Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?

Keep up to date with what is going on at the extremist blog Conservapedia with our rolling reports of the strange, contradictory or humorous activity there. We report, you decide which entries make it to the top of Best of Conservapedia by using the red and green arrows to vote the winners up and the stinkers down! If you are contributing for the first time please read the instruction manual.

Archives

What is going on?

Trus me Conservapedia

Introduction

Newcomer's Guide What is going on?

Commentary

Best of Conservapedia Blatant plagiarism Differences with Wikipedia Hijacked articles "SDG" "TZB" "Fab Five" Sysops Timeline CP in the media

In-depth analysis

Active users Illustrated guide

Fun

Article Matrix Greatest Insights Parthian Shots v - t - e

Latest

131

Hey rob? We understand why you need the picture of mass graves for the communism article. But what's with the file's title?img. Rob? (NSFW)[Oh.

17

TKHi TK!: Don't point out fellow Conservapedians' errors!img Don't you know those rat vandals will just WIGO it?UPDATE: Oversighted.

29

Good luck with that, SamF.img TeaKaked: We don't need no stinkin' FACTS!img MORE: Andy: "God bless you, SamF, for archiving and clearing up this page!img" TightKnickers: DIE, Prevaricatorimg.

43

User 188 packs the stupid into one post:img Biologists don't study humans to find out what makes them unique (sorry anthropologists), biologists follow Lenin in making humans technically animals (sorry genetics), biologists are short-sighted and wrong about humans being animals (sorry biologists), anthropology and psychology may be sciences but they must follow conservative principles and beliefs (sorry scientific method), and one should pick a side - science or the conservative Christian deity (sorry all other faiths)!

58

User: I don't think Jews serving in the U.S. military would appreciate being referred to as "Christian soldiers"img. TK: I doubt it would bother them, and if not they'll just have to "get over it"img.

83

DMorris: Andy, here's what my school is like.img JacobB: High word-to-substance ratio!img Andy: DMorris, your public school does not fit my preconceptions. Ergo, you're a liberal. Do I have to run checkuser on you?img DMorris: Here's the IPs I edited from, and why I'm not a liberal.img Then, to top it off, he adds a summary that Andy might able to read through if he tries really hard.img UPDATE "I'm in charge here..."img The asshole has spoken.

39

Terry Koeckritz: Not a Christian? Shut up and appreciateimg that Jesus said, "I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life."

Earlier entries

38

Andy: A court ruling permitting corporations to make political ads during campaigns will apparently end the lib-burr-rul media's monopoly over elections.img Obviously the media outlets aren't corporations at all.

30

Liberal user:img Why celebrate this court decision,img since it also means the liberal media and Hollywood can flood politicians with money? JacobB: Infinite Ban! Wuhao: That's too long. She was disrespectful, but... JacobB: INFINITE BAN!img more: JacobB: The user wasn't banned for something she said here, so don't change it!img Wuhao: But why was she banned? We don't ban people for what they do elsewhere, right?img JacobB: I will not discuss it in public.img Wuhao: Yes, master.img UPDATE: Terry Koeckritz unblocks user with a, "You'll just have to try harder to become a marytr to your vandal pals."

46

Karajou: Sorry, folks, but I can't come up with new material. Here's what the same joke would look like after you run it through a mulcher.img

48

Conservative: Someone on YouTubeimg likes me! Yes, someone on Youtube who talks to his dog about Obama's socialism. You're like kindred spirits!

23

TeaKakkke says: "Liberals only tell half-truths! Want proof? They pathologically hate the SDI!"img And while you're at it, "get some integrity and/or find the truth."

14

Another Conservative win as formerly Communistic Europeimg becomes more liberal? God Bless Ronald Reagan!

-4

TK unwittingly contradicts himself.img

85

Andy wants a disclaimerimg for any distance over 6,000 lightyears and he's not letting goimg. BMcP makes the mistake of introducing factsimg, which just makes Andy angrierimg. ASSUMPTIONS, M*****ER! BMcP writes a reply for the agesimg: "My only assumption is that scientists don't constantly lie." Farewell BM, we hardly knew thee.

