dead.img Karajou: If you don't care, then ARGUMENT OVER!img User: I'm sorry. I just wanted the truth, not speculation.img Karajou: You should read the Bible more, especially the part about churches who "don't care one way or the other," like you.img JDW: What motivation do liberals have for denying Fidel's death? It sounds like you're just picking a useless fight, Andy.img User 3: Andy, you don't make sense. You're breaking Conservapedia commandment 5, no personal opinion. I'm going to change the article to reflect this is only speculation.img Ed: Fidel Castro is "missing and assumed dead c. 2009."img He didn't "serve" his posts but "held" the posts, since he wasn't honestly elected.img Rev. Moon Fidel reveled in worship of him by the public (and kissing up to Andy by directly copying his statement).img Wheel: Ed,img User 3,img Ed protects,img Ed!img

28

Uncle Ed adds to the requirements to edit on CP: "Refusal to submit a writing plan is grounds for dismissal from the project."img

25

Uncle Ed to JDW: "Get a clue!"img Communists lie about everything! They have to conceal Fidel's death until they come up with a new dictator! Uncle Ed hasn't read CP's article where it states, "On February 18, 2008, Fidel Castro resigned as President of the State Council and Commander in Chief. He was succeeded by his brother, Raul Castro."img

-4

Andy: Superwoman from Minnesota "exposed the attempt at a global currency; led the conservative fight against the govt takeover of health care; opposed the gay agenda, and beat back the liberals who targeted her seat."img We just can't be bothered to spell her name correctly.

9

Ben: I think Limbaugh is a good choice.img Andy: I have an open mind about this, but STFU!!limg Ben: I see your point, and raise you clear and concise reasons for inclusion.img Igor Ben: Yes master!img.

60

User: Endogenous retroviruses put the theory of evolution beyond reasonable doubt.img Ken: Um ... er ... HEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!! Quick! Before I run out of Bible verses to quote!img UPDATE: User: What are these "creation scientists" of which you speak?img Ken: Look it up ... no wait, don't!!img

24

What will be the most influential trends of the coming decade? Andy: Whatever I'm obsessed with thisimg week.img

27

Jinx hi Jinx! nominates Andy as conservative of the decade,img admitting he does it largely to drive us into some sort of uncontrollable rage. Apparently he's unaware he's already been repeatedly beatimg to theimg punchimg, and the nomination has been removed each time by Andy. (And no, Jinx, we're not in some sort of frenzy, but it's hard to pass up another chance to display your idiocy.)

39

Andy: Fidel Castro has not been seen in public for a while. Therefore, Fidel Castro is deadimg and writing newspaper columns from hELL the grave. NAO: Is Andy reading RW?img

17

Thisimg willimg neverimg getimg oldimg willimg itimg Karajou.img

-1

Choice of the choiciest, Andy asks for contributions to "Conservatives of the Decade."img They should measure up to Ronald Reagan, Andy explains. NAO with "quotes of the decade," including one from Junoimg to nominate an "unborn child."

34

Jpatt asks the question we all ask ourselves: Would anyone be surprised that a conservative think-tank named nine of its ten "most corrupt politicians" as Democrats?img

37

And what picture does Ken think best illustrates the concept of evolution? Why, Michelle Obamaimg, of course! BONUS: Hitler's back!img

16

The encyclopedia that does not engage in gossip wonders whether a Democratic senator is drunk during a speech?img

47

Andy can't get over the butthurt of the Lenski affair.img

16

Uncle Ed projects, "If it were proved to your satisfaction that some idea you've been using to bolster a political argument was false, would you keep using that idea in your argument?"img Wouldimg you,img Ed?img

35

Karajouimg and Philip J. Raymentimg: "The Scientific Method is the process used by scientists to conduct experiments." - Ed Poor: (almost two years later, even) "No, it's about italic, bold and colouring in scientific papers"img

-14

"A clearer, simpler introduction"!img Maybe Andy was having a very merry Christmas.

