Essay:Wiki Parable

A Wiki Parable for our Times

• Once upon a time a great Wiki was created by mankind, and its creators said, “Lo, in this Wiki we shall put all the knowledge of the world and everything shall be known to us. Humankind shall become omniscient.”

Genesis

• And Satan, the lord of this world, was mightily displeased thinking that man would become as wise as He. And so it came to pass that Satan, Prince of Darkness, willed into being his own Wiki which would mislead the sons of men, distort their wisdom and confuse their vision.

• And so he called on children with knowledge gotten at home and on priests of the baser type to come together in a great venture to build a new Wiki. In the beginning, the Wiki had the learning of children and the wit of lesser priests, and many and varied were errors, omissions and prejudices therein. And Satan looked on it, and it was good.

• But presently, when word spread hither and yon through the lands of men about the many foolish errors of the Wiki, there were those who saw what Satan had wrought, and who understood what He intended. These brave souls saw beyond the mirth of their fellows and they said, “Lo, let us go forth into Hades and there we will be bold and edit Satan’s own Wiki with Truth and the Knowledge of Science.”

• But others there were, of a different darker sort, who were also attracted to the Wiki. Daemons and great beasts, who went to Satan’s aid, and there they suckled off the tit of evil and rose to great power. They were exalted to positions of mastery – sysops and admins and bureaucrats they were created.

• And they used their power to chastise the sons of men who went to add Truth to the Satanic Wiki. Lo! The daemons chastised them gleefully with rollbacks and blocks and infinite bans for petty reasons.

Exodus

• Now, the evilest amongst the daemons was the Bloody Beast of Banhammer. He it was who banished the scientists from the Wiki. He it was who expelled them from Hades so that they should no longer tarnish Satan’s great Wiki with the light of truth. He it was who abused them and insulted them. Even many of those who were not expelled by him abandoned Hell to escape from his towering insanity, egomania and paranoia.

• But they were not downcast after their exodus into the cyber-wilderness, for they found a secret place and created there their own Wiki. There, for a time, they laughed and made gay and considered how they might yet subvert the Hellish Wiki.

Lamentations

• But they were betrayed to the Banhammer. And he followed then them to that secret place and fell upon them like a wolf, and devoured them like goats and wished to destroy them utterly. And this was the first terrible coming of the beast and at his passing the beauteous Wiki was no more.

The resurrection

• And the wiki was dead for three days and on the third day it was resurrected, stronger than before, and now it openly hailed any tortured, tormented editors who had been cast from Hell by The Banhammer and the daemons.

Tribulations

• Yet again the Banhammer followed them and abused them for a second time and still sought to obliterate them from within. Lo, many were the wild accusations he made and bitter and vile were his taunts and threats and insinuations. And some there were who were beguiled by him even then, but in time the scales fell from their eyes. And he, in due time, tired of his sport and retreated to Hell.

• And the Wiki grew and prospered. And, after the long knives were moved in the night, even more pilgrims found their way and were welcomed with open arms.

• But the Banhammer was more subtle than any beast of the field so he changed the garments of his feet and he came again for a third time to subvert, sabotage and beguile, first with offers of help and advice but later with lies and accusations. And at first they knew the serpent not for he was cunningly disguised and wore an ebony wig. And they welcomed him. But quickly his true nature was revealed and he said complex things which confused many and seduced others, but all those he seduced regretted their folly and all were betrayed; for he is the Great Betrayer and all witness he bears is false.

• And then he returned again to Hell to do Satan’s bidding.

Revelation

• But all goes not well in hell. A Great Magician (perhaps Satan’s greatest enemy) has cast a curse over the underworld and, such is his power, that without even entering therein he has sown discord over the nature of his title. And so in recent days, it has come to pass that there have been great fallings out amongst the High Spirits of the Underworld; and even some who would challenge the Great Satan himself. Some question if the Banhammer yet sits at Satan’s right hand, and others question who may be being betrayed by whom.
• Now many think that the Banhammer is come out again from Hell a fourth time with more new footwear to walk once again in the land of men. He wears no longer the ebony wig, but comes well trained under cover of the night so that yet again they know him not. The foolish, those who fail to remember, and those feeble in the spirit may again be beguiled by the Great Deceiver. For what man can know his true face, or whence he goes, or where lies his true allegiance?

• All men should know these three things: those who trust in him, he will betray; those who communicate in secret will have their secrets shouted by him from the rooftops; and those who welcome him will know the bitterness of regret.

The End Times

• And when all things have passed and all is revealed, there will be many who heard these words and headed them not, who will say, “Why we were not warned of his fourth coming?” And others, who read these words and understood them not, will say, “Why were these things not made plain?”

• They will be told that unto each is given the understanding necessary; all knowledge is within this very parable for those with the wit to understand.

• He that hath an ear let him hear.