B4B:Random Quotes
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[edit] Random quotes
The following are random quotes from the blog entries and ensuing discussions from the parody site Blogs 4 Brownback.
"Jesus doesn’t want us to think. He wants us to listen to Him and obey Him. Do you really presume to know better than God Steve? Do you???" BJ Tabor
"SERND THEM MOONBATS AND THEIR SCHOOLS OFF A CLIFF THERE WHTEY BELONG LET THM GO TO CANADA IF THEIR SO SMART HOEP YUO LIEK FREEZIGN YOURE NUST OFF COMMIES!!!!!" Jack Fremont
"Adam Nelson, you are one bloviating idiot. If you can’t say things in a few sentences, they don’t merit saying." dadaclu
"Imaginary numbers are pure evil." Sisyphus
"We should shift the emphasis in our schools away from the languages of anti-American Old Europe, like French, and towards the languages of pro-American New Europe, like Albanian and Estonian. Also, it is scandalous that despite that country’s stalwart support as an ally in Iraq, not a single American high school offers classes in Australian." mattsteinglass (trolling, or at least I hope so)
"I like the way you think about things, mattsteinglass." Sisyphus
"Those terms ([+] charge for protons and [-]charge for electrons) are arbitrary, evil scientific denominations. Electrons are actually positive, just, and good; protrons are evil, negative, indolent, sinful, and worthless. Nor are they as powerful; there are more electrons out there. Otherwise, how could ions exist?" Sisyphus
"We build lots of things that work for reasons that no one understands. Even simple household appliances like toaster ovens are almost impossible to explain. Are YOU going to claim you know how your toaster oven works? I doubt it. I have yet to hear a coherent explanation of them. I think the first models were built by guesswork, divinely inspired guesswork. Without God’s guiding Hand, we wouldn’t have most modern technology. But to ask how it works is to verge on blasphemy." Sisyphus
"Everyone knows that appliances work because God allows them to work. The article even admits it,
winking at the audience and letting them know it’s all a joke instead of some whacked-out moonbat
insanity, by stating at a different point
.
Like all appliances, are miracles. Their functioning and mechanics are a matter of divinely-inspired
guesswork. Scientists and other know-it-all treefrog types can bluster and pretend to understand the
processes involved, but the bottom line is, they’re miraculous. Only God can understand such a
thing."
Sisyphus
"Because America is the good guys these things aren’t torture when we do them. Torture is something the bad guys do. Therefore the only correct way to refer to our enhanced interrogation techniques is as enhanced interrogation techniques. When bad people use them, however, it’s torture. And that all seems about right to me." DPS
"As we all know, even the ones (women) who are genuinely raped bear part of the blame for being raped, in that they dress provocatively, drink liquor, or associate with questionable people. I think giving lighter sentences to these women is a terrible example and will encourage promiscuity. They must take responsibility for their actions." DPS
"Women are better able to resist temptation than men, they themselves being Satan’s primary tool of temptation." Sisyphus
"I think women should be forced to strap their bosoms down in public. Men should not be subject to their vile temptations. A woman who goes out in public without her chest strapped should be subject to criminal penalties. Women who work in fields other than nursing, cleaning, cooking, and housewifery should also face severe punishment- and perhaps I’m not going far enough." Sisyphus
"I bet we could even get them to strap each other. Think of it. Millions and millions of American women strapping each other’s bosoms. That would be a glorious day I would not soon forget." Sisyphus
"I do have to give those mullahs credit for this one:
.
Iran’s parliament on Wednesday voted in favor of a bill that could lead to the death penalty for
persons convicted of working in the production of pornographic movies."