-5

Andy: HEY! I'M A LIBERAL! CALL ME ON IT!!!img

16

Jpatt: A news story from the previous dayimg posted to Wikipedia includes the words "al-Qaeda," "Taliban," "extremist" and "terrorist," but not "Muslim terrorist." This proves that liberals want to hide the truth. CP's page on the terroristimg claims that Wikipedia's page never mentions "terrorist," if one ignores the seven times the term appears in the main article.

92

The greatest Ed stub of all time.img

22

Ed's rampage causes some friendly fire: "Kill!img Kill!img Kill!img ... Shit!img Shit!img Shit!"img (Plus oneimg he forgot to clean up...)

32

User: "I think the intro sentence is missing a word."img Ed: Begone,img time-waster!img

48

Ed just realized that he hasn't fulfilled his yearly bullying quota and now has to catch up:img "Dear Evelyn, please use your real name. Also, I just deleted your article, so now you violate our 90/10 policy. Oh, and show me a Writing Plan."

-67

How DARE they? They are showing Jesus with a PENISimg

17

The wiki that doesn't accept British spelling is thinking of being multiculturalimg.

-17

Benp's AABB rhyme schemeimg lands a fatal blow to Xmas secularism! Only fitting, since true poetry did not exist before Christ.

153

Terry Koeckritz: "I made this!"img Well, TerryKake, you'd better sue these people for copyright infringement. Update: Karagoogoo questions why someone would be reading CP, and JacobB steps in to defend TK's plagiarism; "If TK said he made it, then he made it"img Update 2: Now "Fair use"img rather than "Self-made"; which is at least nice since the pictures are pixel-perfectly identical. UPDATE 3: Terry Koeckritz burns the talk pageimg for "lying." MORE: How long until thisimg and thisimg gets burned? FFS: You do not talkimg about TK's plagiarism.img MORE: Here's hoping!img

48

Ed Poor puts some "tough love"img in a new user's stocking. Merry Christmas, bitch!

13

Andy: Washington's Farewell Address proves that America is not an empire!imgAnd, for extra hilarity (and, were this anyone but Andy, a surefire Poe marker) the Monroe Doctrine proves the same.

25

JacobB: Hollywood hurts conservative kidsimg by saying intelligent design is not a science and that smart people believe evolution to be true. Why won't Hollywood think of the children???img

33

Andy gives everyone early Christmas giftsimg by trying to rationalize his BotP with more articles.

24

Another swing and a miss.img Galois was known in his lifetime and published several papers before his death; he also earned a degree and even offered classes in advanced algebra. His ideas were accepted almost immediately in mathematics.

36

Karajou: "Damn the evidence,img I'm still not convinced!"

18

How low can you go? If you're Jpatt, "combining prescription drugs,"img all legally prescribed, which caused Brittany Murphy's death, is further evidence of "Hollywood Values."

142

Andy: "The Beatles were experts, yet no song they produced was as good or as appreciated as the one-hit wonders."img Nuff said.

5

JacobB is reading a bookimg about liberal denials to add to Conservapedia. One of the first "denials" in this book is that history books include photos of the Ku Klux Klan in the 1920s! Could it be because the Klan's resurgence and peak popularity occurred in the '10s and '20s, due to anti-immigration fears and southerners still segregating blacks?

31

Uncle Ed weighs in again: "Liburls muddy waters with context and meanings. We mean 'established experts' or 'acknowledged experts'. Only a fool (or an enemy) would think (or suggest) that we meant that having expert knowledge was useless."img Funny, Ed, the pageimg has a large quote, "The best of the public is better than a group of experts." Only fools or enemies would assume you meant experts?

44

The "public" encompasses more and more people; now even starting pitchers for the New York Yankeesimg are not considered experts in their field.

23

Jinx hi Jinx!, wearing his illiteracy on his sleeve, cites a study showing that pet dogs leave a carbon footprint basically equivalent to that of a car, and has decided that it means liberals want to ban petsimg

46

Andy hates It's a Wonderful Lifeimg because it portrays humanism and not Christian truths. The movie shows George Bailey doing good deeds; apparently, to show Christian values, he should have been a complete asshole. Next on the cutting block, Bambi and its environmentalist message.