29

TK: For the last time; don't suggest that it's not OK to slap women!img Bloody liberals...

51

DMorris: At my public school, God isn't taboo and they don't promote atheism.img Andy: Your school pulls students toward atheism. Atheists try harder to mislead better students. Students at an "F"-rated public school are more spiritually free of liberal propaganda.img

18

Senators said to be liberal in 2010 are said to be acting differently from senators said to be liberal in 1962. This apparently constitutes a double standard.img

33

Three sysops inject their own logical fallacy, all in one place! Ed: Is it a First Amendment violation if children become atheists after attending public school? Is atheism a religion?img Andy: Public schools unconstitutionally promote atheism. And by the way, Scott Brown won the election yesterday.img Karajou: Atheistsimg believe in the non-existence of God.

57

User: Why is Wikipedia's citation of Hans Bethe, a Nobel laureate and Manhattan Project scientist, with regard to SDI "inexplicable"?img Andy: Bethe is a liberal, hence knows diddly-squat about engineering, and you're inflating his achievements because you're a liberal too.img Then, finding out that the man is dead: Hans Bethe is with Ted Kennedy now!img User: But everything I said about Bethe was perfectly true.img Andy, getting hot and bothered: Bethe was a liberal hack and a liberal blowhard and was clueless about engineering.img (So much for Best of the Public!)

18

From another Ed stub: Whether human beings have more than a physical nature is rarely examined in an objective wayimg (or, in other words, a way that fits Ed's presumptions on the subject).

5

Ken's toots his own hornimg regarding attention to the Atheism article. And, it only took 3 edits to get it right this time!

32

AlexWD: It is "just silly"img to list cross-dressing as a liberal trait. But it is, of course, perfectly all right to include bestiality, finger-pointing and intellectual dishonestyimg on that list. UPDATE: TK: Better protect this article for a week.img

23

Subliminal messaging quiz! Spot the "obscene expression" in RJJensen's sentence, "Miles Standish had to beat off an Indian attack on the third expedition."img Heard of context, DanielPulido?

0

And the gloating beginsimg... and continues...img

16

Daniel1212: Non-Christians try to resolve the problem of evil in various ways, but THE BIBLE SAYS THEY'RE WRONG! HAHAHAHA! Case closed!img

48

Andy: I don't read no stinkin' newspapers!img Except, of course, for the Washington Post,img the Boston Herald,img the >ugh!< New York Times,img the Daily Telegraph,img ...

12

Andrew Schlafly, Esq., indicts himself: "Ye lawyers shall be accountable too! For ye impose burdensome regulations and transaction costs."img But in the same edit that he puts the term into the Conservative Bible, he says that the use of the term "'transaction costs' should be reconsidered."

50

Terry Koeckritz momentarily forgetsimg which Wiki he's editing.

35

RobS drags Reed Harris RJJensen before the tribunal: Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party? What did you mean by this suspicious sentence in a book you published twenty years ago?img The good professor replies,img and is correctedimg. The Red Rob Guard is watching you, filthy, (shades of gray), intellectual!img MORE: RobSmith challenges RJJensen againimg, but proves way out of his depthimg.

46

Dear Ed, Nobody cares.img Sincerely, All Humans.

57

Glove slap: Ed overwrites JacobB's talk pageimg with a demand for a writing plan. UPDATE: Ed wants to show JacobB a little more gentleness.img UPDATE 2: I dare you to block me, Ed!img

8

Daniel1212 gets all hot and botheredimg over some liberal revisionist sophist claptrapimg about "Bible," "women" and "equal" belonging in the same sentence.img In response, he wants to bring in opinions from people who think churches are full of men wearing skirts. That'll be the day!

44

User: Andy, you should write a memoir about the building of Conservapedia.img Andy: Books, schmooks; we're so hot and modern that books are the horse-and-buggy to our Tin Lizzie!img

20

CP:Chileans are disgusted with liberal control of the country, so they elect a conservativeimg. Reality (from CP's own source):After liberal candidate Eduardo Frei concedes when it looks like conservative Sebastian Pinera is going to get 52% of the vote, liberal President Michelle Bachelet leaves office with an 80% approval rating.

