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Originally published on the New Hampshire Gazette website. Used with the express permission and encouragement of Steven Fowle, editorius. Formatting has been altered in the transition to the wiki.
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Chickenhawks: The Legal Department
[edit] John Ashcroft
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- Born: 1942
- Employer: The U.S. Taxpayer
- Conflict Avoided: Vietnam
- Notes: As we will never tire of saying, this guy lost an election to a dead man. Where do you go from there? If a Bush is in office, you rise. Annointed himself with Crisco before being sworn in. Also afraid of calico cats. Famously said, "To those who scare peace-loving people with phantoms of lost liberty, my message is this: Your tactics only aid terrorists, for they erode our national unity and diminish our resolve. They give ammunition to America's enemies and pause to America's friends."
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[edit] Antonin Scalia
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- Born: March 11, 1936
- Employer: The U.S. Taxpayer
- Conflict Avoided: The Peacetime Draft
- Notes: Associate Supreme Court Justice Scalia - how come he wasn't caught in the peacetime draft of his youth? We dunno ... ask him.
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[edit] Clarence Thomas
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- Born: 1948
- Employer: The U.S. Taxpayer
- Conflict Avoided: Vietnam
- Notes: Avoided the draft thanks to a school deferment. Got the deferment thanks to affirmative action at Holy Cross and Yale. Of course he's staunchly anti-affirmative action. He saw no conflict of interest deliberating recounts in Florida and the outcome of the 2000 election while his wife, Virginia, who works for the influential conservative think tank The Heritage Foundation, gathered resumes for appointments in a possible Bush administration.
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[edit] See also