42

Liberals hate the baby Jesus!img Conservatives hate fire safety!

18

Ed: 'I tried to update Wikipedia with useful information, but they took it out because they hate useful information'[2]img. Reality: 'Ed tried to update Wikipedia with confusing information that suggests he doesn't really know what he's talking about'[3]. More So he adds a new(pisspoor) article on the same lines.

19

New user sucks up to Andyimg. Andy, being a douche: Nice try, but you should agree with me more!img

33

Andy believes that Conservapedia offers nothing fake.img Heimg shouldimg readimg hisimg siteimg moreimg often.img

61

Conservapedia, the site that thinks doctors should be forced to tell patients imaginary risks relating to abortion and vaccines, thinks making cell phone manufacturers report the levels of radiation emitted by their products is "nanny-statism".img Remember this simple rule, folks: it's only nanny-statism if a lib-burr-rul proposes it!

18

Ken, showing typical conservative confusion, manages to decorate the main page with several examples of climate changeimg, during a garbled attack on Obama.

-7

Only in conservaland: Obama wins a Nobel peace prize when he wants to continue a war,img but it should have gone to a manimg who had his own incursions.

2

Ken polishesimg the crown jewels. For an hourimg.

-2

Another hour, another attemptimg to justify the meme: "Being 'the best of the public' and not an 'expert' means you can break a record that lasts 30 years (ed. Bob Beamon won 22 of 23 track and field events prior to the Olympics where he broke the record, and whose record only stood for 23 years), or a broken clock is right more often than a working clock (ed. except for any atomic or digitally-synced clocks), or a musician who created a great song but nothing else worth mentioning (ed. except Don McLean made more than twenty albums, almost all after his best song was released)." And the best ending to an Andy insight: "Whether you understand occasional insights as inspired achievement, the work of the Spirit, or simply luck, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that greatness often comes from outside of the recognized experts." Still waiting for yours, Andy.

52

FrankC: "But the examples you use are experts! The public wouldn't understand questions about high-level math or physics."img Andy: "Many of the public can understand higher math. You show the harm of 'experts only' mentality. By pretending that only experts can understand something, you destroy my pet project. Arrogant pricks like you force Perelman into hiding."img FrankC: "Perelman fits your definition of an expert to a T. And he chose to be a recluse because of his eccentricity. Also, people who understand higher math are experts in math."img Memory holing in 3... 2... Update 1: Andy can't be wrong. "You're simply redefining 'expert.' Since Perelman didn't have a math job, he wasn't an expert. Perelman rejected the experts in math, so he wasn't an expert himself!"img

35

Another Sunday, another "insight". Now Testing Biasimg discriminates against conservatives who think there's a big invisible guy in the sky watching them all the time using "reason".

14

Ken finds an unbiased USA Today survey of happiness in each state and draws a conclusion, "Democrat and liberal states are the least happiest statesimg." Careful now, Hawaii is mostly a Democrat state that voted for Obama in 2008 presidential election (which is ranked the second happiest state).

24

Andy admits error,img promises to fix the error, all while admitting he used a liberal source and with heavy amounts of snark.

84

Andy: "Galileo's contributions were not substantial."img UPDATE: User: Surely you're joking!!!img Andy (whose insights into physics cause merriment to scientists everywhere): Sure I'm seriousimg, now go away.img

44

Karajou's new cartoonimg shows "the typical environmentalist at Copenhagen": Red on the inside, black and white green on the outside. Obviously Karajou lost the green crayon. (Careful, there; your color scheme is a little too Battleship Potemkin for comfort.)

33

To save his meme, Andy points to another example.img Andy says this "unknown", who was well known in mathematical circles, provided the solution to one of the "greatest unsolved math problems of the 20th century," but that "a leading expert was accused of improperly trying to take credit for Perelman's work,"img without citation or naming the expert. Apparently the "best of the public" is almost entirely made up of experts in his examples.

7

How do you start your day? If you're Andy, you make the Bible sound like a first-grader were describing what happened.img "A fantastic way to start the day" indeed!