3

To fear sexual corruption, you must first understand it - and no-one goes to more effort to understand it better than Ed Poorimg. In order to fear it, you see.

58

TK: "Books are also another example of a liberal trap!"img (That's a quote, not a paraphrase!)

27

Ed: We must understand dozens of economic ideas to have a discussion about the economy.img To facilitate this understanding, he makes a stub with a wingnut blog entry for a source.img

13

User: I hope people will do something nice for MLK Jr. Day.img Terry Koeckritz quickly adds a newsbite fawning overimg the exemplar of liberalism,img then responds, As we said on our mainpage, user, this is a National Day of Service to Honor Doctor King!img

22

Andy logic: I am splendid; therefore, my students are splendid; therefore, their thoroughly average score is splendid,img despite falling pretty much exactly between the average pass/fail cutoff of 50 and the highest possible score of 80

7

Andy trimsimg newsbitesimg from the main page because "readers can't keep up at this fast rate." But the only things going onto the news column at a fast rate are Ken's micro-edits.img

32

Daniel links an "interesting article"img about Haiti to TK's talk page. From the same website's "about us" page: "What we call race realism is what was considered traditional common sense until perhaps the 1950s. It is a body of views that was so taken for granted it had no name, but it can be summarized as follows: That race is an important aspect of individual and group identity, that different races build different societies that reflect their natures, and that it is entirely normal for whites (or for people of any other race) to want to be the majority race in their own homeland. If whites permit themselves to become a minority population, they will lose their civilization, their heritage, and even their existence as a distinct people." TK responds: "It is! Perhaps you could use it to improve our Haiti article!"img

26

Ken adds a pictureimg "to enhance the Obama-Waterloo theme of the main page. No thanks are necessary from the liberal side of the aisle."img Half an hour later, "we reuse the ____ is Obama's Waterloo metaphor for the benefit of the liberal side of the aisle."img

21

Andy wonders when public schools will teachimg what Waterloo was in history! One also wonders when Andy will look up what "one's Waterloo" means in a dictionary.

33

How does the world work in Andy's head? Sarah Palin flubbed the question about what periodicals she readsimg because liberals expect the answer to be the New York Times or the Washington Post. If she mentioned local papers, she would have been ridiculed by liberals. Therefore the question is dimwitted because it sparks "baseless criticism."

45

Are you a big fan of Richard Dawkins? If so you probably search for Doug Jesseph, a totally unrelated scholar who happens to have defended an atheist standpoint in a debate in 1996, on Google on a daily basis right? Well tough cookie. We are number 1!!!img

58

TK to RJJ: It's on!!!img UPDATE: Professor Jensen dares to question an Andy Insight™img

-12

Ken's breaking news: Shockingly, a right-wing Facebook group is stumping for a right-wing candidate!img

37

RJJensen: Plagiarism is only plagiarism if you try to wow your professors with it.img

47

Andy applies his formula of correlation = causation to produce a delusion of grandeur: An entire website apparently shut down when exposed and criticized on Conservapedia.img

30

Oh yeah! The creationists roll out the big guns in the battle against evolution: a Kajagoogoo weakly toon!img

93

It's bye-bye chivalry, as Andy trumpets the conservative value of woman-slapping: No "distortions by feminist ideology" in this film where "conservative values triumph over liberal ones"; A leading man slaps a woman,img although he gets "beaten up by dimwitted bystanders." (Emphasis added.) Update: Said bystanders were dimwitted beceause the weren't homoschooled!img

18

Ed continues cranking out pseudoscientific blather.img Now history is science, and it is unscientific not to ignore the entire philosophical basis of science study the supernatural "scientifically."

2

Non-scientist User 188 asks, "How and when is (the scientific method) really used?"img And it wouldn't be Uncle Ed without the creepiness factor: "Most good things that happen with kids (or in any other setting) are inadvertent, a sideshow to the planned purpose of an activity."