Sisyphus
"I am confident that the death penalty will effectively deter all future smut production in Iran. I am equally confident that a similar measure enacted here, and pursued with equal judicial fervor, would quickly eliminate pornography from our drug stores, our video stores, our computers, and our lives. I, for one, would applaud such a measure." Sisyphus
"It’s a shame we have to nuke a nation (Iran) with such an efficient control of public decency. I would propose that we first make strenuous diplomatic efforts to convert them all to Christianity, before lobbing the bombs at them. A people who can execute pornographers surely can’t be all bad." Sisyphus
I think if the government finances homosexuality recovery groups and training camps, that might help alleviate the problem. Sadly, I don’t think you’ll see that anytime soon, not with San Francisco liberals like Pelosi running Congress." Sisyphus
"We should kill the Somalis, kill all of them. The good ones have mostly died or left." Marcia P.
"We should kill them all. Kill everyone who is unwilling to accept Christianity. It’s the only way to keep ourselves safe." Marcia P.
"Maybe we should just kill them." Sisyphus
"Obviously Skeptic is already wearing the mind-control underwear (Mormon underwear)." DPS
"I strongly recommend that you have you underwear checked by a priest, and that you microwave all of it for at least ten minutes." DPS
"http://www.mormon-underwear.com/ Obviously, since it’s a sympathetic (to Mormons) site, they probably won’t mention the mind-control aspect of the underwear. . PS it goes without saying that this is how they are controlling Willard “Mitt” Romney." DPS
"Israel can give the Golan Heights away? I thought God gave that to them in 1967, since when do you give God’s gifts away? We need Sam in the Whitehouse NOW to stop this nonsense. Olmert is a French name, ins’t it?" BJ Tabor
"Yeah, I was there, the Israelis laid the contract on the ground, then a lightning bolt struck the paper and the name YHVA (in Hebrew) was burned on the dotted line!" Skeptic (trolling)
"Wow! I had no idea that had happened! I don’t see how you can still be an atheist after hearing about something like that." DPS
"...the world of Christ demands that non-believers (especially Muslims and vegetarians) MUST be tortured in order to protect America. The brilliant television program (the only one I let my children watch in between their home-school lessons) “24″ has this point exactly correct. My wife believes that this show is the direct word of God; normally I do not permit her to express her opinions, but I think in this instance she is correct." St. Legalize (trolling)
"I admire your family values very much. My wife, also, knows her place." Sisyphus
"No one really knows what ether is made of, but I suspect that it’s water. I think that’s why we can see the Sun and the stars through it. That also explains why the sky is blue, and it may have something to do with rainfall." Sisyphus
"Islam and Hinduism are varying denominations of Satanism if you ask me..." Sisyphus
Newton* was a Darwinian fraud. How can you muster the nerve to even mention his name in this conversation?" Sisyphus
*Newton lived two centuries before Darwin was born.
"There’s so much good news coming out of Iraq, that the Socialist Media must have a hard time digging up all of the bad news in Iraq that they report 24/7. I predict that 2008 will be a huge victory for the Republican Party. Now that we are no longer saddled with Moderate Republicans in Congress we can run on a Strong Conservative Platform at the center of which should be the war in Iraq. All The Way With Brownback In ‘08!" Americans4Americans
"The Constitution is an obvious fraud to me because it guarantees that which the Bible
prohibits, i.e. due process of law, the freedom to be secure in one’s possessions and papers, the
freedom to avoid torture, the “freedom” to express thoughts contrary to the strict word of Christ,
equality among the races, the right of women to vote, and the “freedom” to NOT be compelled toward
the only true ideology - the word of Christ. I suspect that liberals, communists, foreigners, women,
people of color, gays, etc. manipulted the document at its inception to include the blasphemy
contained therein. The proof of this is the fact that the only necessary freedom necessary to men is
the freedom to arm one’s self against the tyrany of a state that presumes to become too secular.
.
It is the word of God, and therefore subject to no debate. Only an uncivil, barbarian, unaware of
the techniques of reason, can disagree with such self-evident truth."