33

Andy tries for another Lenski. This pulsar disproves relativity! That's why no one's published any data about it for five years.img Science: Thirty years of data for Andy. Why did the data stop? Scientists found another binary pulsar where both stars' energy reaches the earth. With PSR B1913+16, only one star of the binary system had energy which reached the earth. Why study an incomplete source of data when a new one is revealed? When will the "coverup"img end?

82

User: The "Liberal denials about history" article has got to be a joke.img Andy: You're in absurd denial. Invention is an American thing and Americans work harder than anyone else.img User: What about the Malaysian work camps where you work 12 hours a day and barely get anything to eat?img Andy: You have free will to deny basic facts. I'll bet you spend more time trying to reject the Bible than reading it.img User: I'm a member of the Plymouth Brethren, actually. Rejecting the Bible isn't in my modus operandi.img Andy: um, TL;DR, um...img

10

The psychological projection knob is wound up as it is announced that when President Obama says, "meaningful and unprecedented breakthrough,"img he is speaking in code and means "failure." Of course, a right-winger would never do anything like that!

-4

In Andyland, Conservatives can be a little liberalimg because it's "educational, effective and appropriate."

-8

In Ed's world, both atheists and Moonies are considered "Jewish"img.

7

Get out your translation dictionaries. Cover-upimg now means "not to listen to a suggestion." The Rogers Commission found no evidence of any cover-ups, just management not listening to engineers about a design flaw. And Ed? He's still an expert, not "the public."img

16

JDW: Experience helps with talent. Even common sense can't defeat a talented, experienced person.img Uncle Ed: Yeah, expertise is experience, where being an expert is only political. Al Gore got a Nobel even though he's only an expert! Encyclopedias should be about expertise, not experts.img Oi... Andy weighs in: "An expert is a particular type of person who pursued a particular credentialing path. It usually entails years of specialized learning from ages 16 to 25, at the sacrifice of other activities or pursuits. Typically experts are from middle or upper class families that value credentials. Women who have children during those ages -- the most natural ages for childbearing, are disqualified. Also, criticizing the mainstream or saying something politically incorrect is a disqualification. Only a tiny percentage of the public fits this narrow track of an 'expert'."img At least we know what Andy considers an expert in his rants.

18

Andy, gushing about the CBP: Wow!!!! The whole KJV is up on Conservapedia now!!!img A huge amount of credit is due to the man who performed a job so simple regexes could do it a spectacular feat of programming!!!

36

We are challenged to a game of chessimg

31

Andy tries to salvage his "best of the public": If Conservapedia's rules governed it, the public could collectively beat Kasparov at chess, instead of one expert.img Plus, if the public could use computers, Kasparov would lose! Andy ignores Kasparov's history against computers, and even against the world.

-8

Now what is Ed live blogging?img

11

Andy and his pet idea of "best of the public" hits another snag. I didn't realize the Boston Marathon had a new, strict qualification.img A new thing? And it appears his new choice also has requirements for entry.

56

Valid Debate, a play in three parts with intermission NP: "Was Jesus liberal or conservative?"img Andy: "There's no debate, because I translate the Bible, and there's nothing liberal in my version."img NP: "If helping the poor is a choice, why shouldn't abortion be a choice?"img Andy: "You're illogical. I just don't want to respond to your questions. You'd know the answer if you'd translate the Bible like I do."img JAiken: "Government's only good if it enforces the Bible's rules."img Andy: "That's not logical. Like my suggestion for NP, Like my suggestion for NP, read the Bible at least 5% of your life."img JAiken: "I read and discuss the Bible regularly. It's wonderful."img Andy: "Everyone says they read the Bible growing up. But do you eat vegetables or exercise regularly now? Because that's like reading the Bible. Besides, Bible discussion groups never translate the Bible. Just talking about the Bible can't reveal how logical it is."img

19

Pointing out errors in the Conservative Bible Project translationimg gets you banhammered for pulling things out of your large intestine.img

-29

Careful, there, Andy;img you might be giving a hint to your underlings that you are in desperate need of a good banhammering.

