Difference between revisions of "Ann Coulter"

Revision as of 19:28, 18 April 2008

For those living in an alternate reality, Conservapedia has an "article" about Ann Coulter

Stunning, petite, debonaire blonde (cluster) bombshell Ann Coulter has built a career as a political "pundit" of sorts by writing and saying extreme, inflammatory versions of the so-called "acceptable" right wing talking points. The "acceptable" versions use code words and skilled rhetoric to make them sound reasonable. Ms. Coulter says what their proponents are "really thinking". On this basis, it is hard to tell whether she serves the right wing in a useful way, or just creates red meat for liberal commentators to seize upon and chew, as a lightning rod.

Ann Coulter is very unpopular in some quarters (such as William Shatner's). She is also said by some to be a self publicist, however she disagrees with that weekly in her television and press appearances.

Sadly, there are those who think she is a 'petite', reasonable, intelligent person with much to offer the marketplace of political discourse.

There are also, sadly, RW editors who think she is "hot".

Historical revisionism

Ann Coulter, circa 1995.

The 'petite', vicious Coulter has been accused as a perpetrator of historical revisionism--basically an Orwellian crime that wipes out the truth from history. Coulter distorts historical records by minimizing, denying, perverting, bending or simply ignoring the facts. Writer John McNally comments "My new novel, America's Report Card, is dedicated to Ann Coulter, but it's not a warm and loving dedication. It reads, "To America's Iago, Ann Coulter, for rewriting history to suit her own nefarious purposes." [1]

Gene Garman also states that «...Coulter writes about "the nonexistent 'separation of church and state' they claim is in the Constitution." ...Coulter denies the existence of a word ("church") which is not in the Constitution. Hello? Coulter fails to quote James Madison's commentary about "separation between Religion and Government in the Constitution"»...[2]

However, the 'petite' Coulter's most dangerous attempt at revisionism is her view on McCarthysm. In an incredibly titled chapter "THE INDISPENSABLE JOE MCCARTHY" of her book "TREASON: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism", Coulter goes to the extreme of comparing the mad witch-hunter with a martyr. "The myth of ‘McCarthyism’ is the greatest Orwellian fraud of our times," Coulter pounds. "Liberals are fanatical liars, then as now. Everything you think you know about McCarthy is a hegemonic lie." [3]

In Defense of a Lovely Lady (with a lovely and unused mind)

Ann Coulter, "the petite embodiment of women's aspirations for equality in the marketplace of ideas" is most certainly not a "she-devil". That is just liberal hate speech^[1], and clearly directed at all women, of whom Ann Coulter represents the vast majority. Actually, no, she doesn't, we aren't supposed to be anti-female any more, remember?

She is (in)famous for the massive amount of unbiased truth present in her commentaries. She makes use of many intelligent arguments to persuade others to accept freedom. Ann Coulter is a perfectly sane Christian who believes in equal rights and religious freedom. Her one bad characteristic is her unsettling tendency to brutally rape words so that they no longer mean anything.

In 2001 Coulter was named one of the top 100 Public Intellectuals by federal judge Richard A. Posner. Posner, an appointee of Republican president Ronald Reagan, provoked outrage in the legal community in 1999 when, in an article in Raritan magazine, he contended that "the rule of law is an accidental and dispensable element of legal ideology", and caused another stir in an article that put forth the argument that buying and selling babies on the free market would lead to better outcomes than the present situation of government-regulated adoption. Of course, the Top 100 Public Intellectuals is a bit of an interesting idea. 'She agrees with me and makes loads of propaganda for me to win! She's so SMART!' Uh huh.

Ipecac challenge

In conservative circles, the ipecac challenge is a popular pastime. She is the reigning champion of the challenge. Though her beginnings with the challenge are humble (she used it to maintain her petite figure) she is, in fact, considered the greatest ipecac challenger of all time, as she has gone through over three-hundred challenges without a defeat. Only Karl Rove has been able to even remotely hang with Ann.

