David Icke

From RationalWiki

David Icke, trying desperately to get his message through the jamming transmitters of the giant lizards.

David Icke is a British former football player, television sports presenter, and former spokesman for the Green Party who, in recent years, has devoted his life to informing the world that it's actually secretly controlled by evil shape-shifting lizard-people from the 4th dimension.

Some people have taken offense to this, claiming that "shape-shifting lizard-people" is a "code word" for "Jews". This may seem silly—but, then again, so does Icke. While Icke claims that he is not anti-Semitic - and that when he says "shape-shifting lizard-people," he really does quite literally mean that they are lizards - he does hang around with some rather fringe right-wing nutcases, but balances it all out by being just as insane a believer in New Age mumbo-jumbo. Picture a British version of Alex Jones after taking LSD. This theory fits with others that claim that the Bankers and Corporations Elite that run the world are owned by the reptilians.

In 1991, he announced on the Terry Wogan chat show that he was "the son of God" and that Britain would be devastated by tidal waves and earthquakes, leading to claims that he was mentally ill. He also began wearing all purple all the time which furthered claims he was either disturbed or perhaps a reptilian himself. He was even passed over for Celebrity Big Brother in 2006 for being "too weird"!

In 2008, he ran for election to Parliament as an independent candidate in the Haltemprice and Howden by-election. He got only 110 votes, and lost his deposit. If the lizard people had let him win, he would not have actually entered Parliament as he vowed not to actually take the oath to the Queen required.

Icke considers himself the most controversial writer in the world. People who don't pay much attention to the weirder sections of the bookstore consider him "who?", which puts him in somewhat the same category Ward Churchill occupies among liberals.

[edit] List of people thought to be reptilian overlords

Hail to the chief!

• Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Knight of the Order of the Elephant, Colonel-in-Chief of the South African Railways and Harbours Brigade, monarch of all Barbados.
• The Queen Mother
• Prince Charles of England.^[1]
• George "Dubya" Bush
• Bush the elder
• Bill Clinton
• Hillary Rodham Clinton
• Al Gore
• Tony Blair
• Dalton McGuinty^[2]
• Harold Wilson
• Ted Heath
• The Rothschilds
• The Rockerfellers
• Death Adder (Actually, the case for this one is pretty convincing)
• Kris Kristofferson
• Boxcar Willie.^[3]
• Mr Bean
• Scary Spice
• Jack Bauer
• The presenters of the Blue Peter children's television show
• Everyone who doesn't believe that evil-reptillian-nazi-atheist-capitalist-republican-communist-zionist-black-homosexual-jewish aliens are trying to take over the world
• (Add more!)

If any of these individuals are seen sacrificing children or drinking blood, they should be reported to the zoo constabulary post-haste.

[edit] Important Notice

Anyone whose "Legal defense fund" is vital to continuing their work should be approached with caution.

[edit] David Icke fashion statements

David Icke, as well as his fans, are well known in popular culture for promoting the aluminum foil hat trend. This trend started as a way of keeping (insert evil conspiracy group here) from being able to read the mind of the person wearing the hat, but the trend has grown to be popular in some mental hospitals, as well as in certain American militia movement meeting places.^{[citation needed]}

[edit] External links

• Icke's own website
• Reptiloid on TinWiki

[edit] Footnotes