36

Freudian slip alert: Ed, urging the Wiki not to perpetuate "feminist hype," notes that womon didn't bring down the Fort Hood shooter.img

83

On the repeat of the Schlafly interview episode of The Colbert Report, Professor Schlafly instructs his class: "Stephen Colbert may have liked the high quality of this particular show and chose to replay it for that reason, or perhaps he selected it again for its educational value."img

-32

A moment of rationalityimg hits CP. Will Andy understand? Will Terry Koeckritz banhammer? These and other important questions will be answered on the next episode of Soap.

23

Chippeterson tries hardimg to come up with twenty... A bomb that "satirizes liberalism" like Mallard Fillmore satirizes Democrats, any movie (Apollo 13, Signs, Dawn of the Dead (2004)) that he can try to find a conservative message somewhere in it, and missing some obvious titles. Note: Forest Gump is now a Greatest Conservative Movie. National Review is clueless. Forrest Gump, featuring liberal Tom Hanks, is liberal claptrap.--Aschlafly 21:19, 19 July 2007img and should be removed there tooimg.

20

Credit where due: Andy makes a funnyimg.

27

The neophyte might think that Jpatt was trying to be funny here.img

26

Parodist exposed: Father Joseph, supposedly having been a priest since 1949, states that he has said "very few" Latin massesimg on account of Vatican II. Andy calls him on it.img And laughsimg his Schlafly laugh at him!

49

Andy pleads for someone to out him as a closet liberal.img

10

A long-serving conservative lib-burr-rul Democratic congressman announces that he is retiring to spend more time with his family. But Andy has it from a very reliable source that this is "liberal claptrap" and that the man is simply afraid he'll be voted out of office.img

50

Uh, Ed, you're editing a Wiki here, not programming a database.img

46

New study: More Democrats than Republicans believe in ghosts.img On the other hand more Republicans than Democrats believe in a certain holy ghost who burped the world into existence 6,000 years ago, but this escapes mention. BONUS: Ken chimes in: Only people who are gullible enough to believe in evolution would believe in ghosts!img

17

Another weakly toon. Sigh...img

34

It's Andy Insight Time: Reading the Bible is like a diet. It must be done daily. Not reading the Bible is censoring it.img Update: Andy hasn't caught on how funny this is to us: You're in denial that not devoting 5% of your time to the Bible is censoring it. You also deny Hell exists.img See? They're examples of liberal deceit!img

65

How To Be a Prick 101, in a play of five acts. User: This site seems more biased and less honest than Wikipedia. Any thoughts?img Andy: You're a liberal who hates the truth.img User: This is what I expected based on edits here...img Andy: You just want to censor classroom prayer! Would you like it if liberals were never allowed to speak in public?img User: You're creating straw men instead of discussing the bias and dishonesty here.img Andy: How about we allow liberals to have thoughts in school but never speak?img User: I would have replied earlier, but I got banned. Andy, you never addressed my concerns.img Andy: Hah! You made a typo! And how about you make some edits here before I bother responding?img User: What I would want to edit is locked. I don't want to just talk, talk, talk, but what can be done?img Andy: The typo was intentional. You're closed-minded. Until you open your mind, I will ignore you.img User: You lack an open mind, insult me, and refuse to discuss my original statements. If you want contributions, stop locking pages.img User: P.S. Don't you censor by blocking people from contributing here?img Andy: Yes I do.img Godspeed.img

20

Great new philosophy from Andy: "politics transcends all categories and all disciplines."img

32

Bert, rightly skeptical that any actual minister would ever use Conservapedia's translation of the Bible, subtly asks for some verification that the good father is who he claims to beimg. However, after being given a specific answerimg, but one difficult to verify, Bert is clearly still uncertain of this parodist, and administers in his typical incoherent, rambling fashion, his own version of an Uncle Ed writing assignmentimg.

43

Benp points out that the phrase "Thank you Conservapedia" yields nearly 900 google hitsimg, stating that's pretty good for such a small wiki. It would be, if the number weren't actually 32 unique hits all of them sarcastic (except the first, which was the talk page discussion in which the search was brought up), the ninth being an unmentionable vandal site.