Publications

She is responsible for many crimes against humanity in book form, including^[2]:

High Crimes and Misdemeanors: The Case Against Bill Clinton In which Ann tried to get in good with Clinton by playing hard to get. She really wanted to be Monica, but she was too skinny.
Slander: Liberal Lies About the American Right This book argued that good old G.W. was treated badly by the media [except Fox News, who won him the election (them and the Supreme Court)] It was on The New York Times Best Seller list for seven weeks, proving that Conservatives can read (Although it has been argued by evolutionist scientists^{[citation needed]} that conservatives may have only bought the book, partly to get it on the bestseller list and partly because they may have actually felt smart buying a book, before going home to stare at the pretty and colourful pictures on the cover, upside down).
Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism This book argues something, but as most readers with a brain stem vomited violently after eight or nine pages, the argument is still lost. This book also spent time on the Best Seller list (13 weeks) It is believed that sales of the Bible fell dramatically as a result.
How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must): The World According to Ann Coulter This wasn't actually a book, but a collection of columns penned by Coulter. It is assumed that Ann was having liposuction to remove the 3 ounces of fat found at a recent physical.^[3]
Godless: The Church of Liberalism In this tome, Coulter argues that the Librulz reject God and hate those who don't. She also argues that Liberalism is a religion in itself, a connection which made sense in her mind. Godless debuted at number one on The New York Times Best Seller list. Shortly thereafter, the Hudson River turned to blood.
If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans was published in October, 2007, but Stephen Colbert's Book I am America (And so can you) came out at the same time, so no one gave a damn.

Despite the many books, Coulter is best known as the woman who ran shrieking when confronted by a pie (not to be confused with pi) in Arizona. This was not from fear of the assault, as usually assumed, but because the sight of the fat-filled desert utterly terrified her.

Quotes

Petite Lady Talking

"Everyone says liberals love America, too. No they don't. Whenever the nation is under attack, from within or without, liberals side with the enemy. This is their essence. The left's obsession with the crimes of the West and their Rousseauian respect for Third World savages all flow from this subversive goal. If anyone has the gaucherie to point out the left's nearly unblemished record of rooting against America, liberals turn around and scream 'McCarthyism!'"^[4]
"If Hitler hadn't turned against their beloved Stalin, liberals would have stuck by him, too."
"Liberals used to tell us they were teaching fisting to fourth graders."
"My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building."
"It would be a much better country (the United States) if women did not vote. That is simply a fact. In fact, in every presidential election since 1950 - except Goldwater in '64 - the Republican would have won, if only the men had voted."

External links

Sources

Coulter, Ann (2003), Treason: Liberal Treachery From the Cold War to the War on Terrorism, Crown Forum, ISBN 1-4000-5030-8

References and notes

↑ CP:Liberal Hate Speech
↑ The following list was ripped and modified from Wikipedia
↑ I so made that up
↑ Coulter 2003, p. 1

[1] CP:Liberal Hate Speech

[2] The following list was ripped and modified from Wikipedia

[3] I so made that up

[4] Coulter 2003, p. 1

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

@@ Line 33: / Line 33: @@
 *''High Crimes and Misdemeanors: The Case Against Bill Clinton'' In which Ann tried to get in good with Clinton by playing hard to get. She really wanted to be Monica, but she was too skinny.
-*''Slander: Liberal Lies About the American Right''  This book argued that good old G.W. was treated badly by the media [except Fox News, who won him the election (them and the Supreme Court)] It was on The New York Times Best Seller list for seven weeks, proving that Conservatives can read(Although it has been argued by evolutionist scientists that conservatives may have only bought the book, partly to get it on the bestseller list and partly because they may have actually felt smart buying a book, before going home to stare at the pretty and colourful pictures on the cover, upside down).
+*''Slander: Liberal Lies About the American Right''  This book argued that good old G.W. was treated badly by the media [except Fox News, who won him the election (them and the Supreme Court)] It was on The New York Times Best Seller list for seven weeks, proving that Conservatives can read (Although it has been argued by evolutionist scientists{{fact}} that conservatives may have only bought the book, partly to get it on the bestseller list and partly because they may have actually felt smart buying a book, before going home to stare at the pretty and colourful pictures on the cover, upside down).
 *''Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism''  This book argues something, but as most readers with a brain stem vomited violently after eight or nine pages, the argument is still lost.  This book also spent time on the Best Seller list (13 weeks) It is believed that sales of the [[Bible]] fell dramatically as a result.
 *''How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must): The World According to Ann Coulter'' This wasn't actually a book, but a collection of columns penned by Coulter.  It is assumed that Ann was having liposuction to remove the 3 ounces of fat found at a recent physical.<ref>I so made that up</ref>