5

Uncle Ed fact checksimg a statement over two years old.img How about Article I, Section 8? Wasn't that hard, Uncle Ed? GOAT: Why bother fact checking when Geo can just make it vanish?img

39

User 188's expertise on biology: Humans are not part of the Eukarya kingdom of Animalia.img Update: Humans aren't animals because no liberals would like to be called an animal.img

43

Andy's expertise in anthropology:img "Apes don't make and wear clothes, make and use real tools, read and write, pray, or build civilizations. Yes, those are very significant characteristics of humans and to ignore them is to live in denial." And ideological block goes --> hereimg (bonus points for admitting it in the block comment, TK - you're barely human even if you're not an ape) followed by the now-familiar "I know where you live."img

88

Jensen on TK: "But what are TK's "orthodox" positions? Does he really have any? he never tells us--he never writes articles, he only erases the work of people who do the writing here.img UPDATE: after TK burns RJs response, RJ tries to take down TKs now-unanswered response, but TK puts it back and burns both diffs.

39

Andy logic: Liberals use the New York Times as their Bible,img NYT references CP in one opinion piece about non-CP stuff, therefore liberals use CP as their Bible!

47

User: "Islam is evilimg because of honor killings!" - RJJ "Whoa,img not so fast! Do not attack a monotheistic religion even if you think it is theologically incorrect. That undermines Conservapedia's crusade against atheism."img Guess Barack ("Hussein") Obama is all right, then!

12

RJJensen reinsertsimg an accurate analysis of accusation against the Tea Party Movement that Jpatt had removed.img Jpatt declines to take it lying down.img

23

Joe Lieberman, who almost single-handedly derailed health care reform, who unapologetically cheered the Iraq War, who was reportedly very nearly John McCain's running mate, is a liberalimg according to Andy.

22

Citations? We don't need no steenkeeng citations to announce that the UN's former Chief Weapons Inspector was arrested on internet sex charges.img (Maybe it's 'cause he's a Republican and used to work for Fox News?)

73

Haiti was devastated by its earthquake through a lack of U.S.-style economic freedomimg because "economic freedom saves lives." Interesting insight! OR, it could be because Haiti's poverty is caused by centuries of debt exploitation, not unfree markets, and the abatement of property damage in California is itself due to the the liberal California government's onerous and intrusive regulation of building codes.

128

Conservapedia examines the nature of absolute claims! User: It's a myth that atheists have built zero hospitals, here's an example.img Andy: I doubt your isolated claim and do not care to Google it,img thus there is no denying that atheists are uncharitableimg. User: OK, here are some cites.img TK: Singular examples (sic) do not disprove Andy's claimimg. Ed Poor: Even if you discover an exception, Andy's still rightimg. But of course a single counterexample disproves evolution, right Andy?img UPDATE: Terry Koeckritz: "Those who come here to argue and debate us will find their visit short" (read: fuck off).img

6

NVConservative: I don't care if this is a direct word for word quoting of an original work, we can't have any of that Un-Merikan Brit spellingsimg on Conservapedia. TK reproves NVcon and claims to have reverted the edit.img Took him an hour and a halfimg.

58

ChrisY: "I urge you to donate to the Red Cross as they're really quick helping on the scene of a disaster." Ed Poor:img "How can they possibly want to save lives as much as a church? You're an idiot." Bonus Hypocrisy: 39 minutes later Ed, who in a massive freudian slip mentions hypocrisy in the edit comment, suggests that a secular organisationimg is the goods--apparently completely rejecting the notion of church run fire services.

115

Conservapedia, in a nutshell: User: Facts!img Andy: Rant!img TK: Bye!img

51

Think stub and you will stay stub.img

-43

JacobB: "Now liberals are attacking one of the largest and most generous charitable organizations, the Salvation Army, for not providing domestic partner benefits to its homosexual employees and for "discriminating against illegal immigrants." Jab5000: "Why, that's terrible! those homosexuals and illegal immigrants are people too! Salvation Army will pay!" [1]img

84

Ed Poor objects to pleas for money for Haitian earthquake reliefimg, comparing them to the Oil For Food Scandal. (And creates CP's page on the scandalimg for good measure.) He then goes on to argue you should give to churches insteadimg.

32

MattS: "The ricin molecule is irreducibly complex!"img Nature: "Ricin's two proteins evolved, and here's how."