51

Andy: What?! There's nothing illogical about a talking bush.img

6

Except, Andy, no one is basing their worldviews off eyewitness accounts from yesterday.img If people dismissed science, other religions, politics, economics, and other aspects of reality based on eyewitness accounts, then you'd have a point.

24

Geo.plrd deletes "Template:Stub" for being "stupid."img Two weeks later, over 800 pagesimg still have a red link to the template at the top.img

9

Ed Poor defines science.img Goto 10: Andy, why don't liberals agree with us on science?img Come see my ideas, let me know what you think.

26

DouglasA: Denying that the Tower of Babel's destruction created the world languagesimg is spreading evolutionist lies.img Remember that DouglasA hates rudeness.img

45

The Riverfront Times: "Colbert, as he is wont to do to his more loony GOP guests, mocked Schlafy mercilessly. And it was awesome." Andy, gleeful: "My Conservapedia's interview on the Colbert Report has been called a banner momentimg in Comedy Central history!"

31

WTF Andy?img Tighten that tin foil hat of yours. Do you really mean to say that spending less than 5% of your life reading the Bible (equal to approximately 4 years of nonstop reading) is censorship?img

14

Andy: "Liberal deceit has suspended the Copenhagen talks!"img Reality: African nations walk out due to issues of richer nations demanding more money of poorer nations, and fears that the Kyoto Protocol will be overturned.

6

Conservapedia is sane, no straight-jackets (sic) needed — December 9: Keynesian economic policies are destroying America!img Conservapedia, December 13: Keynesian ideas form the basis of modern economics!img

1

Ken, the Austrian School economist.img

24

Andy wondersimg why Wikipedia doesn't mindlessly repeat everything he says about abortion.

20

User: Why not confirm accounts individually?img Andy: That would compromise our mission of full and easy public access and contributions, as summarized in this page I created about myself. Godspeed!img

10

Andy: Editorializing in mainspaceimg about how Mormons are not True Christians is Wikipedia style.img

26

It is an "evolutionist lie"img to point out that brothers share more than 50% of their genes.img

54

The best example of Andy's Law since "Muslims don't dance": "An intelligent designer is not constrained by an idiotic straight-jacket of consistency."img

53

Andy gives us a linkimg to a professor damning his "translation" of the Bible. The professor "James F. McGrath is an associate professor of religion at Butler University in Indianapolis". Andy: "His one-sided article illustrates why liberals should no longer be trusted to translate the Bible in secret." Those professor values get everywhere, don't they? UPDATE: Andy realizes that he is getting too close to a libel suit.img

45

Andy: Wikipedia's math articles "merely try to show off."img (For completeness, note that Wikipedia is an encyclopedia and a repository of knowledge. The learning resource is Wikiversity.)

84

DWiggins: Andy, your anecdotal global warming evidence is bunk.img Andy: Global warming is an unfalsifiable lib-burr-rul theory and is not science.img DWiggins: I'm just saying you're giving bad evidence.img Andy: Be more logical. Reading the Bible would help.img DWiggins: This is about climatology, not theology.img BMcP: DWiggins isn't arguing for global warming.img Andy, starting to splutter: You're going against logic now. You have free will to be illogical.img DWiggins: Learn some statistics, Andy.img Andy winds up the psychological projection knob: DWiggins, you're babbling nonsense in defense of proven fraudsters who irrationally refuse to read the Bible.img GRAND FINALE: User is "Politely removed"img from site.

