Essay:Marry Someone You Love
From RationalWiki
This essay is an original work by TomMoore. Please comment only on the talk page.
Having read Essay:Marry a Conservative by CP's own Andy Schlafly, and finding myself in disagreement, here are my own beliefs on the matter:
Marry someone you love. A relationship shouldn't be about finding someone to match your ideology, it should be finding someone to complement you as a person and help fulfill your life on the deepest level. To be sure, if there are serious differences on important issues, that might inspire conflict. But in truth, a mature relationship recognizes that between almost every two people, there are fundamental differences that they probably won't agree on. These might range from simple matters, like whether or not vegetarianism is good, to a wide range of political conflicts. But is it really so bad to have something to talk about, and a different point of view upon which to rely in such a hectic world?
I'm not saying politics isn't important, and that there aren't major differences between liberals and conservatives. One major difference is that conservatives have, by and large, achieved a remarkable uniformity of thought through the media - Rush Limbaugh, Conservapedia, and Fox News are prominent examples of institutions devoted to a particular bias. As a result, conservatives tend to agree on a wide range of things much more often that people outside of the movement. But to try to choose a mate for life based on this, believing that their conservatism is going to make them more faithful, more frugal, or more open - that is a fool's errand.
It is very popular to polarize the debate, especially on a site like this one, devoted to one side of it. Everything becomes "conservative" or "liberal." But we're all just people, in the end. If you're liberal, you will be more likely to have certain causes in mind - civil rights, peace, or perhaps gay rights. If you're conservative, you may instead be a strong supporter of national security, religion in schools, or the traditional family. But not only are these all reasonable positions, even if somewhat in conflict, there are still Log Cabin Republicans and Blue Dog Democrats. Every person should be judged on their own merit, and if you were to have problems, it would be nothing but the unsoundest folly to blame it on the person being a "conservative" or a "liberal."
So for your own sake, marry someone you love and respect. Find common ground with the people you meet, learn about who they are inside, and don't worry too much about making sure you both think the same.