38

Karajou: Ha ha! Lib-rulls introduced a new tax, and now some gay fellaimg has got to pay it! Erm...

74

TK is an utter cunt cretin. (I'm sorry, I can't think of a better WIGO for this, but this level of sheer awfulnessimg needs highlighting) Later: A user queriesimg the statement and of course gets reverted and blockedimg.

32

High school and college students have mental health concerns relating to an obsession with wealth. Therefore, they should turn off their televisions and read the Bible,img even though, as we all know, he who maketh a lot of money in the free market shall be called greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

46

Terry Koeckritz on global warming: "So, record low temperatures this past week is the result of climate change, record high temperatures in the summer is the result of climate change?img" Obviously not, as we all know that cold temperaturesimg and warm temperaturesimg in winter are evidence against climate change. BONUS ELITIST HUBRIS: Poor countries are suffering under global warming because of "God's plan!"img

19

User:Daniel1212 "Do you know why this page is constantly loading? It never fully loads...", User:TK " No idea at all, other than the server is sometimes slow due to the vandal site membersimg.

35

Andy: Our students are doing this to learn, not merely to impress institutions.img This from the fellow who used an SAT-preparation book as the class text. Update: "A record 28 teenagers achieved college-level scores on our Economics Final Exam, attaining the equivalent of a passing grade on the CLEP exam that would be worth 3 units of college credit"img Out of at least 35 exams graded (by Andy), not using CLEP questions. But he's not out to impress anyone.

18

Jpatt is under the delusion that NPR would completely collapseimg without the CPB — which provides only 2% of its operating budget.

52

User: We forgot to offer Christmas well-wishes to the major non-Western denomination of Christians on the day they observe it. Ed (the Grinch) Poor: First write the Orthodox Christmas article, then request recognition!img

39

JacobB: "While you're technically right,img I'll still ban you for arguing about the Bible."img Update: TK wants to go Uncle Ed on JacobB.img

120

Muscle carsimg are conservative and give "highly efficient performance", whilst also celebrating masculine style against erosion by feminism.img

77

The truth hurts, TKimg. It really does.

17

Addison has turned into such a good little Andybot.img Obviously one answer to his question, the Declaration of Independence, is not good enough.

-13

New rule, from Terry Koeckritz, not found anywhere in the guidelines, that will get you blocked on Conservapedia: no edits for nearly two years.img Better get those socks posting again, folks.

43

User 188 is on the stupid path today. "Can we call evolution 'pseudoscience' because its promoters never want to think they're wrong?"img Here, Ed, read this. It may have too much jargon for you to follow.

48

Uncle Ed moves an article from mainspace to its author's pageimg due to it being an "unsatisfactory article," even though it is fairly complete and filled with mathematical explanations. Bonus: "Can you make this page easier for me to read? I don't get it. If you want to write technical stuff that I, your Uncle Eddy high school kids can't understand, go to Wikipedia!"img

68

User 188 "defies the liberal model"img of explaining science, points out that girls are stupid.

45

Uncle Ed creates a categoryimg as a warning to CP's usual crowd: "Contains BIG words!"

60

It's up, only 48 minutes late!img And it starts off with a bang: "1. Suppose a friend asked you, 'Did your Economics course have homework questions on the topic of prayer?' You would best reply might be, 'No, there were not many Economics questions about prayer, because..." We're still unsure whether Andy wants to hear a) prayer is free or b)c)d)e) prayer sucks.

46

"Almost all" children born of incest today are "deformed." On the other hand Egyptian pharaohs who married their sisters had "normal" children. This proves the YEC talking point about harmful mutations being the source of all inbreeding problems.img

24

For some reason, addingimg a link to a liberal far-left organization's articleimg from the liberal bias article gets one revertedimg and wrist-slapped by Andy for "non-substantive edits."img

13

Andy gets a hard on for the "biggest vote of the homosexual agenda"img of the past seven days? Update: Andy's brother is no more?img

21

Karajou lets on that he is a fan of the cruel aspects of natural selection or at least stupid jokes about the Darwin Awardsimg

77

Andy loses an argument, is shown how he's wrong about his relativity arguments, and even is quoted from the Bible. His response? "Godspeed, for last wordism, personalizing criticism, and basically wasting the time of others without enough substantive editing"img Andy, when will you block yourself for the same?