27

Andy is sore because the SAT II asks a question about "one of the homosexual movement's favorite pop artists."img DouglasA: Tellmewhoitisandycomeonpleasepleaseplease!img Andy: Does the name "Andy Schlafly Warhol" ring a bell?img

48

User: Can we use the dictionary definition of "liberal"?img Andy: The dictionary definition is false. Liberals are people who favor taxpayer-funded abortion, censorship of classroom prayer, and just about anything that is anti-Christian.img

51

Karajou thinks people in 1491 held the earth to be flat.img A user sets him straightimg and is dulyimg rewarded.img. But Andy himself disagrees.img

9

User: Andy, how many of your students did well on AP history?img Andy (four minutes later after some serious research): All of them.img

62

User: Andy, I work in a scientific field and I've never met a biologist who denies evolution.img Andy: You need to get out more, then. And I bet you don't read the most logical book ever, the Bible.img

37

User: Hitler twisted both evolution and Christianity.img Andy: Do you deny that Josef Mengele was an evolutionist?img

44

Andy: "Logic prevails. That's why the American voters continue to move to the right."img Andy apparently missed the last two elections.

24

Bert is thankfulimg that Conservapedia censors opposing views while embracing crazy far-right ideology without a need for citations.

40

Andy: Wikipedia is asic like a 3rd grade essay contest that gives points for more words.img Psychological projection much? Furthermore, Wikipedia is an encyclopedia without lectures and model answersimg. Who ever heard of such a thing? This just in: Wikipedia has never helped a student like Conservapedia has!img If only there were evidence...

42

Jinx hi Jinx!: Obama's Nobel Peace Prize is a sloppy wet kiss from socialists.img A greater man would've turned it down. BMcP: Uh, Jinx, the only man who ever turned the prize down was a Red.img

46

Colbert viewer: Andy, your blog is more biased than Wikipedia.img Andy: We shock liberals with startling new information at which they pretend to be offended. That's how they argue for censoring school prayer.img Colbert viewer: I wasn't surprised, and prayer wasn't censored in my public high school.img Andy: You must support censoring conservative speech. Let's banhammer liberals allow liberals only to "silently" express themselves in a moment of silence for them.img

4

Ed apparently missed Andy's memoimg about there being no conservatives in Europe at all, let alone on the university faculties there.

35

Jpatt: Jimmy Carter is a "racist Jew-basher"img.

24

Stephen Colbert has taught Jpatt some fancy new words.img

27

It seems that Andy has no hard feelings toward Colbertimg What was that again about liberal friendship, Andy?

-14

And the site has crashed. Colbert Nation must have been a bit too much...

-3

The first of the Colbert visitorsimg is blocked politely removedimg.

67

Andy on his Conservapedia's upcoming Colbert Report appearance: Hopefully we won't have to explain what the Bible is!img Stephen Colbert teaches Sunday school. Tonight, who will be schooling whom?

60

The weeks get shorter and the toons get weakerimg.UPDATE:and weakerimg

19

Economics student: The answer is 1000 divided by 1.12.img Andy: Incorrect.img The answer is actually 1000 divided by 1.12. The next day: Andy: "I don't why I mis-graded this the first time."img [sic]

272

Andyimg is going to be on the Colbert Report.

88

Andy arms his troops with hollow-point soundbitesimg for the upcoming Conservapedia media onslaught. In other news, Andy sits nervously by the phone waiting for Rupert Murdoch's purchase offer.

18

The weakest of the weakly toons so farimg Although quim-free this time!

-9

Bert adds his rejected Chick tractimg script to Conservapedia.

104

Parodist: I am a pastor, and I will use your conservative Bible to lead my flockimg. Andy: You will have the honour to be the first of the "not unexpected" many!img

149

"It was intended that when Newspeak had been adopted once and for all and Oldspeak forgotten, a heretical thought—that is, a thought diverging from the principles of Ingsoc—should be literally unthinkableimg, at least so far as thought is dependent on words."

31

TK: This is an encyclopedia, dammit, so we don't have to explain our viewpoints to you dirty liberals!img UPDATE: Block of Infinite ain't enough...INFINITE x2!img

9

Ed, whose brain is obviously stuck circa 1991, makes a stubimg with more red links than actual text.

9

Andy gets help from an unlikely source.img It's sad how wrong they are.

28

Jesus taketh the stretcher, perceiveth the closed-mindedness, and reason is a synonym for doubt. He doth decree it.img

21

Andy: We here at CP embrace "open minds" and "free speech," just don't use them here.img