Noah
From RationalWiki
Noah is an Old Testament character who made the second great Covenant with God after the Great Flood. He is also famous for getting drunk, passing out naked, and then cursing his son for seeing him naked.
[edit] Biography
Noah was likely born some time in some place in the Near East, probably around what is now called the "Cradle of Civilization". Of course, no one but God survived to witness these events, making them true Facts of a Christian nature [1] On or about Noah's 480th Birthday [2] Noah was told by God that it was gonna rain hard, and he better build himself a boat. Then god sent down apparently detailed blueprints of a never-before-considered and extremely complex (yet simple enough to build with bronze age tools[3]) Ark that would hold two[4] of every animal (including dinosaurs, unicorns and dragons!) that lived on the earth along with enough food and complex rain catching devices to keep those animals alive for roughly 365 days.
At the age of 600 years, Noah got himself, his kids and his pet T-Rexes onto the Big Boat and they sailed around the world in 40 days.
Noah, an honorable man, was forced to curse his son when he (his son) saw him (Noah) naked after a night of debauchery. [5]
Noah died 950 years after he was born.
[edit] Footnotes
- ↑ see Arguments for a Young Earth and other such fairy tales as to why God is the Best Witness Ever™.
- ↑ Great Flood Timeline [[1]]
- ↑ Or possibly not... according to some creationists, pre-flood civilisation was advanced enough to genetically modify animals to produce transitional fossils, so a little old ark wouldn't bother them
- ↑ Actually seven each of the "clean" animals (or seven pairs in some translations) and two each of the "unclean" ones.
- ↑ Genesis 8:20