51

Liberal:img "often a liberal is merely someone who craves attention." Andy: Largest group from New Jersey! Largest group not affiliated with any church or school!img

45

According to Karajou, there is currently an anti-Christian Holocaust underwayimg. Who knew?

146

Andy: "The healing powers of Jesusimg happened instantly, which means they traveled faster than light, disproving relativity." - Frank: "Jesus was performing a miracle. They violate realityimg pretty much by definition" - Andy: "The works done by Jesus were merely signsimg and not miracles. And signs are simply disclosuresimg of reality." - Frank: "Scholars, the Bible, your Bible and your encyclopedia disagreeimg with you." - Andy: "I see you did your research, and I wish you would stopimg doing that. Can't you make up your facts like I do?"

62

Relativity, bane of scienceimg

-9

TK the merciful?img

24

For Andy, homosexuality's futureimg comes down to a vote in the New Jersey senate.

-6

Libruls ruined the economyimg (despite Obama not taking power until 2009). ALSO, THEY'VE HIRED TRANSVESTITES TO MAKE IT WORSE!

-25

Jake tarts upimg the Banach-Tarski Paradoxpage and asks Ed (Maths person!) to look at it (after Ed 'fessed that It doesn't make sense to himimg). Sorry Jake: it's harder than 1 + 1 = 2 so out of his league.

41

Jpatt gives us a wonderful insight into what he considers to be encyclopedic languageimg. Andy is less than impressedimg

18

A fun new fact about Ed that he wants you to know: he's a Wikipedian!img

6

So much for 'pro-life'img

7

Terry Koeckritz admits that he'd rather be feared than likedimg

29

Ken really seems to have a thing for fat dykesimg.

27

Ed: America is arguably the world's sole source of medical innovation.img Uh, right; the Wade-Dahl-Till valve obviously underwent a secret invention in the U.S. before surfacing in Britain.

66

User points out UK conservatives are different than US conservatives.img Andy: "I smite thee with my Schlafly Quote Generator!"img

95

And what is Kendoll's reaction to Dawkins calling God a dickhead? "Hey Dawkins! how 'bout them fat-ass lezbos!"img

1

Andy pretty much admits that CP is unaffiliated with schoolimg

74

Andy to User: You can't just claim that something is subjective when you disagree with it and objective when you agree with it!img (Also, the factual questions of science are somehow comparable to the value questions of the Best Conservative Movie.)

110

Richard Dawkins says God is "unjust", "unforgiving" and a "bully". Andy: God will punish him for this insult!img

9

DouglasA calls Uncle Ed's Moonie-stubimg "blasphemous."img

9

So why did Andy and others spend so much time debating top ten conservative films,img Terry Koeckritz?

13

User 188 is still cranky from his butthurt on WP. Contributing user banned by Karajou on Dec. 30.img User 188 further bans user the following day. January 2, User 188 deletes user's pageimg for "probation." Then reverts user's edits.img A little ironyimg to top it all off.

29

Andy uncovers another conspiracy. "The NIV uses the word 'womb' only 57 times, compared with 70 times by the NASB and 82 times by the ESV. Revisions to the NIV further promote feminist distortions."img Mama Schlafly would be proud!

22

Andy tries to pull together his BotP, his CBP with Greatest Kid Achievements:img "interesting example of best of the public as a woman shouts from the crowd" is more profound because "the 'particular woman' could well have been Mark's mom, and exemplifies the best of the public here."

-3

Karajou goes for the BIGGEST ASSHOLE AWARD of 2010, before Terry Koeckritz can try. User registers,img makes no edits, and is blocked 128 minutes laterimg for "Abuse of legitimate ISP for trolling / vandalism purposes."

25

Nothing like starting out 2010 with some spiteful homophobia,img eh, Andy?

65

How reality works on Planet Andy Conservapedia: The Telegraph chooses ten conservative films that are "clueless and obscure."img All the movies won major awards, and all but one were blockbusters.