St. Legalize (trolling)
"St. Legalize You make good sense." carsick
"Incidents like this make me seriously question whether or not we’ve ever even really been into “outer space.” I’ve never been there; have you?" Sisyphus
"What earthly good is learning about astronomy and evolution, unless you want to stare at the sky and think you’re a monkey?" Carey Meiers
Discussion regarding the flatness of the Earth:
People keep telling me about this country called China, but I seriously doubt it exists. After all, I’ve never been there; have you?" The skepticist
"It probably exists, though. After all, many of the people who’ve been there aren’t getting paid to talk about it. That’s the difference between China and outer space- the financial incentive to lie about China’s existence is non-existent." Sisyphus
"The travel agencies, Sisyphus. Everyone who says they’ve been to China is in the pay of the travel agencies, and the travel agencies will put out a hit on anyone who says that China doesn’t actually exist, because the travel agencies want to swindle unsuspecting people out of their hard-earned cash." The Skepticist
"Nonsense. Even our Army’s been to China. I trust those guys with my life." Sisyphus
"So…, if they are your credible source, then try looking up military excursions through the Antarctic, they’ve done it and there is plenty of documentation on it." Fritz
"Small unit excursions are different. Small units can easily be spoken to by the CIA. Any dissenters can be dealt with lethally and quietly. The scientific community has no problem with getting small numbers of soldiers to lie. But a major deployment is another story." Sisyphus
Discussion on who Sam Brownback should include in his cabinet:
"I think Pat Robertson should head the Department of Christianity. There should be a new Department, the Department of Non-Christian Affairs, that should be headed by someone committed to converting those people. That person may be General Boykin, or may be Reverend Haggard." Marcia P.
NASA is an uneccesary government institution and should be eliminated.
.
The only things our government should do is protect America and defend Moral Values.
.
"With less than half the budget NASA receives yearly we could fund a Department For The Promotion
Of Traditional Values."
Traditional Values American
"can we dig up reagan?
.
ann coulter in charge of the Ministry of Peace*
.
all of halliburton in charge of Ministry of Plenty*
.
put bill o’reilly in charge of the Ministry of Truth*
.
and jesus in charge of the Ministry of Love*"
honkey magoo (trolling)
*The ministries of the totalitarian "Big Brother Is Watching You" government in George Orwell's novel "1984".
"Those aren’t real offices, Mr. Magoo." Sisyphus
"I know honkey magoo was trying to make a joke (those are stupid names for cabinet departments, by the way) but I wonder if Bill O’Reilly would serve as White House spokesman. Kind of like Tony Snow, but with a little more zip." DPS
"honkey magoo was not joking the way you think, Sisiphus. He was making a reference to George Orwell´s masterpiece, 1984." PG
"“honkey magoo was not joking the way you think, Sisiphus.
He was making a reference to George Orwell´s masterpiece, 1984.”
.
I don’t see how we’re supposed to carry on any kind of useful conversation with honkey magoo when he
can’t tell the difference between the real world and things he has read in books.
.
I do have to say, though, that a Department of Truth and a Department of Plenty don’t sound half
bad, although I’d like to hear more about them. The ones about Peace and Love sound way too hippie,
though. We already have San Francisco, and that should be enough."
DPS
"Does anyone have suggestions for who should lead the following ministries?
.
Ministry for Public Enlightenment and Propaganda*
.
Ministry for Weapons, Munitions, and Armament*
.
Ministry for the Occupied Eastern Territories*
.
Is there also going to be a religious police** to flog women who are not submissive enough?"
Skeptic (trolling)
*Well known Nazi-ministries.
**Akin to the dreaded religious police of Saudi Arabia.
"“Ministry for Public Enlightenment and Propaganda”
.
Bill O’Reilly.
.
“Ministry for Weapons, Munitions, and Armament”
.
Dick Cheney.
.
“Ministry for the Occupied Eastern Territories”
.
Tommy Franks.
.
“Is there also going to be a religious police to flog women who our not submissive enough?”
.
I hope Ann Coulter heads it. She’s gorgeous! She’d be great at it, too. You definitely want a woman
handling a sensitive task like this one."
Sisyphus
Update 2: Osama impersonator penetrates Austrian checkpoints.[1] Psycheout
(the APEC conference was held in AustrALia, not Austria)
